Friday, July 13, 2007

Casual Dress Friday: Dresser Doesn't Rhyme With Baretta

It is a Casual Dress Friday here at the Skeet Thrower, and today may actually be the first time that I've actually been more casually dressed on a Friday than I usually am. Today, I tried to buy kolatches or breakfast tacos to celebrate my first week at my new jobby-job. Turns out Lincoln doesn't have either anywhere. What. The. Fuck. That's bush, Lincoln. Real Bush league. If I could punch you in the face, I would.

Anyway, as you know, when I'm not looking for delicious breakfast tacos, I like to keep my ear to the streets. Of course, part of keeping my ear to the streets is keeping tabs on some of the craziest figures running around such as Mike Tyson, Daniel Artest and R. Kelly (that would be a must if it wasn't on Mad TV). R. Kelly might be my favorite because he makes such good music, but he also does ridiculous things like pee on underage chicks.

One thing R. Kelly did that was ludicrous was the Trapped in the Closet music video thing. That was absurd. If you haven't seen it (although I'm not sure how you missed it), you can catch the first 5 parts on that link (but I don't recommend it). That said, the unintentional comedy of TITC is hard to match. Fortunately, the DVD commentary (there was a DVD?) added by R. Kelly has really added to it. But before you watch it, I want you to say two words: "Dresser" and "Baretta."

I like how he keeps looking over his shoulder like "Hey, hey, this is a good part. Watch this!" Also, I've been known to do a little freestylin' (but bloggin' is the new rappin', right? Right?), so I understand trying to force a rhyme, but I just can't make the rhyme "dresser" and "baretta" work. Dres-ser. Ba-ret-ta. For as atrocious as the TITC videos are, I can't complain because they gave me one of the funniest moments from South Park all-time.

You keep your head up R. Kelly (that's what she said). Keep making comedies music videos where you are dressed ridiculously and I'll be happy.

Have a good weekend and exercise caution - it is Friday the 13th.


D Wheezy said...

Ah Friday. I'm pretty sure that was the pinnacle of both Ice Cube and Chris Tucker's acting careers.

Chris Tucker's only movies between 1998 and 2007 have been Rush Hour 1 - 3.

Will said...

That's hilarious. While on the subject of R. Kelly, did anyone else see this quote (he made it, by the way, while indicted on child porn charges):

"My greatest competition is, well, me . . . I'm the Ali of today. I'm the Marvin Gaye of today. I'm the Bob Marley of today. I'm the Martin Luther King, or all the other greats that have come before us. And a lot of people are starting to realize that now."

Double M said...

I'm not sure how anyone can say that about themselves. That said, I often refer to me as a master after I got my graduate degree.

While I'm here in the comments here is another ridiculous R. Kelly spoof. It's another MadTV thing, so I couldn't put it in the post out of principal.

Double M said...

Also, Wheezy, my hip-hop roots won't allow my to comment on Ice Cube's fall from grace.

LauraJean said...

Lack of kolaches is a real problem. I expected more from Nebraska, what with the czech festival happening not that far away. Although, to be fair, I don't think the delicious kolaches of texas are the traditional way. I think czech kolaches are those flattened fruit ones. Regardless, sad day for Lincoln.