Shaq Rapping Madness

If you have checked out the Internets or ESPN over the last 24 hours, you have probably seen this video which showed up sometime Monday morning. TMZ released a video of Shaq freestyle rapping a diss about Kobe, and since I love hip-hop, freestyling, and the Association, I'm pretty sure I need to post it.



That is nasty. It's too bad he doesn't go after Kobe more on that one because I'm pretty sure that would have made it better. That had to be one the of happiest moments of big guy's life. Well done. Of course, this isn't the first time, Shaq has done a "freestyle" diss either. Here's one of him taking on Vlade "The Godfather of Flopping" Divac.



At this point, you may be asking yourself, how did Shaq get so good at freestyle rapping? The answer? Practice. And also lots of attempts. You see, much like his free throws, Shaq only connects on about 50% of his freestyles. For instance, here's another bus freestyle from the Diesel.



And if you thought that was bad, just watch this clip from the critically acclaimed movie* Kazaam.



We genies! Of course, that's not really a freestyle. But it's still awesome a rap. Side note, iIf you really liked that, you can even watch it in Spanish!

Anyway, back to the original video - Shaq was pretty good, although I wish he sh*t all over Kobe again (MADTV warning). In any case, that had to be fun to see live, and you know some promoter somewhere is trying to setup a freestyle rap battle between Kobe and Shaq right now.

* Kazaam was actually not critically acclaimed. But it did have it's own underoos!

Blogger/Office Attack

If you visit the site you're used to seeing a 3 columns thing. Well, something is wrong with Blogger and that's gone all to hell. Today the sh*t hit the fan and now my template is all jacked up. I'll fix it this weekend.

In any case, here's an office battle that you should see. The place I used to work rocked out rubberband fights and the place I currently work has nerf guns, but this is over the top and awesome.



Also, in case you didn't see, the Celtics won the NBA championship last night. It wasn't a very good game, but Garnett's speech afterwards was unreal.

Lakers Crying: Always Funny

In 2003, my Spurs beat the Lakers. That was awesome for me as a Spurs fan. As a bonus, here this was what happened at the end of that game.



Crying! Good times. Well done. In any case, after last night's debacle in the Staples center, Sasha Vujacic decided to join in on the act about 5 years too late.



That was almost as good as the first time for me...I probably laughed harder at this one. Well done, Sasha.

NBA Round 2 Preview

Well, we are now 2-3 games deep in every 2nd round playoff series, but I promised an NBA 2nd round preview, so here it is.

But before I give you the preview, I'd like to take a moment to congratulate myself on a thrilling victory in last weeks Skeet Thrower Draft on Playground Games. It is very satisfying to win a draft and I celebrated by having a glass of OJ.

Onto the preview:

Eastern Conference

Boston (1) vs. Cleveland (4)

The NBA is rigged this year so picking against the Celtics would be dumb. Not to mention the fact that the Celtics have at least 3 players that can actually play basketball at a high level while the Cavs only have one (although he's a really good one). Celtics probably win in 5, but it might go 6 if the Celtics forget to play defense on the road again. Boston's already up 2-0

Celtics (the Van Gundy part of this commercial always makes me laugh):



Cavs (this is a funny video back from when The Rock was a bad guy):



Detroit (2) vs. Orlando (3)

Detroit should win this series, earning the right to get beaten by the Celtics. Detroit is good, but not that good and this will probably go 6 or 7 games. That said, Detroit's 2nd best player justpulled his groin/hamstring, so Orlando may have a chance. I'd still go with Detroit. Detroit is up 2-1

Detroit (here's a ridiculous Detroit Pistons cartoon from a few years ago):



Orlando (here's an awesome video that I've posted before with Shaw, LeBron, and Orlando's Dwight Howard dancing):



Western Conference

LA Lakers (1) vs. Utah (4)

