The Immature Video Post

I have two videos today that you should enjoy. They are probably just a little immature, but that fits on this website anyway (and on the heels of a couple Twitter posts yesterday, you can tell I'm not too worried about maturity).

The first is an awesome clip from TMNT 2 that someone sent me the other day. I own the first TMNT movie, but I haven't seen the 2nd TMNT movie in a long time. I didn't realize it was a different April in that one - these are the kinda things I'm expected to know. Anyway, here's an awesome clip from that movie - just wait for Splinter's line.



Of course, a brief innuendo can only be topped by this awesome Shaq clip that I found while looking for that Will Ferrell clip from the other day.



Also, yes, I know I promised a NBA round 2 preview - and one will show up - but I just can't believe my Spurs are down 0-2...so I've been procrastinating.

Random Phoenix Post

I'm sitting in Phoenix right now where the weather is beautiful and I'm trying not to celebrate too loudly because my Spurs just dominated the Suns. I'm just as excited as this weatherman about a specific number...



OK, I'm not that excited, but I'm still happy about the win. In a non-creepy kinda way. Anyway, to celebrate Phoenix's demise, here's a ridiculous video of Phoenix players intertwined with soap opera clips.

Chinese MC Hammer

Quick business to get out of the way:

- I told you on Friday to watch the Suns-Spurs match up and it didn't disappoint. The first game had an NCAA tourney style feel with a bonus 3 pointer from Tim Duncan.



- Here is a simulation of a conversation I have had like 6 times this weekend:
"Random Person: Question - Is that Kobe commercial real?
Me: Answer - False."

That's real life ladies and gentlemen. Do you really think that Kobe or the Lakers or his agent or the shoe company or anyone who understands how much Kobe is worth right now (the NBA will make millions with him in the playoffs) would actually tell him to go jump a speeding car? I could write a whole post about this.

- There's only one pick I'd like to change after watching the first games: Utah wins in a sweep. Also, Jon, if it makes you feel any better, Utah threw that game in San Antonio last week because their playoff seeding was a lot better that way.

- Wheezy said in the comments that there were Hammer pants one of the videos (its the LeBron one) and that reminded of this video. So here's an awesome MC Hammer dance by some Asian kid in his living room (while his mom sows and doesn't flinch?!?)



Have a good week.

Skeet Thrower NBA Playoff Preview: First Round

Well, its my 3rd favorite time of the year: the NBA playoffs. 40+ nights of good basketball, the return of good weather, the usually awesome season finale period of TV shows, and what used to be the end of school (but is now just the end of school for Shorty which is still cool because she stays up later than 9:30 pm during the summer) all add up to be a pretty bad ass time.

Soooooo, I've decided to give you my NBA playoff preview. Its a round-by-round format, so there will hopefully be a few more of these later. Fortunately, I won't really talk to much about basketball - it will be all about internet videos with some basketball sprinkled in.

Eastern Conference

Boston (1) vs. Hotlanta (8)

This one's pretty easy, Boston should roll, probably in a sweep. Here's the evidence:

Boston:



Atlanta:



Given that, how could you not pick Boston? That's what I thought.

Detroit (2) vs. Illadelph (7)

You may or may not remember, but about 3 years ago we saw the exact same match up. The Pistons will win this in 5, maybe 6 if they get bored (but let's be honest, without Allen Iverson, the Sixers are F'd). Or if Andre Igoudala drops a chicken noodle soup dance on them.

Detroit:



Phili:



Orlando (3) vs. Toronto (6)

Orlando will win this, but only because they have Superman on their team. This one could be close though. If you want to see some monster dunks, watch Orlando; if you want to see an NBA team with 5 white guys on the floor at the same time, watch Toronto.

Orlando:



Toronto:



That Chris Bosh stuff does make me laugh, but I'd put my money on the guy who changed all-star weekend.

Cleveland (4) vs. Washington (5)

This will be the best series in the east for the first round. Its the best basketball player in the world, LeBron James, versus 3 really good players on Washington - one of whom is a former man crush of mine, Gilbert Arenas. No one else in this series matters. I would go ahead and pick the Cavs just because I can't pick LeBron to lose in the first round.

Cleveland:



Washington:



Western Conference

The west is gonna be good top to bottom. There are going to be some awesome serieseseses here, so if you're going to watch any of the NBA playoffs, I would recommend watching these.

LA Lakers (1) vs. Denver (8)

Kobe is on the Lakers, so I'm not picking against them in the first round. Plus Denver doesn't play defense. Plus Denver's best player (Carmelo Anthony) just got picked up for a DUI. Plus, if you believe the NBA is rigged at times, LA is the 2nd biggest TV market. Just saying.

