Skeet Thrower Draft: Playground Games

It's the return of original Friday content. I've been pretty busy lazy the last few weeks and haven't gotten a post written. Anyway, about 3 weeks ago we finished up a draft and I finally had a chance to write it up.

Topic: Playground Games. Really, it's anything you played at recess or PE while in elementary or middle school.

Order: 1) Laura, 2) Adam, 3) Ross, 4) MM, 5) Wheezy

3 rounds, snaking order. Go.

First Round

1. Laura: SWINGS

MM: PLEASE GIVE A 1-2 SENTENCE DESCRIPTION IF POSSIBLE...WHY ARE WE YELLING?

Laura: I DON'T KNOW!
Swings are classic. And can be enjoyed at all ages (yeah, I've been on a swing in college). You can normal swing. You can swing in a superman pose. You can have someone turn you around and around and around until the chain is all twisted and then let go. You can swing as high as possible and then compete to jump the farthest. Swings are way more versatile than they receive credit for. Despite some other people's opinions, swings are not a peripheral! Swings are a staple of the playground that will be around forever.

Adam: I do the majority of my swinging at Kansas City area Comfort Inns, generally at the quarterly conference. I didn't know people swung at playgrounds, I'll have to look into that.

2. Adam: CRAPS
Looks like I need to have a big draft. My first round selection for best playground game / recess activity is CRAPS, or "shooting dice" as you might have called it. What a rush it always was betting my lunch ticket and praying that I'd be able to eat hot lunch for the rest of that week.

3. Ross: BOOMERANG
The coolest thing we ever did at recess was play with a BOOMERANG! That was the hot item at 4th grade recess. That is, until Ryan Hellander sliced his face open and the powers that be decided it probably wasn't a good idea to have 40 kids chasing around a flying weapon. ...I probably should have saved that one for a later round. Not likely to be stolen I imagine.

MM: I was not gonna steal Boomerang, but only because the word Boomerand reminds me of the first time I ever saw a cougar attack. (that's probably NSFW)

Draft Note: This has nothing to do with the playground, but this ridiculous video comes up on YouTube when you search Boomerang:


4. MM: 4-Square
Honestly, there was nothing better than four square - there was action, shady alliances between the top people and your friends, moves that were borderline cheating, the ability to tag someone with a playground ball, and, as a bonus, just about everyone could get involved.

Draft Note: This over-the-top video is not how I played it, but makes me want to play 4-square even more.



5. Wheezy:Tether Ball
One of the main reasons for this pick is because it was one of the few "sports" I could actually play with any chance of actually winning when I was in elementary school, but also because even if you weren't playing - the people who were looked so ridiculous that you could always enjoy the spectacle.

Second Round

6. Wheezy: Tire Swing
On my elementary school playground there was one of those wooden multi-use play areas with a cargo net you climbed to get to the monkey bars to get to the Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom style rope bridge to get to the twisty slide etc, and on one corner was a tire swing that, when pushed hard enough would get you pinballing back and forth on the support beam structure surrounding it. Plus it spun like crazy, so it was kind of a combined merry go round / swing twofer.

Draft Note: This should remind you of what it looks like to play tetherball.


7. MM: Dodgeball
What's better than winging a playground ball at some of your friends, or, even better, someone that pissed you off. Plus, dodgeball is the ultimate survival of the fittest game. If you're slow or fat or suck at life, you're gonna be out really early. Bonus: I could go play dodgeball right now and have an awesome time.

8. Ross: Kickball
You get to peg people with that red ball, just like in dodgeball, but you also get the satisfaction of booting the ball and hearing that twang. You know what I'm talking about. Kickball is a great playground game, much better than baseball as it required only the ball and moved along much faster, since you never need to pitch 12 times for a single at bat.

MM: I did love that twaaaanggg sound.

Laura: Oh yeah, this game was way high on my draftboard. That twang is particularly satisfying when every one moves into the infield just because you're a girl and then the ball goes over their heads

Draft Note: Here's an awesome kickball league I want to join


9. Adam: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
This was always a favorite of mine as everyone else always seemed to want to be Rafael because he was red, or Donatello for reasons I still don't understand. This opened up Michaelangelo for me which was perfect because despite his bullshit ninchucks, he was the most awesome. A true story is that in 2nd grade my teacher had an intervention with my parents because I was too obsessed with Turtles. Well, Ms. Latka, you know when we're discussing Michaelangelo the artist you're pretty much just asking for some Turtles quotes and references, and maybe you just weren't into them enough. Turtles - the game for kids who love Pizza, debate favorite colors and weapons, and are constantly facing sabotage threats from the Foot Clan.