The Lakers don't even need the leagues assistance to beat Utah. Utah's playoff MO for the last 2 years (when they lose) is to put up one bad quarter, get down by double-digits, rally late in the 4th only to fall a few points short. This has and will happen again in this series. Plus, Derek Fisher screwed them (to be fair, he left to be closer to his family and the Jazz helped him out, but his knowledge of Utah's system is really messing with their mojo). Lakers should win in 5. Lakers lead the series 2-0

Lakers (here's an old Lakers video I've posted before...):



Utah (I may change my opinion of Jazz fans after this):



New Orleans (2) vs. San Antonio (3)

The Hornets really surprised me with how easily they beat a self-destructing Dallas team and I think the Spurs blew their load beating Phoenix. The homer in me says Spurs in 7, but the basketball guy in me says this is the worst match-up the Spurs could have gotten and the Hornets win in 6. I guess the Spurs losing wouldn't be all bad since my work may have a connection there once the season ends. Hornets lead this one 2-1

Hornets (this is an old commercial from a player on the Hornets):



Spurs (this is just a WTF video):



Here's one final video from the NBA on TNT the other night. It's been all over the place in the sports world, but its pretty funny. Charles Barkley gets duped on a teleprompter trick.

The Immature Video Post

I have two videos today that you should enjoy. They are probably just a little immature, but that fits on this website anyway (and on the heels of a couple Twitter posts yesterday, you can tell I'm not too worried about maturity).

The first is an awesome clip from TMNT 2 that someone sent me the other day. I own the first TMNT movie, but I haven't seen the 2nd TMNT movie in a long time. I didn't realize it was a different April in that one - these are the kinda things I'm expected to know. Anyway, here's an awesome clip from that movie - just wait for Splinter's line.



Of course, a brief innuendo can only be topped by this awesome Shaq clip that I found while looking for that Will Ferrell clip from the other day.



Also, yes, I know I promised a NBA round 2 preview - and one will show up - but I just can't believe my Spurs are down 0-2...so I've been procrastinating.

Random Phoenix Post

I'm sitting in Phoenix right now where the weather is beautiful and I'm trying not to celebrate too loudly because my Spurs just dominated the Suns. I'm just as excited as this weatherman about a specific number...



OK, I'm not that excited, but I'm still happy about the win. In a non-creepy kinda way. Anyway, to celebrate Phoenix's demise, here's a ridiculous video of Phoenix players intertwined with soap opera clips.

I Hate The WNBA

I usually go work out fairly early after work. But, last night, I decided to go work out late. Usually I work out late. This meant several things, but only a couple that are pertinent to this post: 1) I watched the 6pm SportsCenter and 2) I saw the 10pm SportsCenter at the gym.

Normally, this would be a good thing, especially on the heels of a fantastic NCAA national championship game Monday. Instead, I was force fed Tennessee women's basketball and, more specifically, Candace Parker. Now I have talked about the WNBA before, but let me clarify something - I am not against women's athletics, or even women's basketball for that matter. I just hate that the its being shoved down my throat by the NBA and ESPN.

Just stop selling it to me as the same game. Don't say "We Got Next," don't include them in the All-Star weekend or dunk contests, and don't tell me that the Tennessee women's basketball team could beat the best male high-school basketball team - they couldn't (side note, there's a reason those college squads get guys for their practice squads).

Honestly, women's basketball not exciting to watch unless you know someone on the team. Watching the WNBA/NCAAWBB is like watching Nascar for the wrecks - its only awesome when you get things like this picture happening. Fortunately, there's other people that think like me.



Sorry for the rant. It's a little early this year, but only because I'm preparing for the onslaught of WNBA commercials that are going to come with the NBA playoffs. To make up for it, here's an awesome Kiss Cam video



(I don't remember where I got both of these videos, but I'm pretty sure it was Basketbawful, an awesome NBA blog if you're into that sorta thing.)

Friday Video Attack!

Sorry about the lack of posts this week. Turns out I've been really busy at work and Shorty is on spring break this week so I haven't gotten anything posted. I haven't even played video games...I just sit and watch TV and sleep at home.

Anyway, congrats to Laura for winning the last week's Skeet Thrower Draft in a tight battle at the top. Her draft of Paris Hilton, Ann Coulter, Rosie O'Donnell, and Dustin Diamond brought home the victory. So she can celebrate until next week.

