Attack of the Cougars

Remember a week ago when I said SNL didn't put up my favorite clips from an episode? Well, one of my favorite clips showed up on YouTube - its called the Cougar's Den. Enjoy it while it lasts.



While we're on the topic of older women, here's Hilary (she's an older woman...not a cougar though), Obama, and McCain doing promos for the WWE.



There is a reason candidates don't do this sort of thing usually - because they aren't actors. They come across flat. That said, its kinda funny to hear Obama drop The Rock's lines. Also, how much money would you pay to see McCain reread the transcript from this Hulkster rant.

Random Ridiculousness

I've got nothing today...well that's not true - I've just got a couple of random videos.

The first video is one of my childhood heroes demonstrating exactly why he shouldn't have been one of my childhood heroes.



Fortunately, that isn't the craziest video you'll see today. Here's Nicholas Cage punching a chick...while in a bear suit.



That's from the movie The Wicker Man I think. I don't know because I've never seen it. It only has a 3.5 rating on IMDB. I have to assume I'm better off watching Hulk and the WWF.

Post #200: Its Been A Long Journey

Well, I've finally made it to post #200. Finally. I've been waiting for this post for a long time (I started looking ahead to this post about 2 months ago!). Over the past 200 posts, I've had some good ideas, some great ideas and some ideas that didn't pan out so well. Just over the last 100 posts, I've moved from visiting a few websites a day to using a reader that now has over 130 subscriptions. I've also moved, started a new job, been offered to post for another blog and become waaaay less consistent in the whole posting thing.

What does all this mean for the Skeet Thrower? Nothing really. If like 5 seconds ago you were expecting a big life/blog announcement, you guessed wrong. I'll be back for more in the coming weeks almost like nothing changed. Except one thing: Something is changing.

You see, I talked with another blogger that was not Wheezy, Todd or Brandon when I was asked if I wanted to write for another blog (you'd think this was a big deal since I brought it up twice, but its not at all). His words of advice about blogging were, "Don't do it if you can't do it consistently." He, of course, was referring to both quantity and quality, and, since I have been consistently inconsistent since about June, I felt that I couldn't really do it (I wasn't sure I wanted to anyway).

But that got me thinking about all the Skeet Throwing I do here on the blizog. I don't post more than 3 times a week anymore, and when I do post, its a kinda-big undertaking because I attempt to find a bunch of links. While this is good, I feel that it can make reading my posts a burden - and no one wants skeet throwing to be a burden (and people miss half the links anyway). As a result, from post #200 on, you're going to see a new style on the Skeet Thrower. There are 2 big things that will change.

1. Post content is going to be rolled back. No longer will I include 3-4 videos plus 10+ links in each post. I'm going to roll back to about 2 videos and a couple related links as necessary. This, for most people, would be considered a bad thing. And since the skeet thrower can't leave a bad taste in your collective mouths, here's the second point.


2. I'm going to post more often - like every week day. Currently, I hope to get out 2-3 posts a week, but I'm jumping that expectation to 5-6 posts a week. So while the daily content may decrease, you should be getting more content. This will also allow me to write about a wider variety of things (its not like I'm locked in now) without feeling like I'm alienating a part of my audience by writing a post. If this were a verbal conversation, it is at this point that I'd hope you'd say "True," to which I would respond, "True" thus creating the Double True.

In any case, I hope you all will enjoy the new format. It should be better for all of us. As much as I love the Skeet Throwing, I miss the days when it only took me 20 minutes to throw something around - this 2 hour stuff kills my mojo.

At this point, you're like, "OK, MMMMMM. Friday you told us that you read too much and now were 5-10 minutes into post #200 and we're not getting a celebration, we're getting a f***ing blog novel. Can you get to some fun stuff please?" Fair enough. Although to be fair, you'd think after 200 posts you would have figured out that I can be a little wordy.

Rather than rolling post #100 styl-ee, I'm going to give you a taste of the new style with a few videos that may chronicle your thoughts throughout this post.

