Casual Dress Friday: Scary Ass Violin Player

Its a Casual Dress Friday and today you're going to get a first-class seat on the thought train of the Double M here at the Skeet Thrower. So get ready for a journey.

Last night was my company's Christmas party and despite there being free booze I didn't even have any alcohol I only had one small glass of champagne. But I still had a great time. Part of that has to do with the fact that I like the people I work with, but the other reason is because one of the interns brought in Rock Band. This was my first experience with Rock Band, and I immediately jumped in on the drums. Which was awesome. I'm thoroughly disappointed this game isn't on the Wii.

Anyway, I began thinking what other instruments they could begin using for instruments and then I thought how preposterous it would be to have something like Orchestra Hero with things like flutes and violins. I wasn't convinced that violins could really play any music that I'd want in a video game; however, so I went to the Internets where I found this video.



I was blown away with the music, but I was distracted because that violin chick seemed very familiar to me. I watch a lot of NBA All-Star stuff but I didn't remember her from there. Then it came to. That's the freaky violin chick from Twista's Overnight Celebrity (I remember that video because it was on every morning when I was an intern at NI). Just watch the intro to this music video and you'll see what I'm talking about.



I do not want to be a part of any video game that involves that chick. No sir. That said, if the video game did contain this sweet classic music video, I'd be down.

Casual Dress Friday: Some People Are Idiots

Do you remember the first time you saw an escalator? I had to be like 3 and just amazed. But my mom said not to play on it because it could easily chop your fingers off. This, of course, made me more intrigued by them and I used to try and run up them backwards and do all kinds of stupid things. But I always knew my limits so I didn't fall down and get sucked underneath it like some crazy department-store death wheel that would spin me around and around. Apparently this girl does not know her limits.



Well done, chica. How awesome would it have been if it carried her like 5 feet higher and then she has to figure out how to get back down the escalator? I have always wanted an escalator in my house, but now I want one even more. Why? Because I would try to dupe people into that kind of situation.

Have a good weekend.

* If you click on the video and goto the YouTube page, I'm not sure why the video was titled that. I found this video and was looking for a shorter version and stumbled on that. Honestly.

Casual Dress Friday: Prepare to Be Seduced

Its a Casual Dress Friday here at the Skeet Thrower and its been a while since I've brought you a classic music video. So here today is Snoop Dogg's "Sensual Seduction."



Did I say classic? I meant that's brand new. That Snoop video just is just like Michael Jackson's video "Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough" only it was filmed with a $100 budget by some high school AV Team. I could have filmed produced a better video with my digital camcorder and Windows Movie Maker. At least the song's catchy (unlike some other atrocious pop music over the last year or so). Honestly, though, there are some very similar things in that Snoop video and the MJ video I was talking about. Look for yourself.



Give Michael some girls and you've got the same video. On a side note, it's too bad they don't include the "Mama-say, Mama-saw, Mama-ma-ku-sa" ad lib in the video.

Have a good weekend.

Casual Dress Friday: Top 10: The Office

It's a Casual Dress Friday and I am really sad that we could be losing The Office way earlier than we need to. So, here are two Top 10 videos from The Office that always make me laugh. They are kinda long, so I'll be short on the text.

The first is the Top 10 That's What She Said moments.



The second are the Top 10 songs sung on the show.

Casual Dress Friday: Balky's Got Magic

Well, its a Casual Dress Friday here at the Skeet Thrower and after last week, I decided that I would not be making the (however long the drive is) trip to Lawrence, KS this weekend. Mainly because I didn't want to see this guy light us up. Then I found out that he's not even their starting quarterback. And I still decided not to go. Turns out I don't want to go watch a team I don't respect beat us. Why can't I respect an 8-0 team? Because this is an actual picture they ran on their website after they started 4-0.

Seriously, my computer is honestly humming extra loud since I loaded the picture of that fatty. Anyway, the plust side to not going to Lawrence is that I get to have a relaxing weekend: catch up on TV, watch some football and watch some videos on the Internets. Honestly, I've just been starring stuff in my reader...I'll finally have a chance to catch up on some stuff.

