America: F- Yeah

Happy 4th of July everybody!

Last year at this time, I was packing stuff up in my apartment getting ready to move from Austin, TX to Lincoln, NE. Turns out packing sucks, so this year's celebration is starting off a little better (except for the fact that I'm at work). In any case, let's celebrate by watching a ridiculous Captain America video featuring background music from Team America: World Police



Turns out those are all from the Captain America movie (who knew) from the 90's. That's real folks.

In any case, here's an awesome America Rules/England Sucks video from Jack English.



Have a great holiday and a good weekend.

Celebrate Valentine's Day with David Cross

It's Valentine's Day here at the Skeet Thrower, and so I'll assume that its also Valentine's Day for you. I hope you enjoy it/get some good candy or food. Last year, I had arguably the best Valentine's Day ever because my wife surprised me with a big screen TV. Of course, that was expensive, so this year Shorty and I are going low key and not doing anything large (that's what she said).

In any case, over the last few days I have been alternating between episodes of The Sopranos and Arrested Development at night on the previously mentioned TV. And because I think David Cross (he is Tobias Funke on AD) is funny, I figured we could enjoy a couple good David Cross videos.

First, here is the scene from Arrested Development that explains the picture above.



That line made me pee myself a little bit the first time I heard it.

I think the second video is very appropriate considering the holiday. Its a David Cross educational love song (its moderately NSFW - there is a girl in a bra).



I ain't no ho ho.

There's So Much To Do

...And so little time. With late night TV returning, I'm busy watching TV again (turns out Conan is still funnier than that idiot Craig Ferguson). Plus, I've been playing the new Wii game my wife got me for Christmas (I've included the box art on the right* so you can think about what I'm doing when I'm not on the Internets) and watching football, so I'm really busy. And by busy, I mean occupied because are you really busy when all you're doing is watching TV?

Anyway, I hope you had a good New Years' celebration. I had a good time in Austin, TX (also known as a Hellhole of Sin - that's a must for anyone from Austin), unfortunately, after the party (and the ensuing night's sleep) I had to drive back to Nebraska where I summarily lost my left testicle because it jumped off my body and ran back to weather above 0 degrees. Then I pulled up my computer and saw the 1000+ number in my reader. You'd think there's no way I'd pour through all of that, but I'd be pissed if I missed a funny video to start 2K8. Sooooo, here's a couple funny videos I found.

1) Here's Rainn Wilson (aka Dwight) having a tussle with a photographer. There's some NSFW language in there, so exercise caution. If you ever wanted to see an extended Dwight fight scene with R-rated language, this is it.



2) If you shot off fireworks for New Years, I hope you followed the safety precautions outlined in this (fake, Dutch) Islamic fireworks safety video.



That was apparently banned - I'm not sure if its because of the blatant stereotypism or the fact that everyone has gone and looked right into the heart of a maybe-lit firework wondering what is going on and people don't want to be reminded how dumb they were.

3) Also, if you didn't see the National Anthem played by a group of trombones on Fox the other day, watch the first 20 seconds of this clip.



Their name is Bonerama! How can they get away with this? I'm now going to start a band called "The Code Piece Conglomeration" or "Boxfest". Get my Rock Band set.

* There is no way in hell I'm playing this game, I just thought it was funny box art. Wait, how did this game get made? Seriously - its real.

New Years Eve: Get Your Boogie On

I haven't said much about it, but I'm rocking it here in the ATX, visiting my parents (unfortunately, this meant I missed some quality Wheezy time in Omaha). The last time we visited we didn't really see them, so this time Shorty and I have spent more time with them and taken it kinda easy.

But tonight is New Year's Eve, only one of the best party nights in over the 365 day year and Shorty and I are going to a party at one of our friends' places. The awesome part was my mom asking me if we were going to go to a party (I said yes) and she was like "OK, good. Your dad and I have been invited to a couple parties and wanted to make sure that you two weren't going to be bored at home." Thanks, mom.

Anyway in preparation for New Years Eve, here are some dance moves you can bust out tonight - it the Superbad sance intro performed masterfully by a couple of chicks.



This video is an exact reason why I love the Internets. Previously, this talent would have been wasted on a few friends, maybe a home video or a a talent show. Instead, now, it is getting burn on YouTube and FunnyOrDie as well as the all-important Skeet Thrower. They even have the video split-screened so you can see how well they performed it. Bonus: both of those videos are right at 1:05, so you can even watch them at work without feeling remotely guilty.

