Monday, July 23, 2007

Ninjas Don't Dance, They Boogie

It has been a long time since I've written a ninja post. What better way to make up for that than by writing a post celebrating true American Japanese heroes. Those crazy Japanese give us all kinds of crazy shit, but the best is clearly ninjas (with a close second being video games). Some people are afraid of ninjas; I, however, know that as long as ninjas are dancing like this, we're ok.

You may be asking yourself "What happened to ninjas? I mean, outside of the Ninja Turtles, I haven't seen a ninja in years!" Well, ninjas liked to maintain a secret identity but in the age of the Internets, that was going to be too hard. Instead they trained celebrities to be ninjas because no one would suspect them to be ninjas. Don't believe me? Let's check it out.

It started with Bruce Lee, who may have actually been a ninja. I'm not sure. In any case, let's take a look at his ninja prowess - here is one of his imitators, Bruce Li battling a Gorilla.

Bruce Lee was a little too obvious, so they decided to teach another actor, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Of course, they had to train Arnold in a different type of ninjitsu. Let's take a look at Arnold's ninja abilities as we watch him fight a bear.

You know, it appears that ninjas only fight other animals. Shredder always fought the Turtles, Bruce Li is fighting a gorilla, Arnold is taking on a bear...maybe Michael Vick is a ninja.

Unfortunately, since I've uncovered their scheme, they have had to go to someone even more unsuspecting, Trishelle (NSFW) from Real World Las Vegas.

God help us if that's who the ninjas are picking as their successors. I guess they don't really care because the future of ninjas is apparently robots like Optimus Prime.


Ross said...

Those Japanese are crazy. I check out Japan Probe from time to time to get my fill of crazy Japanese shenanigans.

LauraJean said...

They used to teach ninjutsu to anyone.