I was planning on writing a BCS List this week, but the aforementioned lack of time has forced me to push it back. To make it up to you, here is a ridiculous video dump of stuff I saw throughout the week.

First is a trailer for The Fist Foot Way, a movie that looks awesomely ridiculous. It contains NSFW language (thanks to Laura for the link.



Here's an awesome video of an NBA player getting the cold shoulder from his teammates. (A little back story, in the NBA after a free-throw, miss or make it doesn't matter, his teammates give him a little dap. But Andrew Bogut, an NBA player, talked some shit about the rest of the American NBA players. So apparently his teammates said "F- you" and didn't high-five him here.) He decides to improvise which is funny.



I don't comment on political stuff here and so I usually avoid political videos, but this one is too good to pass up.



I don't care whether you like Hilary or not, that video should make you laugh. I think that guy broke into J-Lo's "Let's Get Loud" at one point there. Also, and maybe it's just me, that video is in no way going to make me want to vote for Hilary... While we're looking at awesome music, you may remember the Bulgarian Idol video from a few posts ago, well, here's another one you should enjoy.



I'll be back in full force next week (maybe...hopefully - I'm going to be out of town from Tuesday - Sunday).

Have a good weekend.

NCAA Tourney Day: Music Spectacular

Well, it's NCAA tourney day and you should all be watching a lot of TV/internet video today. But if you get tired of hearing Billy Packer blab on, you might want to hear some other stuff in the background. As such, I've got a couple crazy music videos for you today.

The first is "One Gallon Axe" by White Gold. I had never heard this song or seen this video, but its kinda catchy and I laughed 10+ times due to either the lyrics or the costumes.



This video for some reason reminded me of The Darkness' video for "I Believe in a Thing Called Love," so here's that video.



To be honest, I'm not sure why I would think of The Darkness' video after seeing One Gallon Axe other than they both make me think WTF and laugh at the same time. Anyway, don't think I could have a music spectacular on NCAA Tourney Day without "One Shining Moment." So, here's last year's version.



Before I close the post, here's some last second tourney advice that I give out for free each year: Remember, Kansas always chokes. Quick, go change your bracket now. Keep this in mind when next Saturday (not this one though) you're looking at your bracket wondering how you had Kansas in the Final Four.

BCS: Man Crush List 2008

Last week I told you I was trying to find a way to stay fresh, and the Skeet Thrower Draft got a great response (be on the lookout for a new one next week). But just because you're staying fresh doesn't mean you have to throw away a staple of this blog. So, starting today, I'll be unveiling my 2008 BCS Lists. Today, the BCS Man Crush List.

Just to recap, here's the rules:

The Rules

1. Anyone, real or fictional, can be a candidate for the man-crush list. Pretty much all this means is you can't just make someone up.

And that's it. It is pretty straight forward. I want to clarify 2 things at this point:

1. I am not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that). That said, this is a man-crush list. Take it as you will.


2. The man-crush list is kept at 3 (while my other BCS lists stretch to 5).

Anyway, without further ado, here it is.

The BCS Man-Crush List

3) Joel McHale
Joel hold's down the 3rd spot again this year. The Soup was one of the only shows that consistently produced through the writer's strike and I consistently looked forward to the half-hour with him each week. Plus he's got this video which is kinda applicable to this post.



2) Rainn Wilson

His ability to portray Dwight is amazing, but its the fact that he's funny at a lot of other stuff as well that gets him on this list. I don't really have any stipulations for making this list, but the fact that I will watch anything I find with Rainn Wilson is pretty telling.

Here's a couple creepy Rainn Wilson clips that you probably haven't seen. First, Rainn on CSI.



Second, Rainn on Six Feet Under (gracias to Wheezy for the hat tip).