Draft Note: I'm not sure how this slid through without so much as a comment. I loved playing TMNT on the playground. That said, I'm pretty sure we looked like a mix of these next 2 videos:





10. Laura: Capture the Flag
My entire school used to play this (or kickball) at recess. (Note: My entire school was 17 people, including the teacher that played with us.) One of the criterion for all my picks is that it can be played by all ages and in different circumstances. We played on a semi-open field with a few hills and trees. You could also play a game across an entire campus, or at camp we played in the forest. You can specialize too and it doesn't always require the most coordination (speed is helpful unless you're super sneaky).

Third Round

11. Laura: Tag
Tag can be played at all ages with varying levels of difficulty and any size group. There's normal tag, which I believe was designed solely to use up kids' excess energy since the game never really ends.There's freeze tag, which can actually allow someone to "win" the game by freezing everyone, but it still can go for a long time and you can work together. There's blob tag where people get linked together. Depending on space constraints tag can also turn into a type of hide-and-seek around the playground equipment. Tag is the simplest of games, but with a little bit of creativity it can be changed and elaborated in so many ways.

12. Adam: Tornado Slide
This was the biggest, twist on the way down slide on most school playgrounds. What's true is that I was so deathly afraid of heights through about 3rd grade that I didn't even make it down until 4th grade, and by then everyone was either playing football or climbing UP the slide anyways. Still, I remember the rush of not dying my first time climbing up those stairs and getting all of my undergarments bunched up in the static cling shock of the trip down. Of course, by the time I had enough balls to actually climb up to that slide - there were bad kids hanging out in the top, scratching curse words into the metal, and they never appreciated having to go down just so I could conquer my fears.

13. Ross: The Floor Is Lava
Maybe you called it something slightly different, but I'm willing to bet you had some sort of game where you couldn't touch the ground. This game is a classic, and every playground has it's own quirks and tricks to get from one side to the other without being engulfed in flames.

14. MM: Red Rover
I would like to meet the person that came up with Red Rover. I have a feeling it went like this: A teacher was pissed at his class for being douche bags, so when recess rolls around, he's like, "Hey. I have a game we're going to play today." Then he splits them into two teams and stand in a straight line. Then one-by-one, he has the class run full-steam from their team right into the other team. Furthermore, here's a checklist I used for good games: 1) Is there a chance for injury? Yes. 2) Is there a chance that you'll pick on a girl or a weak kid? Yes. Is there a chance that you could end up on the ground with 2 girls? Yes. Is there a chance that you'll be mad at someone after the game? Yes. Four yeses - how can you not love this game?

15. Wheezy: Butts Up
Get your heads out of the gutter man, this is an elementary school game!

Basically, if I remember correctly. The ball is thrown against a large wall, usually the side of the building, then as it returns the kids try to catch it. If you successfully catch it without dropping the ball, you get then throw it against the wall again. If you touch it WITHOUT catching it, (like drop it, get grazed by it, etc) - you must run to the wall and touch the wall before anybody can get the ball to the wall again.

If you don't make it to the wall first, then you get one "out", and must stand against the wall, facing towards it. The kid who gave you that out then tries to peg you as hard as he can with the ball (usually a tennis or racquetball). If you accumulate 3 outs, then you're done playing.

I really don't know why this game was all that appealing - I guess because of the painful nature of losing (see Bloody Knuckles and the quarter game where you try to keep it spinning for other examples of the pain based phenomenon).

So that's the draft. I'll declare the winner next Friday, so vote until then. Here's the poll.

Have a great weekend.

Skeet Thrower Draft: Wipe One Person From The Earth

Well, after the last draft (congrats to Ross for narrowly pulling that out...that's what she said) got such good feedback, I've decided to keep it as a staple.

No need to wast time - I welcome you to the second Skeet Thrower Draft.

Topic: Wipe One Person from the Face of the Earth, or, more specifically, if you could make one person disappear forever, it would be this person. You're not killing them, just making them and their influence disappear. This is what blogs were made for, right?

