I Love Me Some Milkshakes

Well, I'm back from my trip to the NFL Combine. I wasn't allowed to go inside of the combine arena itself, so I can't give you any updates as to how a certain player performed. I can tell you that twin brothers Rex Ryan and Rob Ryan both had a double steak burger, fries and a chocolate shake at the Steak & Shake every night at around 11:45pm. I'm not kidding - and I know this because I was eating the same thing every night at the same time.

The first night my boss and I sat at Steak & Shake, I was seated facing their table (for full disclosure, there were two other guys with them as well). At one point, Rob reached across the table and stole a milkshake from one of the other guys. I laughed to myself because it was the first time I had been in the vicinity of milkshakes since I saw There Will Be Blood. What do milkshakes and TWBB have to do with each other? There was an awesome scene in that movie where Daniel Day Lewis tells the scrawny guy from The Girl Next Door/Little Miss Sunshine (Paul Dano). Here's the scene if you haven't seen the movie.

Update: I've embedded a ridiculous cutup of this scene from Metacafe because the real thing keeps getting pulled from YouTube. You get the gist of it and it makes me laugh.



Side note: I didn't really like that movie, but I don't really like Upton Sinclair either, so take that with a grain of salt. Daniel Day Lewis did just win an award for that movie last night, though. That scene made me laugh though.

I didn't try to explain that scene to my boss, who hasn't seen the movie, because I didn't think it would be that funny if I had to explain it. Then SNL (which was pretty damn good) dropped this clip on us - it made me laugh pretty hard.



The milkshake bit was well done and the screaming about abandoning his boy was genius if you've seen the movie. Well done, SNL, and keep it up.

Also, if you ever have a chance to get a Steak & Shake milkshake, I recommend it.

Mario Lopez Is A Bad Host

I don't know if you watch the Super Bowl for football or just commercials, but that was an amazing game. On top of a win-win situation for me as a fan, its too bad the commercials weren't outstanding or else we could have gotten the rare Super Bowl Entertainment Trifecta. Why was it a win-win you ask? Well, if the Patriots won, then dumbass Mercury Morris could shut the hell up and we would have seen history. But, since the Giants won, we get to celebrate in d-bags Belichick, Harrison and whoever else you don't like on the Patriots suffer in defeat - and that's awesome. Going back to the commercial thing, I'm pretty sure this was the best commercial from the NFL playoffs (sadly, it wasn't unveiled during the Super Bowl).



Anyway, you don't know this, but my wife loves those crazy dance shows (like So You Think You Can Dance and Dancing With The Stars. On Saturday, we watched a new one that MTV has created: Randy Jackson's America's Best Dance Crew. It is all hip-hop dancing, so that's better than any of the other dancing shows, but there are two really, really painful parts of the show: JC Chasez of N'Sync fame) and Mario Lopez. They are both really, really white dudes interacting with a more rugged crowd. Someone has chronicled all of JC Chasez's awkward interactions (if you watch that, count how many times he says um, uh, kind of, and I mean). I'm not sure how he got on the show, but I can let it slide because he was in N'Sync and they did quite a bit of dancing; however cheesy it was. The real question is how in the hell Mario Lopez got this gig. If you watch that Chasez clip, you only get brief moments of Senor Lopez, but that's all it takes to realize he's trying really hard to be ghetto, forgetting that he spent the last few years doing an Animal Planet show. He is awkward, clearly overreading his lines and just an overall bad host. Besides, if you remove DWTS from the equation, I'm pretty sure this is his only dance experience.



Maybe he's more hood than I thought. We should probably check another video just to make sure.



Ah, that's the Slater I knew. Although if Kelly Kapowski (NSFW) thinks that is hot then I guess you can't fault him.

Wait...The Manning Brothers Have DSL's?

So I was searching for a random Peyton Manning commercial the other day and I stumbled across these two random videos. They are commercials for Double Stuffed Oreos and they must be new because I haven't seen them yet (turns out these videos were both added on January 14th). Anyway, the commercials are for the Double Stuffed Racing League or the DSRL (On a side note I somehow read that as DSL which lead made me somehow hope this commercials was going to involve DSL's. Sadly it does not) which looks hilarious. Watching them lick the Oreos is awesome actually kinda disgusting, but funny none the less.



That theme song is awesome. You can hear the acoustic version at the official site of the DSRL. You can do all the other marketing gimicky stuff there too. There are more videos on that site (the main video is the commercial above), but one of them has already made it to other parts of the internets. Here's Peyton talking about his role in the DSRL.



[Insert whatever witty comment you want about Peyton and commercials here]. Get used to these commercials, I'm sure you'll be seeing a lot of them in the weeks to come.

College Football Withdrawl...

When Nebraska's college football season fell apart, I didn't want to watch much more football for the time being. But eventually my distaste wears off (unlike my distaste with Wii Golf, but that's another story) and I want to watch more. Now I'm kinda in withdrawl as there's no real college football on right now. Anyway, here's an awesome comment that I wish I would have seen a few months ago only because I would have posted it earlier.