#1) When you realized how long this post was.



#2) Right after I said I'm scaling back my posts. I don't know what it is about this video, but I can't stop watching it. It's holy nuts.



#3) When you realized that I would be posting more (hopefully) and that there were actually videos in this post.



Change is a scary thing. I'm scared to. We'll get through this together.

Have a good week.

I Am A Real (US) American*

You may have heard that Hulk Hogan's son drove like a chick derka and crashed his car. It apparently is pretty serious (as compared to idiot, Eddie Griffin). So, what better way to cheer the Hulkster (NSF Anyone) up, than to celebrate some of the best clips of a Real US American (if you have 3 minutes, that is a true must watch - the video rivals David Hasselhoff's - and, perhaps sadly, I have listened to Hulk's video like 8 times straight while writing this). Let's begin - countdown please:



Ok, that wasn't so much of a countdown as it was a singing of the days of the week, but what do you expect from Hulk. The man has wrestled so much (and been on roids so long) - you can't expect him to know the difference between a countdown and the days of the week. But I digress, it seems that Hulk's career has been filled with all sorts of ridiculousness, like appearances on talk shows (do you remember when wrestlers used to be guests on Arsenio.) The best part of that Hulk/Arsenio clip may be the fact that Hulk says that Arsenio will be around for a long time and that Letterman sucks. He really should lay off the roids (and apparently the man meat). Of course, at times it was Hulk's ridiculous statements that made him endearing and hilarious (well, that and the fact that he was being serious). For instance, take this interview with Randy Savage, who may or may not be a hobo.



If you're like me, you spent that entire video hoping that one of those guys didn't blow a muscle/blood vein/have a brain aneurysm. Anyway, lucky for both Hulk's dignity and us, it wasn't just Hulk that said ludicrous things. Take this scene from his movie "No Holds Barred."



Weren't Hulk's movie roles/cameos the best. By the way, if you're counting, that's two Hulk music video links in one day (three if you count that days of the week/fake countdown thing). I don't know if you watched that second one, but it was broadcast from one of the WWF talk shows they used to have - with the worst acting ever (yes, worse than Hulk's). How did the WWF survive? Anyway, all these videos have made me hungry. Fortunately, Hulk can help me out with that as well.



Strange, I don't remember seeing Pastamania the last time I was in the Mall of America...

* Yes, this is a reference to one of the most ridiculous and over-covered stories. If you haven't seen the video of Miss South Carolina (Miss Teen USA 3rd-place finisher!), click here. She must have listened to Hulk's video as well.

I Know Some Guys That Can Lift More Than Kevin Durrant

I have said it repeatedly - TV in the summer sucks (and that sucks for someone who loves TV as much as me). The lack of TV forces me to watch things that I wouldn't normally watch. For instance, last weekend, while there was nothing on TV (or my DVR), I sat through 30 minutes of the Spanish broadcast of WWE Raw. That's how bad its gotten. I'm watching TV I can't even understand. Of course, the story lines of WWE have degraded (well, as much as they could), so perhaps its for the best.

I blame this on the fact that we, collectively as a country, quit faking that wresting was real. Look, we always knew wrestling was fake, but as long as no one said anything we all acted like it was real. Wrestling was like Santa for older kids - everyone knows something isn't right, but as long as we don't really know, they'll enjoy the charade.

Back in the day, wrestling stars became celebrities, even garnering interviews on respected shows such as Arsenio Hall. Here's one featuring the Macho Man where Aresnio's whole interview is wrestling questions (of course, this may be why his talk show failed albeit not as miserably as The Magic Hour featuring Earvin "Magic/HIV" Johnson - no YouTube clips even exist of this show).

I did some research on the issue and I believe I can identify a time when WWE became ridiculous. In fact, we can blame it one one person: Batman (that link is long but really good).

• That may be the worst "trash-talking" interview ever


• What kind of bush league Bat-suit is Batman wearing?


• Why does he bring up Superman and Spiderman?


