Sunday, December 24, 2006

A Rare Non-Humorous Post?

You don't get that from the skeet thrower very often. I don't know whether to tell you to enjoy it, or whether you're just reading this wondering how I'm going to work in some comedy.

Anyway, I am in the midst of vacation for 12ish days, so I'm not sure how often I'll post. I'm sure I'll hit up the internets occasionally. Just keep me in a reader and you'll know when I post.

If I don't see/talk to you - have a great Christmas & Happy New Year.

If you read this far, you know I'm going to reward you. Check out this video clip of the Star Wars Holiday Special. It's a 9 minute clip, but after about 2 minutes it starts to get really funny. Mainly because it is just Wookies talking.

After watching that clip, this had to be one of the worst Christmas Specials ever. No wonder Luke Skywalker never worked again...

Friday, December 22, 2006

Do You Like Your Weather With A Hint Of Gay...

Check out this video of a Florida (I assume) weatherman. He is giving the forcast when, all of a sudden, he spots a bug and flips out. First, he swears on television and then he goes nuts. It's like he switches the "Flaming Gay" switch to on.

Apparently, the same bug came back to get him 3 hours later on another report. This time, he really flips out. It's freaking awesome.

Maybe he's not gay. But if he's not, he sure is one affeminate male. I don't know if I have too much room to talk - I do love Mean Girls...

Wednesday, December 20, 2006

Cod In A Box?

This has been all over the internets lately, but in case you haven't seen it - its an SNL digital short. Prolly the best stuff since "Lazy Sunday."

The only thing that would have made this better is if they used the word cod instead of dick. Although, it works really well. If you were lucky enough to see this Saturday, you might enjoy this as it is the uncensored version.

Good times.

I love the chick from Jo Shmo (the TNN/Spike fake reality show) that is now on SNL. She's really stepped it up. Good for her. You get that dick in a box.

Anyway - Well done, Justin Timberlake. You keep on bringing that sexy back. Bring some comedy back to Saturday Night Live while you're at it as well.

Tuesday, December 19, 2006

Dr. Phil Versus Alternate Dr. Phil

I'm not a Dr. Phil fan. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I dislike Dr. Phil and so for the rest of this post I will refer to him as Dr. Philliam. He's one of those people that I would borderline punch if I ever met him. Much like Isaiah Thomas said, "You'd better watch out if you see me in the streets." He definitely is not on my guilty pleasures list.

Anyway, now that I've put myself on some FBI watch list, check out this clip from Dr. Philliam. It is a bit ludicrous. First, he tells kids not to watch this clip. Do you know anything about kids? Are you an idiot? That made me perk up and I hate your show. Furthermore, it is on during the daytime. The only people watching this are kids and Oprah moms. Way to turn off your audience, Dr. Philliam.

But I digress (I'm all over the's prolly because I'm procrastinating...), in this clip, he is supposed to interview the creator of "Bum Fights," one of my boy JP's favorite things on the internets. The guy comes out dressed as Dr. Philliam. Good times. Dr. Philiam then overreacts and states that "he can't have a civilized" convo with him. Civilized? There are Dr. Philliam soundboards that have calling yourself a "drunk pimp." Niiiiiiice.

Anyway, check out the clip.

I will say that I do enjoy the Dr. Philliam soundboard prank calls. I love it when he tells that lady to start having a gay relationship. So, maybe I do like something about Dr. Phil. Maybe.


Sunday, December 17, 2006

What the Hell Happened to Mary-Kate Olsen?

Remember yesterday when I talked about guilty pleasures? Well, one of them used to be the Olsen twins. They were boderline hot and filthy rich and you knew it was only a matter of time before a crazy ass sister-on-sister sex tape broke out.

I disticntly remember looking on the internets and finding a count down until they turned 18. Unbelievable.

We all know Mary-Kate Olsen has had her problems with Meth and Anorexia, but this is ridiculous. These pictures were snapped of her recently and she looks like hell. Audrey! Audrey! If you were a man I'd punch you! Honestly, if someone can explain to me how someone that is so loaded and that was fairly attractive can fall apart like this, I'd like to know so that it doesn't happen to my daughters (who I hope will be rich and attractive, but not get on every guy they meet) someday.

Anyway, here are the pics.

Friday, December 15, 2006

What the Hell Happened to Avril Lavigne?

I have a few guilty pleasures in life. In no particular order they are:

  1. Mean Girls

  2. Boy Meets World Reruns

  3. Avril Lavigne
I'm sure there are more, but I just can't think of them right now. Sadly, I think I may have to scratch one from the list. Boy Meets World, you ask? No, fortunately I can still catch up on the life of young Corey Matthews on the Disney channel multiple times a day. Sadly, something has happened to Avril Lavigne. I'm not quite sure what it was. I have provided evidence of her evolution in the following clips.