Participants: Wheezy, Myself, Laura, Adam, and Ross (same as last time, different order)

4 rounds, snaking order. Go.

First Round

1. Wheezy: Carlos Mencia.
Done.

Ross: Link

2. MM: Fergie.
Need Evidence?
Clumsy
Fergalicious
Big Girls Don't Cry (plus annoying remix)
My Humps
London Bridge

How much better would the world be without this face?

Dan: I must say, so far this draft is off to a WONDERFUL start.

MM: Please don't watch all of the videos I linked. You may shoot yourself in the face.

3. Laura: Paris Hilton
I really hope that doesn't need an explanation.

Wheezy: I thought someone already took care of that (graphic violence warning). Wait... that's just a MOVIE? Balls.

Laura: SICK.

4. Adam: Billy Packer
I've had some late warroom debates over this pick. I think I'm going to select to Billy Packer with my first round selection. His constant analysis just kills the buzz of every game he and his boy Nantz do. Its not that his analysis isn't sound, it's just the opposite of what makes the tournament and college basketball great. The Final Four is always such a drag because everyone's sitting through a 6 hour thesis about zone defenses. I don't care if he's right. I want screaming and people telling me I'm watching the greatest game of all time.

Draft Note: The following comment for some reason stayed in my drafts box and never made it into the draft, but I'm including it anyway
MM: Fair enough. But how can you hate Packer after he gave us this comment:


5. Ross:Bill O'Reilly.
I know you like to keep it clean here, but fuck that guy. I almost left this one for Wheezy, but he needs to go now.

Wheezy: I wish I would have picked him first now. Good job, Ross.

Second Round

6. Ross: Kathy Griffin
In an effort to avoid all political picks I'm going to change gears and go with Kathy Griffin, or maybe it's Griffith. I can never remember, and I'm not going to waste my time looking for a webpage to validate her name. Watching one of her stand up bits was like watching a train wreck. It was so awful, but I couldn't look away. There was one whole bit where the entire punchline was her just saying wiggity wack, over and over again. Well Kathy, with my second pick, you are wiggity whacked.

Laura: This pains me to admit, but there are now two people drafted that I like...

Wheezy: It better be Griffith(n?) and Fergie because if it's O'Reilly or Mencia I'm petitioning the internet to disown you from the human race. No offense.

7. Adam: Jared the Subway Guy
I can't figure out if Subway is legitimately trying to get the general public to convert to a diet that consists completely of sub sandwiches, or if the intent is just to dwell on the fact that Jared was so f-ing fat that he somehow justified eating sub sandwiches for the rest of his life in order to somehow IMPROVE his quality of life - but whatever it is, we get it. We don't need to be raped by this meaningless marketing campaign for another ten years. You guys sell ham sandwiches, and Michael Strahan and Tony Stewart once hung out with a guy that used to be fat and decided ham sandwiches for every fucking meal would be an acceptable way to spend the rest of his life.

8. Laura: Ann Coulter
Link

9. MM: Tyra Banks
I really hate a lot of people on this list. A lot. But the worst thing to me is when someone moves from OK to ludicrous. Tyra Banks used to be hot, she was banging Chris Webber back when he was cool and she was in the swimsuit edition back when that mattered. Then all of a sudden she drops off the deep end. Now, she's just really, really annoying. I want to punch her every time I see her and what makes it worse is that her talk show made it and Tony Danza's didn't. I could give you so many ridiculous clips as evidence, but here the worst.



10. Wheezy: Peter Liguori - President of Entertainment, FOX Broadcasting
I was going to save this for a later draft pick, but I'm worried that Ross will steal a second of my brilliant draft line up. So for my second pick I bring you: Peter Liguori. Why?



President of Entertainment? How about President of horrible horrible decisions.

Third Round

11. Wheezy: Mohammed bin Dhaen al-Hamli - President of Opec.
For my next pick, I'm once again to to choose the head of an organization I dislike based on the logic that he has the most influence over the decisions of that organization. Because I drive a V8 Ford Explorer and I can't even fill my car up at the since most stations cut off the pumps automatically at $50. I'm gonna have to start riding around on a Vespa.

MM: That is impressive. I was not expecting an oil tycoon. Seems like you're really starting to hate on presidents of corporations...