Lakers (I'm including this video because it is all over the Internets right now):



Denver:



New Orleans (2) vs. Dallas (7)

I hate Dallas (the team not the city), so I'm going to go with New Orleans. If you want a real reason, its because Dallas always chokes. Always. Always. This series should be a lot of fun to watch though.

New Orleans:



Dallas (keep in mind this is their best player):



San Antonio (3) vs. Phoenix (6)

You know the story about an older brother who beats a younger brother at everything and even when the younger brother gets good at something, the older brother comes in and beats them at it, and so the younger brother ends up all pissed off but the older brother just laughs. So the younger brother goes and gets dad to team up on the younger brother to try and win it all. That's the Spurs (older brother) and the Suns (younger brother). There will not be a more competitive series this entire post season. Watch this.

San Antonio (with sweet crappy local commercial flair!):



Phoenix:



Utah(4) vs. Houston (5)

Thanks to the clusterfuck that is the NBA there is a team in Utah that is named the Jazz. Normally, his would be enough to make me pick against them - fortunately for them, they are playing the weakest team in the playoffs. Utah wins in 6, even though they should sweep (but they won't because they suck on the road).

Utah (here's the most awkward interview, all time):



Houston (this video is of the Rockets trying to imitate their teammate, Dikembe Mutumbo):



Have a good weekend.

I Hate The WNBA

I usually go work out fairly early after work. But, last night, I decided to go work out late. Usually I work out late. This meant several things, but only a couple that are pertinent to this post: 1) I watched the 6pm SportsCenter and 2) I saw the 10pm SportsCenter at the gym.

Normally, this would be a good thing, especially on the heels of a fantastic NCAA national championship game Monday. Instead, I was force fed Tennessee women's basketball and, more specifically, Candace Parker. Now I have talked about the WNBA before, but let me clarify something - I am not against women's athletics, or even women's basketball for that matter. I just hate that the its being shoved down my throat by the NBA and ESPN.

Just stop selling it to me as the same game. Don't say "We Got Next," don't include them in the All-Star weekend or dunk contests, and don't tell me that the Tennessee women's basketball team could beat the best male high-school basketball team - they couldn't (side note, there's a reason those college squads get guys for their practice squads).

Honestly, women's basketball not exciting to watch unless you know someone on the team. Watching the WNBA/NCAAWBB is like watching Nascar for the wrecks - its only awesome when you get things like this picture happening. Fortunately, there's other people that think like me.



Sorry for the rant. It's a little early this year, but only because I'm preparing for the onslaught of WNBA commercials that are going to come with the NBA playoffs. To make up for it, here's an awesome Kiss Cam video



(I don't remember where I got both of these videos, but I'm pretty sure it was Basketbawful, an awesome NBA blog if you're into that sorta thing.)

I Can Do Some Damage To Some Fried Chicken...

I was gonna write about Will Ferrell's new movie Semi-Pro, but I decided that it has been marketed to high-hell and whether you think you'll like/see the movie or not, you're probably tired of hearing about it.

So, today I'll take a different twist on Semi-Pro. Semi-Pro focuses on an earlier age of basketball. Some would call this a Golden Age - I'm not so sure. Don't get it twisted, I love old-school bball (and to be honest, I try to play like I'm an old school PF), but I'm a firm believer that Jordan changed everything for the better. Combine that with the fact that there hasn't been a more competitive, high-quality level of basketball in the NBA (at least in the west and the top of the east) for as long as I can remember (Seriously. Just look at the standings).

But I digress. The best part of old school hoops were the commercials (with a close 2nd being the crazy hair and the short shorts coming in dead last). There were some awesome ones (even if some of them perpetuated a negative stereotypes).

Don't know what I'm talking about? Just watch these today's videos. I have a couple fried chicken commercials from the late 80's/early 90's and a PSA from 1992. I won't say much about them other than I enjoyed them.

The first commercial is a Hardee's - remember, there were Hardee's in the 80's - commercial featuring Karl Malone (who knew Hardee's made fried chicken?). There's a boring commercial on the 2nd half, so don't worry about that one.



I really wish he would have said "Did you know how big their breasts are?" instead of "Did you know how big their pieces are?". That would have been classic (he does call out KFC's little breasts though). Just to let you know, I am going to start using the phrase "Do Some Damage To" a lot more now. Just be ready.

The second commercial features Magic Johnson. I shouldn't have to tell you that, but I will just in case.



Of course, you know bad filming wasn't relegated only to commercials. The 90's had a couple good PSAs featuring NBA players as well. Here's one featuring Chris Mullin, Tyrone Hill and MC Hammer.



Have a good weekend.