This was the first time America met Avril. Her punkish style with catchy, girly pop became an instant hit. Who didn't love Complicated and Sk8trBoi. Complicated is an underrated party song by the way. Crank this up once everyone has had a few drinks and you'll get a sing along that may only be topped by Journey.

Don't Tell Me
Avril got hotter in this video but the all black outfit still showed her punk side. She still had that rough feel. The song was still popish, but don't act like you changed the radio station when this came on. In fact, if you were by yourself I bet you caught yourself singing along.

Avril on TRL
Sadly, something happened to Avril. She got married, but that's certainly not the case because I got married and my wife certainly didn't try to become Jessica Simpson. Plus she said her new album is a lot more upbeat and different. Who wants upbeat, Avril? What happened to your angst? Why the blond hair and perkiness? Also, this interview (much like all TRL interviews) sucks. So please don't bore yourself and watch it all. The first segment really shows how she's changed.

So, if for some reason Avril, her husband, her publicist or anyone else that can influence her for some ungodly reason reads this, please tell her to go back, lest she be struck from my list of guilty pleasures.

At least she still has the Canadian accent...wait - Canadian accents is something I don't like. Damnit.

Thursday, December 14, 2006

'95 Nebraska Is the GOAT and Herbstreit Flips Out

ESPN Classic ran a program last night - the All-Time Greatest College Football Teams. They had some crazy internet voting and compared teams from different eras. As a sidenote, I don't think you can compare athletes from different eras because athletes now are bigger, faster and stronger than those from 30 years ago. That said, there were still some bad ass athletes, but, in general, some of the best athletes went to baseball and boxing, not to football.

But I digress, Nebraska had 3 teams in the voting, 1971, 1983 and 1995 (my personal favorite). They had the preliminary voting online and then they had the last few rounds live on classic. The voting was pretty interesting with 95 Nebrsaka topping 71 Nebraska as the Greatest Of All Time. That's not really a surprise considering 1995 Nebraska is widely considered one of the best all-time teams.

But what is interesting is how Kirk Herbstreit reacts. He flips out. You may remember last year that Herbie voted 95 Nebraska as like the 4th best team all-time when he was trying to say that 2005 USC was the best all-time. Now he gets visibly angry that people voted 71 Nebraska to face 95 Nebraska. Now I know quite a bit about college football and I don't know a lot about the 71 team, but apparently they were pretty good (but I think my athletes from a long time ago point still holds up). I have no clue if they were the 2nd best all-time, but it made for an awesome clip.

So, now that you have read through all of that, you know I'll give you something for it. Check out Herbstreit on the show. He gets so angry and flustered - its awesome. I laughed really, really hard. At one point he stands up and I expected him to do the "F- You, F- You, You're Cool, F- You, I'm out" bit. Also, I like how they have the senior citizen's table. Good work ESPN.

Wednesday, December 13, 2006

The Man Is Hiding In The Shadows!!!!

I'm not quite sure what this video is. It features Dr. Dre and some generic rapper in a recording studio, and I think it is a promotional video for said generic rapper. It doesn't matter.

My three favorite parts to this video are:

  1. The unintentional humor of the generic rapper asking, "You see this man right here?" Unfortunately for him, he is hiding in the shadows and it is impossible to see him.

  2. The generic rapper telling "bitches" to "give me P---y" because he knows Dre. The best part of that may be how Dre just laughs and then is like, oh yeah, that's true.

  3. On a more serious note, it provides further proof that Dr. Dre's Detox is coming out. That is going to be one sweet album.

After further investigation, I believe the generic rapper's name is Bishop Lamont. Niiiiiiiiiiice. At least he ends with "Church!"

Tuesday, December 12, 2006

Bush Leagicious

First of all, I used to be one of Fergie's biggest supporters. Then she got all meth'ed up and released a CD that makes me want to shoot myself in the face.

Honestly, I almost posted about Fergie earlier, but I didn't want to subject you all to the pain. I think those guys in "London Bridges" were yelling "Oh Shit" because they realized how bad the song was. Although, I think it has been topped by "Fergilicious." I don't know, it's hard to tell who loses more in the battle between that shitty song and "Wind It Up" by the formerly hot, Gwen Stefani. At least in that song I can replace whatever Gwen says with "Derka Derka" and it fits.

Anyway, I have provided you with a video of a live performance of Fergilicious. If you want to get to the really painful stuff, just FF2x to about 1:53 and listen to her sing. It is horrendous, and, therefore, unintentionally hilarious. Also, I think my wife wore the dress Fergie is wearing to a $5 prom 5 years ago. Not kidding. I think there's pictures of my wife's cleavage on one of my friend's phones from that dress.