Wheezy: Just don't go making yourself president of anything in the next couple of days and I think everybody will make it through unscathed.

12. MM: Lauren Conrad
I love pointless debates (technically, that's all this is), but the debate over who I would rather bang between ultra-hot Kristen and whiny Lauren pissed me off. Not because I don't like hypothetical who'd you rathers but because the show "Laguna Beach" hurt my brain. Usually a sucker for MTV programming, I hated that scripted reality show and represents all that is wrong with our society. Why would she choose her boyfriend over Paris? Why would anyone choose her over Kristen? Why do I know this much about a show I don't watch/hate. Anyway, she would have fallen off the radar until I heard MTV is bringing her damn show back again. Fuck. She's like a zombie vampire that just won't stop sucking my soul away because even though I'm not watching her I know she's lurking...just waiting to eat my brains.

13. Laura: Rosie O'Donnell
Seriously? That pick was so harsh that it's taken me all day to move past it. But I have: League of Their Own, Sleepless in Seattle, and Now and Then. Those are the only things I can think of that i found her remotely entertaining and the last one was 13 years ago. Besides just being worthless, the whole Trump feud made her annoying. You also can't forget about the Flock of Seagulls haircut.

MM: Man, I hate Rosie. But you can't seriously tell me you like LC? That be the 3rd person in this draft that you like - and that scares me a lot

Wheezy:Rosie was on my list of picks and almost made the cut - but then I had an epiphany whilst filling up on gas. Good pick Ms. Brown. Sorry to say (or maybe proud to say?) I don't even know who Lauren Conrad is. But I take Mueller's word that she's a horrible person. So good pick to you as well.

14. Adam: Kirk Herbstreit.
My third round pick should've been my first. Nebraskans have long cited his bitter attacks against Husker Fans in the "vote for the best teams of all time" special featured all over the youtoob, but just as offensive but also overlooked was the way he voted Penn State '94 ahead of Nebraska '95 in his greatest teams of all time countdown in the bowl season of 05-06. A countdown, which by the way, included an '05 USC as the GREATEST TEAM OF ALL TIME, that would then go on to lose to Texas in the Rose Bowl. This guy constantly lavishes praise upon how dominant USC is, but his constant claims of Big Ten strength are the most damning of his many offenses. His constant attention and assumed competence of the conference inevitably leads towards the Big Ten finding itself with two BCS teams, and again famously threw a fit when Florida was picked to the BCS title game over Michigan. When he's just an ass about greatest teams of all time, it's annoying. But when he keeps the Big Ten relevant - even when they're the worst they've ever been - it's a crime. I hate Kirk Herbstreit and his woman-swooning ways.

MM: I remember back when Herbie wasn't an overly tan, "the best team this year is the best team all-time", Big Ten cocksucker. Those were good times.

Wheezy: Oh Kirk. How far you've fallen.

15. Ross: Keenan Thompson
My final two picks have been difficult. Although the list of worthy candidates is long it finally hit me that Kenan Thompson should be my third pick. He is great at a few things. Unfortunately those things are being unfunny, annoying and making me want to punch Kenan Thompson. He is bad at many things, most noticeably acting and making me laugh. He's so awful that I would not be satisfied to just see him removed from SNL. Good riddance Kenan!

Fourth Round

16. Ross: Dick Cheney
I almost decided to go with a tag team pick of Horatio Sanz, but he's already off SNL and quickly acting his way into obscurity. Instead I choose Dick Cheney. In case somebody after me picks Dubya, I don't want to live in a fictional world where this man is president. No, not even if that fictional world contains no O'Reilly, Kathy Griffin/th, Kenan, Mencia et al. Again I'm going to avoid getting into the politics and it will have to suffice to say the world would be a better place without this man.

17. Adam: Nancy Grace
My fourth and final round selection goes out to select Nancy Grace. It's a close race between her, Lou Dobbs, and Glenn Beck for most miserable and most destructive personality on CNN, but Nancy takes the prize with her throwing of that whole "innocent until proven guilty" perspective out the window. It takes a special bitch to drive one of your interviewees to kill themselves following coming on your show.

Draft Note: This is just a funny Nancy Grace video...