Also, while I'm on the subject of getting your groove on, here's a video of Will Ferrell giving us a little more cowbell with Queens of the Stone Age on SNL. This actually happened and I'm not sure how I've missed it (although I feel like I've seen this before). If you ever wanted to know what Will Ferrell would have looked like if he played the cowbell for more that 30 seconds, this is your chance.



I'm not sure how anyone on that stage held it together. Jimmy Falon couldn't in the damn skit...

Have a safe New Year's, everybody (and don't do be a derka by drinking and driving, honestly). I'll be traveling tomorrow so hopefully I'll be back by Wednesday or Thursday.

See you in 2K8.

Merry Christmas...

...or however you choose to celebrate the birth of our Lord Jesus Christ.

I hope you enjoy your day. As another basketball related present to you, here are the Houston Rockets singing attempting to sing Jingle Bell Rock. Unfortunately its a little out of sync, but I still wanted to post it.



I really with that was in sync, although it looks pretty funny anyways.

In other news, you may also remember my Christmas post from last year, well, the entire Star Wars Christmas Special on YouTube again. Keeping with my Christmas tradition, here's a clip from that show (this time with ridiculous Wookie subtitles).



I think Princess Leia was giving Chewie a handskie...

Merry Christmas.

Christmas Eve: Make You Feel Good About Yourself

It's Christmas Eve here at the Skeet Thrower and I've still got time to post. Anyway, I hope you have a great holiday and fatten yourself up. I probably will.

Anyway, my gift to you this year is to help you feel good about yourself. No matter how long good you consider yourself at basketball, know that you probably shoot freethrows better than this guy.



And he's an NBA player. My favorite part of that video may be the crowd's reaction with Iverson's laughing coming in second. How do the refs not laugh at that? I have no clue. That shot is a train wreck.

Merry Christmas.

Jingle Bells Remix

I was gonna save this for later, but I want to get it out before its everywhere. Here is a remix featuring Rasheed Wallace, Jason Maxiel and a couple scrubs from the Detriot Pistons singing Jingle Bells. For some reason the beginning part makes me laugh hard.



Big People, Little People Everybody...

Did You Know Hanukkah Started Yesterday?

Well, thanks to the lack of new TV, I have no new TV on my DVR so I just watched a Jay Leno episode from what had to be the early 90's. No leather couches (just uncomfortable looking chairs), David Copperfield as a guest (and bragging about banging Cindy Crawford) and Leno with hair worse than this. Anyway, you learn some interesting things when there's no TV on. For instance, I just learned that Hanukkah started yesterday. All I really knew about Hanukkah came from Adam Sandler and 8 Crazy Nights...so not much. I've been saving a video just for this occasion, so here's a video of some NBA stars demonstrating their knowledge of Hanukkah.



That's right, keep 'em torched.

Give Me the Gold

Before I get going today, I want to thank everyone for the birthday wishes (I even got a birthday post). It seems like just yesterday that I was writing this post thanking everyone for my birthday last year. On a side note, there's a good Siete de Augusto (that's my birthday in Spanish) reference after Flight of the Conchords sing in this video.

Now that I'm 24, I decided that I would look back over some older videos to see if I still thought they were funny, even though I'm a year older. So, yesterday I watched a bunch of older videos - turns out they are still funny. One that I laughed at really hard for some reason is the Leprechaun video.



Undoubtedly, almost everyone has seen that and the corresponding music video. I want the gold. These people are crazy and they are from the south, and, since I grew up in the south, I knew there had to be more crazy videos on the internets about people from the south. Sufficiently distracted (the guy in that video used to be a big-shot with Diddy - he's fallen off big-time), I began searching for something. Lo and behold, I came across James the narcoleptic tree cutter.



I'm not sure whether that's funny or scary. Ok, let's be honest - that's hilarious. How can you not be dead if you're narcoleptic (the dog in that video is named Skeeter!) and you climb trees? How has he not cut off his leg/arm/head yet? These are the questions that we need to have answered and whenever I can't figure something out, I turn to people who are older than I to help me solve the question. Of course, I'm not really sure who to turn to when I find out that my elders made/watched this movie.