As for Gwen, I used to think she was hot, but now I'm too bothered by "Derka Derka" and whatever is living in her hair to know what I think about her...

Monday, December 11, 2006

High School Football Rules!

OK, so I've heard that my last couple posts have been a little bush league. Well, you'll enjoy this one.

Screw the Superbowl Shuffle, this may be the most bad ass football team name video available. There are so many preposterous moments in this video that I can't name them all. My top 3 moments include:

1) The uncomforable look of the quarterback (I assume he's the one they say is in the shotgun).
2) The old white dude dancing.
3) The fact that they all lift up their jersey's, but they forget that there is no team name there. You're supposed to do that to represent your team name.

Anyway, without further ado, "Do The Devil Walk. Dooo Iiiiiitttt." I have no clue what this is called, they just say that a lot.

How can you not be psyched up for the Tift Co. High School Blue Devils after that. I'm so jacked up right now.

In case you have never seen it, here is the Superbowl Shuffle. Good, but not nearly as good as Lil' Trill's Devil Walk.

Saturday, December 09, 2006

Impressive Quarters Video

It is the weekend, and I know several people love to play quarters as a drinking game. I myself prefer something like Tippi-cup, Beer Pong or Beer Die (or Jewish Toss as it may be called at Arizona State). Anyway, this guy is awesome at quarters. I am not sure how many times they had to re-film these shots, but it is pretty impressive that he made them none the less.

Oh yeah, it is sponsored by Axe, so that might knock it down a notch. Still impressive though.

After watching it again, it is seems pretty ridiculous. Why would you attempt these shots? Good times.

Friday, December 08, 2006

Ok Go Treadmill Dance

This is like 3ish (maybe more) months old, but I was talking with some people the other day and they had not seen this yet. This is a music video from the music group Ok Go. Not huge on Ok Go, but the video is pretty awesome. If you haven't seen it yet, take the 3 minutes to watch this video.

Thursday, December 07, 2006

Did You Know There Was A 24 Prequel?

Well more acurately prequels to season 4 and 5? Because I had no clue until someone at work told me. This is not the trailers! For Seasons 4 and 5, on DVD only, they released prequels for the season. The season 4 prequel is freaking bad ass - it's an uncut director's edition and you'll know why if you watch it. The season 5 prequel is also awesome because my boy Bauer executes easily one of his best kills of the 24 series. Anyway, without further ado, here are the 24 prequels if you've never seen them.

Season 4 Prequel

Season 5 Prequel

There's also one for season 6 out there - it came out with the season 5 DVD's; however, as I'm currently watching season 5 again, I'm going to wait to watch it until I've rewatched season 5 completely. That said, I'll prolly post that when the time comes.

Wednesday, December 06, 2006

Dr. Claw's (from Inspector Gadget) Face!

Did anyone else watch this show growing up? I've included the intro for nostalgia purposes. On a side note, isn't this the most ludicrously long intro for any cartoon? Also, I think this video may be from the a spanish version from the way that "Inspector Gadget" is said at the end.

Anyway, did anyone ever see Dr. Claws face? Of course you didn't because they never showed it. That is until like three years after the series was done and they released an action figures set. Then, of course they had to show you Dr. Claw's face. But these bastards are smart and they covered his face in packaging. But someone had to buy it right? So after a few years of searching, I have finally found the picture of Dr. Claw's face. So, if you're not to scared to see the evil menace behind one of the cartoons you know you watched growing up, scroll down...

... and see the weird ass face. What the f- is this? This is the bad guy? No mask, no glowing eyes, no scars? Just a messed up mouth, some uneven eyes, a HU-UGE mouth and some bushy eyebrows. Bush. That's Bush League. I almost didn't show this to you guys because it upset me so much. Bad Times. Stupid Dr. Claw...

Tuesday, December 05, 2006

Hip-Hop With Your 99 cent Nuggets, Biatch!

I started working in the real world just over 5 months ago. And when I started, I had to endure like 6 weeks of training. Yes, in the long run its definitely been beneficial, but, honestly, once I hit the third week of training, I was ready to actually do some work.

Anyway, I'm sure training would have gone a lot better if it was in this format.

As an added bonus, now you know how Wendy's square burgers are made!

Sunday, December 03, 2006

Donde Esta Mateo?

Where have I been? All over the place. I'll fill you into my journeys later when I have more time. In the meantime, I thought I would leave you with something enjoyable to look at:

Harrison Beck Fan Club

Make sure you read all of the comments in that Facebook group (and join it if you believe it...). The comments come in waves so I would assume that there is a few more battles to come. I think the internets were made by God (or Al Gore, depending on who you believe) so that I could have an avenue to laugh at idiots across the world. Good times.