18. Laura: Dustin Diamond
I thought about rounding out my picks with another female. Maybe Tara Reid (she's just pathetic now though) or Rachel Ray (overexposure = bad, recipes = still good). Then last night I was flipping channels and I was visually assaulted by none other than Dustin Diamond. That's right, he's gone on a second season of Celebrity Fit Club. Why can't he go and leave my sweet Screech memories alone? The sex tape was bad, so was the whole house foreclosure t-shirt-selling scam. I could forget those if he disappeared into obscurity, but he refuses. Foul-mouthed and overweight he clings to every second of fame. Get off my TV!!!

19. MM: Tom Cruise
4th round is tough...basically you're pure hatred is gone and now you're just looking for that one person that really pisses me off whenever I see them. Look, I used to love TC. Mission Impossible was great. And how can you not love Jerry Maguire (if Jay Mohr were more relevant, he'd be one of my top picks by the way)? The list of movies I have enjoyed from Mr. Cruise dates back to before I was born, but he's gone off the deep end lately and is the key representative of a "cult". If it was just him, I'd be ok with it, but he took down underrated hottie Katie Holmes (who no longer qualifies because of her craziness) and former BCS Man Crush Will Smith. Now I can't watch the Fresh Prince anymore because all I can think about is how Will Smith is now an idiot. I blame you for this Tom Cruise. You took the Fresh Prince from me. Damn you.

20. Wheezy: Dr. Phil
Like everybody before me has voiced, these last picks were pretty tough. As I was thinking through the list of possible people, I realized that I didn't truly HATE most of these people, they just annoyed me with their rampant stupidity. Is that enough to be "Removed from the Face of the Planet"? Probably not. Most people don't take the likes of Carrot Top seriously, so he's not doing much aside from distilling the world wide pool of comedy, and thus making my own comedic offerings that much more potent.

But then I remembered Dr. Phil, my final pick in the Skeet Thrower draft. I certainly don't take him seriously, but the sad fact is many people do, and for that reason I feel like he should be removed from the face of the planet.

It's bad enough that his brand of "therapy" involves, as put on Wiki's Dr. Phil page, advices that is "at best simplistic, and at worst, invective" (insulting, abusive or highly critical - I had to look that up), but he is the worst of media whores. Let's see. What's the best way to help five completely unrelated strangers with their deeply rooted, complex psychological problems. How about putting them in a house together with a bunch of cameras? That's how MTV does it. Why wouldn't a licensed psychologist do things the exact same way.

Oh wait, Dr. Phil isn't licensed? Well surely there's a logical explanation for that... Oh... the Board of Examiners of Psychologists suspended his license after an ex-patient turned employee of Dr. Phil accused him of sexually inappropriate behavior, and he can't get a new license until he take an ethics class, passes a jurisprudence exam, completes a physical evaluation, undergoes a psychological evaluation and has his practice supervised for one year. Huh. Well that must have been a recent misunderstanding. I'm sure he's well on his way to getting his license back....

That was in 1989????

But he was on Oprah!

And that's it for the draft. I know it was a long post, but what were you gonna do on a Friday anyway.

Yet again, here's where you come in. I've included a poll below, so go ahead and vote (as many times as you want, just refresh the page) for which person drafted the best.

Also, feel free to include people that you would have drafted in the comments. There's nothing better than venting at people on the intermets, so fire away.

Click here to see the draft page and the poll - it won't show up in readers

Skeet Thrower Draft: Dance Skills

So after 300 posts, I'm trying to find ways to stay fresh. There could be several ways to do this (for instance, Wheezy and his friends at Enliv Comics are going to be doing some crazy stuff with their comics), but I've come up with/stolen/read somewhere else about a good one. Fantasy drafts.

When fantasy football season rolls around, the draft is one of the things I look forward to the most - the picks are fun and so is getting to laugh at other people's picks. So, I got a few people together and we conducted a fantasy draft. I've wrapped the draft into a post so you can enjoy/critique our picks (this is the first time writing a draft post, so hang with me). Warning: Turns out this post is really, really long - and if you really get bored, you can skip right to the poll (that's right you get to vote) at the end for a recap.

Since this is the first draft, here's a quick run through of who was involved:

MM (me) - The Skeet Thrower - It's my blog, how would I not be in my own draft.
Wheezy - I've only referenced him and his blog a few times.
Ross - He wrote the longest comment ever on my blog. Side note, Ross actually does good stuff for people - really, visit that link and donate.
Adam - Also a frequent commenter on the Skeet Thrower, Adam graced us with his BCS Top 5 last year.
Laura - I decided that having a chick involved would be a good thing. Bonus, she once wrote an ode to me.