First of all, let's get something straight. I don't turn to people that are older than me, I turn to the Internets. Second, what is that movie? Who OK'd that title? I guess that was supposed to be a comedy movie. Here's the IMDB plot summary:

Two black bounty hunters ride into a small town out West in pursuit of an outlaw. They discover that the town has no sheriff, and soon take over that position, much against the will of the mostly white townsfolk. They raise hell, chase women, and milk the locals for cash, while waiting for the opportunity to get their man.

My favorite part of that clips is when Fred Williamson kisses that chick and says "That's to satisfy your curiosity." Well done, sir - curiosity satisfied.

Transformers: True American Heroes

Happy 4th of July everybody! Since it is a holiday, I'll keep it short. Yesterday, I saw Live Free or Die Hard. It was awesome; a perfect mix of action and cheesy story. If you enjoy bald, older men or the guy who got crushed by the fat cheerleader in Dodgeball. then I highly recommend it

Anyway, a movie that actually came out this week is Transformers. I used to love Transformers when I was younger and my parents still have all of my old Transformers toys boxed up. Anyway, one of the biggest reasons I used to love Transformers was because of the genious cartoon. So, what better way to celebrate the 4th and my love for Transformers than watching a clip of the Korean version of the show. Nevermind. That video was too painful. You can watch it on that link. Instead, watch Stephen Colbert's Korean music video.



I think that is actually the same guy doing the voices for everything. It is painful. Please tell me you didn't make it through all of that. Sorry if you did - its not even that funny, its more absurd. To make up for it, here is a link to a collection of Megan Fox picture articles. Who's Megan Fox? She's in Transformers. See, it all ties together. Here's a video of her on one of my favorite shows, Two and a Half Men.



Have a good 4th.

National Anthem Disasters

Happy Memorial Day everybody. I love Memorial Day because its not a busy holiday and no one really ever makes plans so it turns into a real day off. So, since its a holiday, I'll keep it short today.

Anyway, what better way to celebrate Memorial Day than by taking a look at people who have butchered the Star-Spangled Banner. Some of these are real trainwrecks. To help avopid them in the future, I have created a few key rules that you should follow when singing/preparing to sing The National Anthem.

Rule #1: Don't Be Canadian.

This one should be pretty straight-forward. I don't sing your, you don't sing mine. Perhaps a video will help explain (make sure you make it to the end).



That was God/karma attack. Don't screw with The Anthem.

Rule #2: Know the f---ing words.

I'm looking at you, Michael Bolton. You were born in America - how do you mess this up? Its not that hard. Holy nuts.



Rule #3: Just sing the Anthem.

This one is a tough rule. I understand that you want to add your own flair to the song. That's fine. Just don't go overboard. I'll let Carl Lewis (sorry no video) explain this one for us.



Honestly, people. It isn't that hard. If you want a good example, watch this from Whitney Houston (sorry, anytime I mention her, I have to show that video...its a rule). Of course, I'll make an exception for non-professional minors. I'll end the today's post with mistake that has a heart-warming ending thanks to a save by Mo' Cheeks.



Have a good holiday.

Week In Recap: It's Easter

It is Sunday which means it is time to recap last week. Overall, it was a rough week. First, Wheezy said that he is scaling back is hilarious comics. Then, Florida went ahead and won another championship, screwing my brackets. Then Gilbert Arenas died messed up his knee. Then at the Masters, everyone sucked. That damn sport is hard enough to watch as is, let alone when everyone is golfing like me.

Of course, it all turned around yesterday, as I went to an all-you-can-eat BBQ place. Good times. Plus, today is Sunday, and Entourage returns today. Plus it is Easter and I get to have good family time with my Austin family...and I get to show you this Easter related video.



Onto the recap:

On Wednesday, I was all over the place - but the main thing was that Shandi lost, slowing my plan of Woolery taking over the PIR.

On a Casual Dress Friday, I talked about Gilbert Arenas getting injured and showed you a guy singing the Alf theme.

My friend Kevin sent me an email (apparently some people haven't figured out that there's a comments section yet) that pointed out that the guy that sand the Alf theme may actually be a younger version of Joe Jackson. Who is Joe Jackson? I have no clue, but he did sing this song that will be stuck in your head. As a bonus, its a kinda crappy video.



Have a good week.