Now, enough boring chat - here's a video:



That video is random, yet awesome. How come The Fridge gets his own GI Joe? I have no clue. You may think this video is out-of-nowhere, but its topical considering the item I shared in my shared feed. What's a shared feed? Basically, its stuff that I find pretty funny but that I don't write about here. You can basically let me filter out even more of the Internet for you. You can either check over on the left sidebar every time you come to the site or you can just use this link to get the feed directly to a reader of your own.

But I digress...the whole point of today's post was supposed to be about the old-school TGIF lineup with shows like Family Matters and Step-By-Step. At the peak, I remember a show called Perfect Strangers was a closer (did you know that Family Matters was a spin-off from Perfect Strangers - Harriett Winslow was the elevator woman in the Perfect Strangers' guys' building). So, what better way to close today's post than a ridiculous video from a Perfect Strangers Halloween episode.

Casual Dress Friday: What I'm Doing At Work Next Week

It's a Casual Dress Friday here at the Skeet Thrower and even though I'm on vacation, I thought I'd let you know what I'm looking forward to next week at work.



Have a good weekend.

Casual Dress Friday: Lazy Post

It's a Casual Dress Friday and I have been spending the majority of my nights this week trying to find a suitable, original costume for our early Halloween party this week. I've been thinking about it too much and now I have no ideas. In any case, it has finally caught up to me and now I'm posting a follow-up post to yesterday.

You remember yesterday when Conan went off about the fire alarm? Here's the follow-up to that.



You remember yesterday when I talked about how SNL is starting to get a little funny again. Well here's an old-school Barkley skit that's way funnier than the one they did this week.


How creepy does Chris Farley seem there. I'm not sure that its very funny (mainly because it features Rob Schneider) but Charles Barkley's choke-hold makes me laugh every time (and its still funnier than anything Keenan can do).

The best part of yesterday may have been a point brought up in the comments, as to whether 30 Rock has crested The Office in funniness. I will agree that the hour long episodes and new character directions have brought them closer together, but I'm not sure which one is funnier. I'll think about it this weekend. In any case, both Shorty and I have found ourselves playing the screen saver game which The Office nailed.

Casual Dress Friday: No Longer Will Sticking It In Be Allowed

It's a Casual Dress Friday and I'm gonna fill you into a little secret about myself: I don't follow Virginia Tech football. I never really disliked or liked them, but I always rooted for them to beat those bastards down at Miami. Obviously, I knew about the pre-dogfighting Vick brothers, Frank Beamer's face and their special teams, but not much else. One rumor I had heard about Virginia Tech football home games was that fans would chant "Stick it In" in goal line situations. I never really believed it though, and I assumed that, even if it did happen, it was a small portion of people. Well, thanks to a sweet find from The Wizard of Odds I now have proof that this happens.



It turns out that the band actually plays a song called "Stick It In" that people would chant with. Impressive (Nebraska band, you should be taking notes).

Unfortunately, I will never get to experience this tradition as Virginia Tech administration has outlawed sticking it in because they deem it lude. Bush league, VT. Real bush. I guess I'll have to go to Oregon. What's next, are you going to be eliminating your sensitivity training?



See what happens? If you tell people they can't stick it in, then they're gonna find other ways to express themselves. Next thing you know, you're gonna end up with guys like this that graduate from your university.



Ok, so I have no clue whether he graduated from VT, in fact, I would guess he didn't, but he is in Bowling Green, KY which is close enough. Fortunately, I am now distracted by ridiculous news clips like this from the World Wide Leader.



I guess that's not so much ridiculous as it is a blooper. I'm impressed that ESPN doesn't run on a tape delay to catch stuff like that. You'd think everyone would run on at least a little tape delay, lest something like this should happen.



Ah, yes. Nothing like a little Chuck Storm to finish out the week.

Have a good weekend.

Casual Dress Friday: Where Did Carlton Alfonso Go?