Each persons picks is in bold or is a hyperlink, their reasoning is in italics and everyone else's comments are included also.

I now welcome you to the first ever Skeet Thrower draft.

Topic: "Dance Skills" or, more specifically, "If I could have one person's dance moves it would be...". It can be any person past or present and don't worry about whether they can sing or what they looked like - just the ability to dance.

Rounds: 3, snaking draft order.

First Round

1. Wheezy: Justin Timberlake
Initially when I was trying to think of people with the best moves, I thought of Michael Jackson. But then I remember that his behavior seems to lead to too much plastic surgery and alleged child molestation. so I thought I'd go with JT since he's essentially a modern MJ when it comes to the dance moves. That, and after about five minutes into the Futuresex / Loveshow special on HBO I blacked out, only to awaken an hour later naked in a yard somewhere in Tampa. Witnesses said I was "moving like pure sex". Plus, Tampa is a 2 hour drive ... any my car was nowhere in sight. T'was the power of JT I tell you.

2. Ross: Michael Jackson
I'm sorry Dan, JT is not a modern Michael Jackson. Sure Michael's life is in shambles now, but this guy has moves and he's a classic. Besides, I'm just stealing his moves, not his creepiness. Being able to break out a flawless Moon Walk and Thriller would go over great at parties.

Wheezy: Like... 6 year old birthday parties.

3. Adam: David Brent (Ricky Gervais)
David brings a level of committed devotion and showmanship to his performance style that transcends the adolescent-swooning thrusts of MJ and JT. And if party-crowd acceptance is the litmus with which these individuals are ultimately tested – then I’ll place my bets with the man who can bring the house down with “Free Love on the Freelove Freeway” and who can close the deal upstairs with “If you don’t know me by now.” (And I realize those particular performances are not exhibitions of dancing skill. But a truly brilliant performer is much more than a hot set of hips. I’ll take the mind behind the pelvis.)

MM: Draft note: Adam was nice enough to include a video link for his pick. You'll notice that the draft really takes a different spin here.



Ross: I can only imagine this will ultimately lead to somebody picking Elaine.

4. Laura: Usher
One word: Abs. More than one word: When Usher was 13 he was signed by L.A. Reid. When JT was thirteen he was about to be on the Mickey Mouse Club. While JT worked on his cheesy boy band moves, Usher was being awesome all on his own. Usher has also never (allegedly) molested small children. He's shown versatility by also recently starring in Chicago on Broadway.

5. MM: AC Slater
AC is versatile - he can go pop but he can also break out a little formal/ballet style on you. Plus he banged two of the hottest chicks of my childhood, Kelly and Jessie. Here's video evidence:



Second Round

MM: Draft note: "Snaking" order means the order of the draft reverses each round.

6. MM: Soulja Boy
For the first pick of the 2nd round, I'm taking Soulja Boy. He gets real rugged, brings a hip-hop/street feel and he single-handedly created a world-wide sensation. Plus he's got an internet video that has 28+ million views. It's probably a little early on him, but I can't risk losing him over the next 8 picks...

Adam: Hey could you guys remove my work email from the reply-all’s?

7. Laura: Shakira
Her hips don't lie, but they sure do defy the logic of a normal human's range of motion. Besides, if I'm building a team, I think that Shakira and Usher could come up with some crazy shit. Different styles, but both are sexy as hell with good technique. I really didn't want to be the first (maybe only) to pick a girl, but like MM I didn't want to risk losing this one if I waited too long.

Ross: Laura, you're 2/2 on pick stealing. I took Adam's work email off the list, so we can make fun of him with no recourse for a couple more hours. Adam, I know I've never met you before, so sorry if this is out of line, but I hear your mom goes to college.

Adam: Actually, I'm reading these all on my phone. I just didn't want to type that whole thing out with my thumbs. So Ross, I'm going to pull a Lou Dobbs and challenge you to a real battle if you have something to say. Come through these tubes and let's see what you're made of.

Laura: Why don't we just keep picking dancers...I don't want you guys to clog the tubes with your fighting nonsense.

Ross: Oh shit, I just got busted. It's on now, I guess. You've just made a nemesis you might not be able to handle.

