Monday, July 30, 2007

Does TMNT Talk Work at a Gay Bar?

This last weekend was my bro's bachelor party. We went down to Kansas City and did the standard stuff - Hooters, baseball, beer, etc. For me, the craziest stuff happened on Saturday night (fortunately, I didn't do anything to piss off my wife). I was bored at the bar we were at, so I decided to go find another somewhere else. Turns out I ended up going by myself. So, here I am in downtown KC, walking down the street at like 12:15 am trying to find a bar to walk into. I walk about a block and am presented with 2 immediate choices: 1) a bar that appears to be full of bikers, and 2) a bar that is playing hip-hop and pop, but I can't see inside. Figuring that I would take a shot to the face at the biker bar, I went into the hip-hop bar. Besides, I had seen a couple normal looking people go in already, so I wasn't too worried about it.

Of course, as I enter the door, I realize that there's a f-ing cover. I hate covers, but I paid it anyway (it was only $5) and made my way up to the bar and ordered a beer. I quickly realized that something wasn't right - I appeared to have stumbled into one of KC's premier gay bars. Good times! Seeing as how I myself am not gay (not that there's anything wrong with that) I was again presented with 2 choices: 1) immediately leave or 2) pony up to the bar and people watch. Seeing as how I was by myself, had already paid a cover and the Boulevard was only $1, I decided to stick it out.

Let's be honest, I saw some things that night that I never really want to see again (a fishnet thong does not look good on a male) and some things that intrigued me (there was a dance floor full of lesbians - I'll let you dream up the details (SFW)) but overall the people were actually really nice. In fact, you may not find nicer people than at a gay bar. The nicest person may have been my butch bartender, Marge, who reminded me of this chick.



Sadly, Marge was not that chick or else I could have impessed her with my TMNT knowledge. Like reciting the lines from this PSA (apparently Mike had the munchies while filming that commercial). On the other hand, if Marge was that chick, I may be dead - there's no telling what a psycho chick like that would do. This chick is over the top. I don't even know what to say and since this is my job, I'll switch the topic...

...Speaking of Marge, I saw The Simpson's Movie this weekend. Funny? Yes. Very funny? Nah. It was very well executed and translated much better than the South Park movie, I think. Of course, the slight disappointment I felt should be brought back by Superbad which has me very excited.