Its a Casual Dress Friday and its been a crazy last 24 hours for me. Here's a list of the things I've done:

1. Watched Shorty move from healthy, to deathly ill, to OK, to sick


2. Realized that I made one of the biggest mistakes of my life in the last few months


3. Finally broken ground on a top-secret project that will change our (yes, that's you and me) lives forever


4. Redesigned the blog, a whole 10 posts ahead of schedule (theres a column on the left side now!)

See? I've been very busy. And that list doesn't even factor in the start of the college football or NFL seasons this week or my brother getting married last weekend. Busy times!

You know what I like to do when I get busy and feel like I don't have enough energy? Stay up a little later than I should and mix in some old-school Fresh Prince featuring former man-crush Will Smith.

Most of the time that cheers me up. But last night my mind drifted off on Carlton Alfonso Ribeiro. On a side note, until today I always thought it was Riveiro, not Ribeiro, huh. How did a talent like this just drift off into the sunset? He was clearly a higher profile guy than Will Smith going into that show - so how did he fall off. If nothing else, I guarantee you that he had more street cred thanks to dances like this.



That scene right there may have very well propelled the next few years of Carlton's Alfonso's life. He got a record deal featuring the single Dance Baby, was featured in a Pepsi commercial with Michael Jackson and wrote a book in which he discusses how to break dance (it even comes with a fold-out breaking board and a soundtrack). Here's the advertisement for the book.



I want to know how many people that couldn't/shouldn't dance, bought "Breakin' and Poppin'" and tried to learn to dance (and rap). Let's be honest, I would have been one of those people. For $19.95, I'm upset I missed out on that hot-ass deal...I just tried calling that number from the commercial. No one answered. If you get through, let me know.

So, Carlton Alfonso was on TV, had a MTV commercial, a CD and a book deal all 5-10 years before Will Smith even appeared on TV. So how come no one thinks of Carlton Alfonso anymore. I mean, he was in an Andy Williams Christmas Special. He could have had his own Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade Float. How come he's not in feature films or making CD's called Big Carlton Alfonso Style? I guess we'll never know.

If nothing else, couldn't some one get Carlton Alfonso on the newest edition of DWTS? I mean Kelly from 90210 (it looks like Brian Austin Green should have watched "Breakin' and Poppin'") is on there and she was a shady biatch when she stole Dillon from Brenda (not that I hold a grudge or anything).

Update: I just put my check in the mail and mailed it to that Breakin' and Poppin' address. I expect to receive my book pronto or else I'm coming for you Carlton Alfonso.

Have a good weekend.

Casual Dress Friday: Construda and Some Koolaid

It's a Casual Dress Friday here at the Skeet Thrower and you may have noticed a few changes around here. Most notably, there's a new sweet graphic at the top of the Skeet Thrower, brought to you by my boy Wheezy. I love it. Gracias, senior.

There's going to be a few more changes over the next week leading up to a pretty hefty overhaul by the 200th post. If you check in the late night (our animation has really improved since then, huh.), you may see the blog in shambles - that's when I'm doing the work. Don't worry, it will all be better by the morning (or a couple hours - whatever is first).

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Anyway, over the past week I have participated in 3 fantasy football drafts. Three (Holy nuts! Call me Paul Ruud from Knocked Up). Fortunately there's either 10 or 12 teams in each league, so the research I do should be applicable across all of my leagues, so the Skeet Thrower shouldn't suffer. Of course, fantasy drafts (none of which were in person, by the way - proving that this Craigslist entry was not for me) mean one thing - the NFL is around the corner. And that means its time for some wacky NFL news. But rather than rehash some worn-out Michael Vick story lines or make fun of another Bengal getting arrested, I wanted to take a look at one of the good guys in the NFL: Lawrence "Koolaid" Maroney. Why Koolaid you ask? Because of this picture:



If you can't figure it out from the picture, that's a Koolaid emblem at the bottom of his chain. Lawrence Koolaid Maroney is also his name on his (possibly fake) TheFacebook.com page where his quotes include:

“wash u ass”
“bout time we got some construda in dis [redacted]”
"Your ass backwards if you chase hoes, chase the cheese they come with the shit."