8. Adam: Little Superstar
With the 3rd Pick of the 2nd Round of the "So You Think You Can Dance if you pick these people's Dance skills" Skeet Thrower Draft, I select Little Superstar. Little Superstar offers the human-fluidity of all of the first-round picks at just a portion of the body mass, while managing to not sacrifice any amount of sex appeal. Plus his small-size and internet-based popularity decreases the likelihood of signability issues.

MM: Is that a midget or little kid? And if so, can I adopt him/it?

9. Ross: Christopher Walken
I was really shaken up by the loss of my Shakira pick. I was so distraught I almost rushed into a pick I would have regretted. Driving back from a friend's house I was still unsure and I didn't feel like I had a really good pick. Then it hit me. I offer no explanation, but rather just a video clip:



10. Wheezy: Alfonso Ribeiro
Ouch. That last pick was a killer Ross. Well this draft has certainly taken an interesting turn. I feel like every fantasy draft I've ever been in, where I start out with what I feel was a strong pick, but as time goes on and the rest of the league makes their own picks, a spark of doubt creeps into my subconscious as I think to myself "Should I have picked Little Superstar?" Only time will tell. Far be it from me to just lay down and take it (that's what she said), I'm fairly certain this next pick is going to lock things down for me. In a move that may very well make the internet explode in some sort of worm hole of recursive cyclical destruction, my 2nd pick for the Skeet Thrower Draft: If I Could Steal One Person's Dance Moves has been inspired, nay, demanded by the Skeet Thrower himself: Alfonso Ribeiro. Or perhaps you better know him as Carlton? But don't let that compilation fool you - as MM himself pointed out on the very blog that is running this draft, Alfonso has moves from WAY back.

Third Round

11. Wheezy: Nick Swardson
This last one has been tough. So many to pick from - the world at my finger tips. Which master of the art of dance should I go with? Earlier MM brought up numbers when he picked Soulja Boy. 28+ Million. That's quite the following. So I thought to myself... what's the most important possible aspect of any set of numbers. The answer? High Score.



12. Ross: John Travolta
So I didn't envision that Christopher Walken would be the least crazy member of my dance team, but he clearly is, as my last pick is Scientology's John Travolta. I was trying to add a little Latin flair into the mix, but that'd be a little too flashy for me anyways. I feel having Travolta's moves would be a lot more fitting for me than being able to shake my bon bon like Ricky Martin. He's a hit in any decade, and I think if I could dance like Travolta ladies of all ages would swoon at my feet. No youtube clip needed here, because this is a solid pick and all of you know it without having to see video proof.

MM: Just to be safe, here's a clip.

13. Adam: Al Czervik (Rodney Dangerfield)
The 3rd round is such a tough round to draft for, you're relying totally on your scouting department by this point and these are the types of picks that can totally make or break your draft when analyzed ten years later. My front office really wants me to draft a Yo-Gabba-Gabba all star as an investment pick, but frankly I think I'm just one refined pick away from having the best acquired dance-skills of the year. So with my third and final-pick, I select Al Czervik.

Ross: That looks like an unrefined version of The Elaine. I've been on to your strategy from round 1.

14. Laura: Fred Astaire
I decided to stay in the movie star dancer pool, but throw it back a ways. (1) He's like the original (2) He danced on a ceiling in Royal Wedding (3) Classy choice to balance out the sex appeal of the rest of the team - you can have too much and I don't want to take away from the dancing (4) Managed to get out of Omaha in the early 20th century to make it in Hollywood (5) Had enough something-something to get someone 45 years his junior.

15. MM: Early 2000's Britney Spears
I'm surprised my pick made it this far and I consider a steal of the draft. Somewhere during my freshman year of college, she transformed from attractive chick to a potential BCS-top 5 member and don't tell me you didn't watch the Slave or Toxic videos every single time they were on TV. Everyone was mesmerized by her moves.

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And that's it for the draft. This is easily the longest post ever (maybe I'll split it up next time). But if you made it this far - now, is when you get to participate. I want you all to decide who drafted the best dance moves (let's be honest though, we're all gonna vote too). To vote, I've included a nice poll here (I'm not sure if this will show up in a reader, so just click through to the page).

Thanks for reading - hope you enjoyed this as much as we did. If nothing else, now you have something to talk about this weekend.