After Dark: Strippers and Dwayne Wade Sex

The after dark portion of this blog continues this week with a couple of ridiculous items. First, to the right, is a picture of Dwayne Wade on a box of Sueper Sex Pills. I have no clue where this box is from (obviously Asia somewhere) but I'm pretty sure no matter where you are, Sueper is not the right spelling. Furthermore, there's no way Dwayne Wade allowed himself to be on this box. This pic came from the outstanding basketball blog Basketbawful they said that this pic of Wade came from the front of NBA Live '06 so I guess it's spelling and legal fail on part of the Sueper Sex pills.

Next, is a video of a webcam stripper fail from the always good Fail Blog. It's moderately NSFW (no nudity, but she's scantly clad) but worth the watch. Trust me.

Italian Spiderman Parts V & VI

I love these crazy Italian Spiderman videos are some of my favorite things. They are ridiculous and over the top. It's gotta be fake though (I echoed this in my last Italian Spiderman post), but after seeing things like this I wasn't sure.

So I decided to research it (and by research I mean type "Italian Spiderman" into Wikipedia). The all knowing encyclopedia says that it is a joke being made by an Australian production company. It also says that it started out as just a for a student film (which I also nailed). All-in-all, it's kinda disappointing, although it probably says better things about our world.

Anyway, without further ado, here's part V featuring a 2-minute a fat guy in yellow sweat suit, the mortal kombat head swivel guy (in the background), and a 2-minute psychadelic drug ending (seriously just quit watching after the mortal kombat dude appears).



Here is Part VI, which I call "LOST: Italian Spiderman" because it's the only way to describe it...



Have a good weekend.

Jason Bateman Hancock Attack

Will Smith's movie Hancock comes out sometime next weekend. I can't tell if it will be good or not, but it does feature Jason Bateman. He's been making the rounds on all of the night shows, but this interview with Kieth Olberman was probably the best. Trust me.



You may have to click through to the post if you are in a reader to see this video.

I think I just blue myself...

Crazy Chuck E. Cheese Action

I used to love Chuck E. Cheese and Showbiz Pizza because I loved all of the video games there. Of course, my family would always go order a large pizza and invariably sit in front of the electronic gorilla/mouse depending on the restaurant. I always hated the songs they sang, but this one would be awesome.



I don't even like that song - I think the lyrics are ridiculous. Here's an even more ridiculous one featuring Shakira. Side note: My brother came up with alternate lyrics to this song that you'll never forget: "Oh baby when you talk like that, you make my p*ssy all wet." A bit crude? Yes. Hilarious? Yes. Sing them to yourselves while watching this video.



I'm not sure what it is about those videos - I'm pretty sure it's the memories mixed with the outrageous intro discussion mixed with bad singing mixed with a few margaritas - but they make me laugh.

Shaq Rapping Madness

If you have checked out the Internets or ESPN over the last 24 hours, you have probably seen this video which showed up sometime Monday morning. TMZ released a video of Shaq freestyle rapping a diss about Kobe, and since I love hip-hop, freestyling, and the Association, I'm pretty sure I need to post it.



That is nasty. It's too bad he doesn't go after Kobe more on that one because I'm pretty sure that would have made it better. That had to be one the of happiest moments of big guy's life. Well done. Of course, this isn't the first time, Shaq has done a "freestyle" diss either. Here's one of him taking on Vlade "The Godfather of Flopping" Divac.



At this point, you may be asking yourself, how did Shaq get so good at freestyle rapping? The answer? Practice. And also lots of attempts. You see, much like his free throws, Shaq only connects on about 50% of his freestyles. For instance, here's another bus freestyle from the Diesel.



And if you thought that was bad, just watch this clip from the critically acclaimed movie* Kazaam.



We genies! Of course, that's not really a freestyle. But it's still awesome a rap. Side note, iIf you really liked that, you can even watch it in Spanish!

Anyway, back to the original video - Shaq was pretty good, although I wish he sh*t all over Kobe again (MADTV warning). In any case, that had to be fun to see live, and you know some promoter somewhere is trying to setup a freestyle rap battle between Kobe and Shaq right now.

* Kazaam was actually not critically acclaimed. But it did have it's own underoos!

After Dark: Talking to 2 Girls at One Time

Sometimes I find funny/ridiculous videos and I don't really like to post them during the week because they are NSFW. As such, I've decided to introduce a new segment called Skeet Thrower: After Dark. These intermittent posts will randomly occur on the weekend and contain videos that you probably shouldn't watch at work.

The first video is from a crappy chat line commercial.



1) Who thought those girls were hot?
2) What kind of bikinis are they wearing? That just looks like bad early 90's underwear.
3) What kind of phones are they talking on? They look like regular corded phones that have just been unplugged
4) Seriously?
5) And finally, no, I don't think I actually can handle talking to two girls at one time.

Friday Dance Craze

It's Friday and we should celebrate by seeing some ridiculous dancing.

First, here's Maury's you're not the father dance.



Then, here's Darth Vader breaking it down Thriller style.



If you enjoyed that, here's the full video.

Finally, here's Mario Lopez as a gay young pirate.



Have a good weekend.