So maybe this detracts from the whole "good guy in the NFL" thing, but I made that up anyway. With respect to his comments, I was intrigued, as I had no clue what construda was. So, I turned to the definitive source - UrbanDictionary. Unfortunately, they did not have any information. Now, there are several entries (and a blog), none of which really seem to adequately define Construda. Guess I'll have to go to my rugged sources on that one. In the meantime, here's a peewee versus mascot football game where the Atlanta Falcon mascot (I assume) decides to make up for all of Vick's animal cruelty on some kids.



Special thanks to Deadspin and Kissing Suzy Kolber for the football related links and pics.

Casual Dress Friday: No, You Make Me Suicidal

It's a Casual Dress Friday here at the Skeet Thrower and if you're not deaf and you listen to music on the radio, you've heard Beautiful Girls by Sean Kingston. This song is atrocious. Ok, it wasn't so bad at first, but between being kinda annoying and tremendously overplayed...let's just say I swear and change the radio station every time I hear it. I don't understand how someone can take a brilliant song like Stand By Me (originally sung by Ben E. King, by the way) and make me want to punch someone when I hear it. I don't understand how this situation could get any worse.

Well, thankfully somehow, JoJo has found a way. She has a "response" to Sean Kingston also entitled Beautiful Girls (the rarely used crap link!). The lyrics of the hook are as follows:

I'm way too cool for ya boy
Thats why it'll never work
I'll have you suicidal, suicidal
When I say its over
Damn all us beautiful girls
We're only gonna do ya dirt
We'll have you suicidal, suicidal when we say its over

You can't do a response to a non-diss song, JoJo. But in case you wanted to know, you do make me suicidal, but its not because you're beautiful you crazy jailbait queen (do you know that she released a song named How to Touch a Girl - that was a precarious search), its because your song makes me want to drive off of the bridge I drive over every day.

Speaking of taking a dive - here's a video from ESPN's X Games that you're gonna see everywhere today. This dude does some crazy jump/spin thing, comes up the ramp/half-pipe, loses his board and falls like 50 feet...and walks away. Nutso.



My first reaction was to laugh like Stewie, then I was like "Holy Nuts" (and I felt like I needed to go to church) then I got bored so I hit fast-forward to see the ending. Impressive that he just walks away.

While I'm on the topic of ESPN, I finally got to watch the intro to the ESPY's last night, which it good because now I get to post this ridiculous picture from that night. In case you don't know, that's scary chick Serena Williams, and Shorty's BCS Top 5 member Andy Roddick. I'm not sure what she's laughing at there, but I'm pretty sure that she's just laughing at something on (or maybe just directly at) Andy's cod piece. Maybe Andy had whatever trophy this girl (Christie Kerr) was kissing hanging out of his pants.



Have a good weekend.

Ninjas Don't Dance, They Boogie

It has been a long time since I've written a ninja post. What better way to make up for that than by writing a post celebrating true American Japanese heroes. Those crazy Japanese give us all kinds of crazy shit, but the best is clearly ninjas (with a close second being video games). Some people are afraid of ninjas; I, however, know that as long as ninjas are dancing like this, we're ok.



You may be asking yourself "What happened to ninjas? I mean, outside of the Ninja Turtles, I haven't seen a ninja in years!" Well, ninjas liked to maintain a secret identity but in the age of the Internets, that was going to be too hard. Instead they trained celebrities to be ninjas because no one would suspect them to be ninjas. Don't believe me? Let's check it out.

It started with Bruce Lee, who may have actually been a ninja. I'm not sure. In any case, let's take a look at his ninja prowess - here is one of his imitators, Bruce Li battling a Gorilla.



Bruce Lee was a little too obvious, so they decided to teach another actor, Arnold Schwarzenegger. Of course, they had to train Arnold in a different type of ninjitsu. Let's take a look at Arnold's ninja abilities as we watch him fight a bear.



You know, it appears that ninjas only fight other animals. Shredder always fought the Turtles, Bruce Li is fighting a gorilla, Arnold is taking on a bear...maybe Michael Vick is a ninja.

