Miss Universe 2007

Did you guys hear that Miss USA fell down in the Miss Universe competition (this is the same contest where Miss Puerto Rico, the winner, passed out last year)? If you didn't there's a clip here. Although I'm not sure how you didn't hear about it - it was everywhere. In any case, we all know the real reason people watch those competitions is for the bikinis (what do you think, NSFW).

What you may have missed in all of the coverage of the trip was that my boy Tony Romo was a judge. First, he bangs Carrie Underwood (she cleaned up nicely, huh), now he gets this. Dallas should be thanking God everyday that they have him because here is a video of Dallas' other mega-sports star:



One of those men was the NBA MVP last year. No wonder ratings are at an all-time low. By the way, did you guys here that Miss USA fell down at the Miss Universe competition?

Anyway, apparently the Miss Universe contest was tainted as Miss Sweden pulled out saying that these contests don't represent the modern woman (prolly NSFW). What in the hell did you think you were doing? You clearly had to win a few contests to get to this point - you waited until now to pull out? Don't you think that is a little late at this point? I mean once you get this far, it doesn't really hurt anymore to finish does it?

So, after the Miss Sweden pull out, Miss Japan (her job is: "dancer!") ended up wining the thing. Since when did we start letting the Asians beat us at anything. This is Miss Universe damnit. How do we not win this? Oh, you mean we've won the most all-time. Well, ok then, I guess.

Sadly, I didn't have the privelege of watching get to watch the Miss Universe pageant. Although, I wish I would have - did you guys hear that Miss USA tripped? My favorite part is always the Q&A (and why is it A.C. Slater not Zach Morris hosting this?), which rival the interviews given by the gladiators on American Gladiators.



Make sure you make it to the interview at the end of that clip. Outside of the interview, the best part of the clip may be the rare appearance by a backup gladiator, Bronco, who promptly gets his ass-kicked. Good times. Almost as good as Miss USA falling down - did you guys hear about that?

National Anthem Disasters

Happy Memorial Day everybody. I love Memorial Day because its not a busy holiday and no one really ever makes plans so it turns into a real day off. So, since its a holiday, I'll keep it short today.

Anyway, what better way to celebrate Memorial Day than by taking a look at people who have butchered the Star-Spangled Banner. Some of these are real trainwrecks. To help avopid them in the future, I have created a few key rules that you should follow when singing/preparing to sing The National Anthem.

Rule #1: Don't Be Canadian.

This one should be pretty straight-forward. I don't sing your, you don't sing mine. Perhaps a video will help explain (make sure you make it to the end).



That was God/karma attack. Don't screw with The Anthem.

Rule #2: Know the f---ing words.

I'm looking at you, Michael Bolton. You were born in America - how do you mess this up? Its not that hard. Holy nuts.



Rule #3: Just sing the Anthem.

This one is a tough rule. I understand that you want to add your own flair to the song. That's fine. Just don't go overboard. I'll let Carl Lewis (sorry no video) explain this one for us.



Honestly, people. It isn't that hard. If you want a good example, watch this from Whitney Houston (sorry, anytime I mention her, I have to show that video...its a rule). Of course, I'll make an exception for non-professional minors. I'll end the today's post with mistake that has a heart-warming ending thanks to a save by Mo' Cheeks.



Have a good holiday.