It shows how talented of an actor he is that he can play those roles and still do this:



1) Michael Cera
Michael Cera takes the top spot on this year's BCS Man Crush list. Much like Rainn, I watch anything and everything that features Michael Cera (including all of these videos). He tops Rainn with some solid movies like Juno and Superbad. Plus, I get a half-chub just thinking about an AD movie. Also, I love retro polos. Anyway, here's an old clip.



And that's the man crush list. Sadly I had to remove Jack Bauer (no shows and I'm not watching the DVD's again...we've just grown apart) and Gilbert Arenas because he's been injured too much and his injury last year cost me a championship. That said, Gilbert almost made it because of these ridiculous shoe commercials.





On second thought, maybe it's better that he's a runner up...

Have a good weekend.

Steve Urkel Throwback Hip Hop

You may or may not remember, but back in the early 90's HIV was a big concern. Since I was not really old enough to understand it, it didn't really affect me until Magic Johnson picked it up. All of a sudden a lot of my favorite NBA players were preaching about abstinence and safe sex (ironically, what I know now is that most of them weren't practicing either of those concepts). Anyway, one of the promo things Magic put together was called Time Out: The Truth About HIV, AIDS, and You. This thing featured all kinds of early 90's stars such as Paula Abdul, Kirstie Alley, Luke Perry (best intro video ever), and Sinbad (I saw that movie...and I wish I would have picked Sinbad in last week's draft). But the only thing I really remember from this video is Jaleel "Steve Urkell/Sonic the Hedgehog" White's rap video about not having sex.



This came out in 1992, one year before Snoop's best cd, Doggystyle. He's still churning out records...what's happened to Jaleel? He could be a dance icon with his moves...


I suppose I could also call him Jaleel "Sonic the Hedgehog" White.

I Can Do Some Damage To Some Fried Chicken...

I was gonna write about Will Ferrell's new movie Semi-Pro, but I decided that it has been marketed to high-hell and whether you think you'll like/see the movie or not, you're probably tired of hearing about it.

So, today I'll take a different twist on Semi-Pro. Semi-Pro focuses on an earlier age of basketball. Some would call this a Golden Age - I'm not so sure. Don't get it twisted, I love old-school bball (and to be honest, I try to play like I'm an old school PF), but I'm a firm believer that Jordan changed everything for the better. Combine that with the fact that there hasn't been a more competitive, high-quality level of basketball in the NBA (at least in the west and the top of the east) for as long as I can remember (Seriously. Just look at the standings).

But I digress. The best part of old school hoops were the commercials (with a close 2nd being the crazy hair and the short shorts coming in dead last). There were some awesome ones (even if some of them perpetuated a negative stereotypes).

Don't know what I'm talking about? Just watch these today's videos. I have a couple fried chicken commercials from the late 80's/early 90's and a PSA from 1992. I won't say much about them other than I enjoyed them.

The first commercial is a Hardee's - remember, there were Hardee's in the 80's - commercial featuring Karl Malone (who knew Hardee's made fried chicken?). There's a boring commercial on the 2nd half, so don't worry about that one.



I really wish he would have said "Did you know how big their breasts are?" instead of "Did you know how big their pieces are?". That would have been classic (he does call out KFC's little breasts though). Just to let you know, I am going to start using the phrase "Do Some Damage To" a lot more now. Just be ready.

The second commercial features Magic Johnson. I shouldn't have to tell you that, but I will just in case.



Of course, you know bad filming wasn't relegated only to commercials. The 90's had a couple good PSAs featuring NBA players as well. Here's one featuring Chris Mullin, Tyrone Hill and MC Hammer.



Have a good weekend.

Ron Burgundy Reemerges

I've been saving this video for a while (a slow day or a day when I don't have time to post), but I figured with Will Ferrel's new movie coming out soon, you'll get enough of him so saving it doesn't matter.

Anyway, a couple weeks back, Ron Burgundy reemerged to interview Tom Izzo, the head coach of the Michigan State Spartans men's basketball team. It's Burgundy/Ferrell, so you already know whether you'll think it's funny or not. I laughed quite a bit, if for no other reason than it was some fresh Burgundy material.