Unfortunately, since I've uncovered their scheme, they have had to go to someone even more unsuspecting, Trishelle (NSFW) from Real World Las Vegas.



God help us if that's who the ninjas are picking as their successors. I guess they don't really care because the future of ninjas is apparently robots like Optimus Prime.

Casual Dress Friday: Dresser Doesn't Rhyme With Baretta

It is a Casual Dress Friday here at the Skeet Thrower, and today may actually be the first time that I've actually been more casually dressed on a Friday than I usually am. Today, I tried to buy kolatches or breakfast tacos to celebrate my first week at my new jobby-job. Turns out Lincoln doesn't have either anywhere. What. The. Fuck. That's bush, Lincoln. Real Bush league. If I could punch you in the face, I would.

Anyway, as you know, when I'm not looking for delicious breakfast tacos, I like to keep my ear to the streets. Of course, part of keeping my ear to the streets is keeping tabs on some of the craziest figures running around such as Mike Tyson, Daniel Artest and R. Kelly (that would be a must if it wasn't on Mad TV). R. Kelly might be my favorite because he makes such good music, but he also does ridiculous things like pee on underage chicks.

One thing R. Kelly did that was ludicrous was the Trapped in the Closet music video thing. That was absurd. If you haven't seen it (although I'm not sure how you missed it), you can catch the first 5 parts on that link (but I don't recommend it). That said, the unintentional comedy of TITC is hard to match. Fortunately, the DVD commentary (there was a DVD?) added by R. Kelly has really added to it. But before you watch it, I want you to say two words: "Dresser" and "Baretta."



I like how he keeps looking over his shoulder like "Hey, hey, this is a good part. Watch this!" Also, I've been known to do a little freestylin' (but bloggin' is the new rappin', right? Right?), so I understand trying to force a rhyme, but I just can't make the rhyme "dresser" and "baretta" work. Dres-ser. Ba-ret-ta. For as atrocious as the TITC videos are, I can't complain because they gave me one of the funniest moments from South Park all-time.



You keep your head up R. Kelly (that's what she said). Keep making comedies music videos where you are dressed ridiculously and I'll be happy.

Have a good weekend and exercise caution - it is Friday the 13th.

Casual Dress Friday: Peacing Out

Its a Casual Dress Friday here at the Skeet Thrower, and everybody should be glad I'm posting again today (three in a row!) just so that Rosie picture gets moved down. My goodness, that thing is atrocious.

Anyway, many of you may be a little nervous right now because the title includes the phrase "Peacing Out." Well, fear not, nothing's gonna stop (that's a classic song right there) me from skeet throwing; however, I am making a big life change. Today, I'm officially quiting (careful on the language with that one boys and girls) the job I've worked at since college and taking a job with some of my friends at a start-up company. Unlike that Half Baked clip, its a happy ending for me and I've already sent out a sappy email at work, so we'll skip all that here. Suffice it to say, I will miss my coworkers a lot.

I don't have a lot of regrets about leaving my job, as I have done a pretty good job of accomplishing everything I set out to do. That said, I do wish I would have incorporated more dance time into my daily routine - just like these people.



That is a prime example of why people like me shouldn't dance. But who can resist the electric slide? On a side-note, did you know that the guy who "created" the electric slide filed some crazy lawsuit claiming people should pay him for it? Back to dancing...let's be honest - the real reason I didn't dance much is because I'm lazy and out-of-shape. I get tired just typing these posts, no way I could dance everyday. In fact, here's an example of what would happen to me if I danced with any sort of regularity:



That's right, I'd rip the lid off of it get winded.

Anyway, just because I'm leaving my current job, doesn't mean I'm gonna stop skeet throwing. No, I'll keep the fire going, hopefully posting at the same rate (at least until my wife kills me for spending too much time on the internets). So, with that, I'll say adios to everyone at my first real jobby-job. Let's remember the good times and sweep the bad things under the rugs. Thanks for the memories, kids.

Have a good weekend.