• Why is that guy's tie so short?


• Since when does Batman use the phrase "naughty, mean person"?

That video was so ridiculously bad that I couldn't even type coherently. I had to switch to bullets. Seriously, when Batman showed up, all "credibility" that WWE/WWF had went out the window.

Of course, the true downfall of WWE is probably due my boy Hulk Hogan. Everyone loved Hulk. Probably too much. And as a result we got shows like Thunder in Paradise and movies like Mr. Nanny. Hulk single-handedly brought wrestling to fame and destroyed it. Want proof? Watch this.



So, if you smell what I'm cooking, here's how we fix this thing - we need to go back to the roots.
Step one - get some over-the-top (that's not a must watch, but its damn close) wrestlers that scare the hell out of you.
Step two - get rid of all the ludicrous (more Serena!) extra stuff - just get back to wrestling.
Step three - keep the chicks, but only as managers.
Step four - don't be gay (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Let's get wrestling back on track. I need something to watch...if only for the summer.

***The title is talking about future #2 pick in the NBA draft, Kevin Durrant's poor showing at the completely irrelevant NBA combine.***

National Anthem Disasters

Happy Memorial Day everybody. I love Memorial Day because its not a busy holiday and no one really ever makes plans so it turns into a real day off. So, since its a holiday, I'll keep it short today.

Anyway, what better way to celebrate Memorial Day than by taking a look at people who have butchered the Star-Spangled Banner. Some of these are real trainwrecks. To help avopid them in the future, I have created a few key rules that you should follow when singing/preparing to sing The National Anthem.

Rule #1: Don't Be Canadian.

This one should be pretty straight-forward. I don't sing your, you don't sing mine. Perhaps a video will help explain (make sure you make it to the end).



That was God/karma attack. Don't screw with The Anthem.

Rule #2: Know the f---ing words.

I'm looking at you, Michael Bolton. You were born in America - how do you mess this up? Its not that hard. Holy nuts.



Rule #3: Just sing the Anthem.

This one is a tough rule. I understand that you want to add your own flair to the song. That's fine. Just don't go overboard. I'll let Carl Lewis (sorry no video) explain this one for us.



Honestly, people. It isn't that hard. If you want a good example, watch this from Whitney Houston (sorry, anytime I mention her, I have to show that video...its a rule). Of course, I'll make an exception for non-professional minors. I'll end the today's post with mistake that has a heart-warming ending thanks to a save by Mo' Cheeks.



Have a good holiday.

Testosterone Week: Who is Jenn Sterger?

Welcome back to testosterone week. In the interest of full disclosure, you should know that the NBA commercials post has been delayed until next week.

Also, apparently Google thinks that Testosterone Week is gay. When I came to the Skeet Thrower to write today's post, much like in Wheezy's post, I saw an ad that asks - Are You Gay?

Last time I checked, I have a wife (see I do mention you, Shorty) and I'm not really a huge fan of cod pieces, so I'm not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Ironically, when I clicked through some of my posts,the only time the ad came up was on Monday's post and and a post with Catalina from My Name Is Earl dancing dressed like a nappy ho wearing the opposite of a lot of clothing.

Here's the visual proof of the ad:



Bastards. Looks like we need something to man it up. Mr. T should help us get it going.



I don't remember that commercial, but I wish Snickers still used the slogan Get Some Nuts. That is awesome.

Anyway, today I wanted to bring someone and something to your attention. You may or may not know who Jenn Sterger is. 'Round the internets I guess she is known as the "Facebook (.com) Princess" because she had a NSFW album that she posted on The Facebook.com of her and some friends known as the FSU Cowgirls (NSFW). If you were in college when I was in college, you saw that album.

So, predictably she went onto Maxim and Playboy. But her next career move surprized me. Somehow, she got a blog on Sports Illustrated. How in the hell did that happen? Of course, as you expect, SI has a gallery of Jenn Sterger pics as well.