Understanding completely that Blades of Glory and Talladega Night's weren't great, I don't understand how people can be negative about Will Ferrell. He was genius on SNL, his parts in The Ladies Man, Night at the Roxbury, Old School were magic, and Anchorman is a classic in my book. I get that he's just reprising the same roles, but if it makes you laugh, why not embrace it?

The Dunk Contest Is Back

You may or may not know, but this past weekend was the Black Super Bowl (also known as the NBA All-Star game). Last year, it was in Vegas, but this year it was in New Orleans and decidedly less crazy (how many times have I linked to that post?). While the all-star game itself happens on Sunday night, the other events happen on Friday and Saturday. Now,I know not all of you are NBA freaks, so most of you probably missed most of it, so in today's post I want to show you some of the cool stuff from this weekend.

Two of the coolest basketball memories I have are the first time watching the replays of Jordan's dunk contest battles and watching the 1996 dunk contest in person. Sadly, interest (and talent and watchability of) the dunk contest has wained lately. That all changed this year. There were some really, really good dunks in this contest - good enough that the people at the party I was at, stopped to watch the dunks, and I can't tell you the last time that happened.

Anyway, I've embedded some of the best dunks below. They are really good.

The first awesome dunk of the night was by Dwight Howard (there are a few of these coming). He throws an alley-oop off the back of the backboard, does a windmill while coming from behind the glass and dunks it.



Last year's champ Gerald Green blew out a candle on the back of the rim while dunking. He only got a 44 for this dunk, but he should have gotten a 50. This was probably the coolest dunk of the night but it was really hard to see how cool it was - the replays show it though.



To end the second round, Dwight Howard donned a Superman cape and literally threw the ball through the hoop. He didn't dunk it, but it was awesome anyway.



The first dunk of the finals was by Gerald Green who caught an alley-oop and went between his legs. This is a hard dunk when you have the ball the entire time, let alone off a pass.



Green followed that dunk up with the same dunk, only he did it barefoot. It didn't matter thought because on the second dunk of the finals was by Dwight Howard bounced the ball to himself, tapped it off the backboard with his left hand and dunked it with his right. Kenny Smith describes Howard as a video game, and after seeing this, I'm not sure how you could disagree.



It was over at that point.

In any case, that Superman dunk throw through the basket by Dwight Howard was one of the coolest things I've ever seen (even if it wasn't a dunk). I don't know if he'll come back next year to defend his title, but I'm not sure how he can top his performance. That was the hardest I've ever seen a ball dunked and every time he dunked our party stopped. The feeling I got watching him reminded me of the first time one of my friends dunked in a game - it was nutso. Honestly, when I have a place to hang posters, this pic will be a poster I own.

The dunk contest is back...

Have a good week.

Drunk History Part II

I'm kinda off my game tonight. I'm not sure if I haven't completely recovered from being sick last weekend things have just been weird today. First, I couldn't focus completely at work and needed to think from home to figure out my problem. Then, we lost to an awful team at basketball tonight - I have no clue what happened but they made some lucky shots. Personally, I played like shit and that makes it more frustrating. Now I'm watching my Spurs let f-ing Jacque Vaughn lead them in shots and scoring (If you know who Jacque Vaughn is, then you have to feel bad for me, no matter whether you like the Spurs or not. If you don't know who he is, then that should only reaffirm my feelings exasperation).

To top it off, I found Drunk History Part II earlier this week on Funny or Die (you may remember my post with Part I, but now a few other website have started picking it up. It's been a crazy week. Anyway, here's part II (its not on YouTube yet, and Funny or Die is dumb and refuses to show up in a lot of readers, so you may actually have to click to the actual blizog to see it). Is it as funny as the first? No. But it does feature Jack Black and Clark Duke (the latter or Clark and Michael fame).



Oh ya, there's puking in that one too. Sorry about that. I guess its not that big of a deal - you can't even really see it. Anyway, I'm assuming I'll be back on point after the weekend. I had better be - I'm going to Vegas on Thursday (and we all know how much I love Vegas).

So, on a completely unrelated note - here's a random video called Kill 'Em with Kindness. Enjoy and have a good weekend.

The Legend of Scottie Pippen Continues

Well, after a couple of days and a few "Leave Clay Aiken Alone" emails, it looks like the blizog is still kicking. Good to know that the Claymates power has waned.

In any case, a couple of weeks ago, I showed you an awesome video of Scottie Pippen advertising a six foot sub (with bonus lack of emotion!). Well, today, I bring you the follow up - the introduction to Scottie Pippen's Sega CD(!) game, Slam City. This was a "full-motion" video game where your buttons controlled what the video did. I have no real clue though - I never played it (Did you ever even play Sega CD? Because I didn't).



There's that Scottie Pippen enthusiasm at the end. Although after listening to it a second time, I'm pretty sure he also is doing the lyrics for the theme song - at least there's a little enthusiasm there. Its too bad for Scottie that some other douche bag had the mid-90's basketball player hip-hop thing all locked up because I'm pretty sure he would have killed it there. Interpret "killed it" as you will...

HT: Cracked

It's Friday...I Think

My days have been all jacked up for quite a while. First there was Christmas time and then New Years. Plus I have traveled twice in the last few weeks and now all of a sudden it is Friday again. I have no clue how this happened. I was tired and almost didn't post, but since it was Friday, I sacked up, stepped to the plate and jacked one up (and other ridiculous statements).

Anyway, why would I be tired you ask? Well, I played organized basketball for the first time in several months (probably since I left NI). We won, and handily at that, but I definitely was rusty (I somehow got a lane violation when shooting a free throw!?! I didn't even move my feet).

So, in preparation for our game next week, I've found a few basketball instructional videos to help me out. The first one features Laker Sasha Vujacic.


* HT: Awful Announcing

Why does that instructor falls for the weakest shot fakes - he makes Sasha like
"How?...What's going on?" Also, there is a bonus tip in that video: "If you're fading away its very hard to make basketballs baskets."

If you've got two more minutes to waste, here's another random basketball video that covers dribbling, passing, wearing hats and cheering.



That would have been way cooler with a Superbad dance effect. Either way, I should be good to go for next week now.

In other news, make sure you check out Wheezy's post this week - we had a good discussion in the comments.

Have a good weekend.

This Is One Six Footer I Can't Handle...

When I was writing yesterday's post, I kept thinking: "What am I forgetting? There's something...I just can't remember. Its kinda topical. What is it?" I ended up going with the Bonerama, but I knew I was missing something. Then I saw the video roll through my reader today and I began kicking myself because I had missed it.

Anyway, here is Scottie Pippen in a Mr. Submarine commercial from about 1991.



That is 28 seconds of goodness. The graphics, cheesy cheerleaders, Scottie Pippen (who was my 3rd favorite basketball player growing up) and best of all the line "This is one six-footer I can't handle one-on-one. Ladies, let's have a party!" only instead of an exclamation point, its said with something equivalent to a negative exclamation point.

I wonder if Pippen ever looks back on his commericals and laughs...



By the way, I thought this was topical because Pippen is trying really hard to get the Bulls coaching job. I doubt it happens, but, hey, they hired Bill Cartwright.

Christmas Eve: Make You Feel Good About Yourself

It's Christmas Eve here at the Skeet Thrower and I've still got time to post. Anyway, I hope you have a great holiday and fatten yourself up. I probably will.

Anyway, my gift to you this year is to help you feel good about yourself. No matter how long good you consider yourself at basketball, know that you probably shoot freethrows better than this guy.



And he's an NBA player. My favorite part of that video may be the crowd's reaction with Iverson's laughing coming in second. How do the refs not laugh at that? I have no clue. That shot is a train wreck.

Merry Christmas.

Jingle Bells Remix

I was gonna save this for later, but I want to get it out before its everywhere. Here is a remix featuring Rasheed Wallace, Jason Maxiel and a couple scrubs from the Detriot Pistons singing Jingle Bells. For some reason the beginning part makes me laugh hard.



Big People, Little People Everybody...