Since I hadn't read any of her stuff before, and I heard that she wanted to go onto be a lawyer, I decided to read through some of it. I found a mailbag where she commented on Britney Spears (NSFWish).

Ah, Brtiney (that's a Britney video link - what do you think), what better way to celebrate Testosterone Week. In high school she may have topped my BCS list. Now, sadly, she doesn't even come close. That said, she is starting to look better. Kinda.

Britney's fall from grace is prolly one of the most disappointing things that happened in my life time. Right up there with American Gladiators going off-air (along with all of its copy-cats) and Hulk Hogan turning on Randy Savage. I hope she returns to form, kinda like Christina changed from nappy ho back to hottie (neither of those are particularly SFW).

In any case, you know what will never fall from grace? High-School Chicks Mad TV Sweet ninja fights like this one:



That's right, that is a young Bruce Lee fighting Chuck Norris. Good times. Manly times.

It's Testosterone Week

I was looking back over my posts from the last few weeks and I realized that I have talked a lot about dudes and man-crushes. Of course, when your #1 man-crush is Jack Bauer, I think that the talk is justified.

Anyway, I'm bringing back some testosterone this week, starting today and culminating in Friday's BCS Top 5 Chica's post.

So, you may have read yesterday in the comments that I went to the Spurs game. They lost and that sucked, but at least it was a good game. One of the highlights of attending the game was catching Tony Parker's lady-friend in person. That's right, Miss Eva Longoria (kinda NSFW, but it was on ABC) was there (if you don't know already, she's pretty damn hot (again, kinda NSFW, Maxim-ish shots here)).

As I said, she's dating Tony Parker (you may be expecting another crappy Tony Parker rap video, but instead that is a boring dateline interview) and makes it to quite a few games. ABC, TNT, Fox Sports, etc. are all gracious enough to show her several times in HD on TV, so I was curious to see her in person because wondered how she would look for reals. Turns out she is pretty good looking in person. Even Shorty commented on how good she looked (and you know another lady is attractive when your wife/girlfried/sister is willing to compliment them). So that was good.

Ironically, my only problem with Jack Bauer has been because of Eva. In the movie The Sentinal, which features both Bauer and Eva, there is a scene where Bauer meets Eva and he tells her to dress more professionally (which meant not showing off her body). That was a bush league move. Real bush, Jack. If you were a man I wasn't scared of you, I'd slap you.

Anyway, the whole reason I wanted to post today was to show you two videos. First, a milk ad directed at men. This may be one of the funnier milk ads of all-time (although the funniest is still the bukkake milk one).



That's a real milk ad. I'm impressed they could say that without someone getting upset. That said, they probably watched this video first.



That's right, know your limits role.

Welcome to testosterone week, men.

Week In Recap: It's a Shark Attack

What a disappointing set of tournament games this weekend. I knew it - the tourney had been too good thus far and we were in for a letdown (I also should take this time to say that I have an extreme dislike for Joakim Noah). This weekend had such potential: a couple NCAA tournament games, gorgeous weather, two Association titans colliding and Wrestlemania to top it all off. Wait, you never watched Wrestlemania? Then you've missed some good times my friends. That said, I haven't watched Wrestlemania in like 10 years and I don't plan on watching it tonight. The WWF (or WWE) has lost its connection to me, mainly because they don't create gems like this anymore:



That, ladies and gentlemen, is some Fuji Vice goodness for you. Easily some of the worst acting all time. The only place you're gonna see something that bad is on Cinemax or porn. Good times.

The WWE stopped making things like that and I quit watching.

On to the recap:

On Monday, I gave you an old school video as well as some sweet hip-hop lyrics.

Friday I dropped a that's what she said story on you as well as a clip to a movie called Shark Attack 3: Megalodon in the links. If you didn't watch it you really should. I've included it here:



If you thought that was funny - and you probably shouldn't be reading this if you didn't - check out another (more SFW) action clip from that movie.



One final note - back by popular demand - the complete blog in the Facebook.com.