He doesn't even follow it up with "Not that there's anything wrong with that!" What is he thinking. There's all that dead airspace there...
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Why didn't he say anything? Holy nuts.

Hope you had a good weekend. Get ready for a posting extravaganza this week.

Giving Him The Business

I don't know if you saw this but this is possibly the best penalty call ever. It happens about 42 seconds in. It is awesome.



Ah yes. He must have learned from this ref (it happens at about 1:17).



Thank God for YouTube (and The Big Lead).

Day After Thanksgiving...

...Means its time for Nebraska versus Colorado. I was two years ago today (well, not today exactly, but two years ago on the day after Thanksgiving), that a few of my friends and I jumped in the car at like 5am and drove to Colorado, expecting us to get our asses handed to us. Instead, we saw what was one of the most fun Nebraska football games I have ever attended.



My favorite moment was going back and watching the DVR'd version of the game to see this interview.



It's a total insult to go no huddle. Why would anyone try to score right before the half? I have no clue. That's just insulting.

Let's hope it turns out like this again.

76 - 39

Last year, some of my friends made a Facebook.com group called the Harrison Beck Fan Club after Harrison transferred out of Nebraska. We created it to make fun of Zac Taylor who we teased about Nebraska's 40-15 loss at Kansas his first year in the program. I wouldn't recommend reading through the comments (although the times where outsiders didn't know it was a joke are really, really funny), but, mainly, people just didn't get how we could think Zac wasn't right for Nebraska (although, ironically, he's a member of the group) - they had all seen our program without Zac the year before when we got beat 70-10 because our Quarterbacks sucked. Fast-forward two years, we're without Zac and now we get pummeled 39-76 at Kansas. Most points we've ever given up. Joey Ganz had a nice day (400+ yards, 4 TD's = 32+ points in my fantasy leagues I forgot he also ran for a TD, so that's 5 TD's for 40+ points, but the 4 INTs = -8 as well...), but there's not much could do to stop Kansas's offense. Harrison Beck probably could have...

What's my point - I have no clue. I guess there's two things: 1) At least we're not Notre Dame (although, truly, what's the difference at this point?) and 2) At least my friend Nomar has got some good ammo to heckle fellow Nebraska fans with. You would be surprised how upset people get when you remind them of 70-10 or 40-15 or 5-6.

Anyway, to [Insert reason here...you can choose from: to distract you or make you laugh, or stop being bored because you don't really care about Nebraska football or football in general, or just to include a video in this post] here's the new Spice Girls music video. Say what you want about them (I was never really a fan - let's be honest I could write a whole post about them), but don't act like you didn't know the words to the chorus of Wannabe.



*Gratutious picture of Erin Andrews eating a sandwich to remind you that everyone needs to eat...except Mangino who really, really needs to mix in a salad.

Casual Dress Friday: Balky's Got Magic

Well, its a Casual Dress Friday here at the Skeet Thrower and after last week, I decided that I would not be making the (however long the drive is) trip to Lawrence, KS this weekend. Mainly because I didn't want to see this guy light us up. Then I found out that he's not even their starting quarterback. And I still decided not to go. Turns out I don't want to go watch a team I don't respect beat us. Why can't I respect an 8-0 team? Because this is an actual picture they ran on their website after they started 4-0.

Seriously, my computer is honestly humming extra loud since I loaded the picture of that fatty. Anyway, the plust side to not going to Lawrence is that I get to have a relaxing weekend: catch up on TV, watch some football and watch some videos on the Internets. Honestly, I've just been starring stuff in my reader...I'll finally have a chance to catch up on some stuff.

Now, enough boring chat - here's a video:



That video is random, yet awesome. How come The Fridge gets his own GI Joe? I have no clue. You may think this video is out-of-nowhere, but its topical considering the item I shared in my shared feed. What's a shared feed? Basically, its stuff that I find pretty funny but that I don't write about here. You can basically let me filter out even more of the Internet for you. You can either check over on the left sidebar every time you come to the site or you can just use this link to get the feed directly to a reader of your own.

But I digress...the whole point of today's post was supposed to be about the old-school TGIF lineup with shows like Family Matters and Step-By-Step. At the peak, I remember a show called Perfect Strangers was a closer (did you know that Family Matters was a spin-off from Perfect Strangers - Harriett Winslow was the elevator woman in the Perfect Strangers' guys' building). So, what better way to close today's post than a ridiculous video from a Perfect Strangers Halloween episode.

Let Me Tell You Why My Life's A Trainwreck

So, my wife is on fall break. This is a good thing for her...bad thing for me. We went to Elkhorn Omaha to see her parents after the beat-down on Saturday for the rest of the weekend. I came back on Sunday night, but Shorty stayed with her parents until yesterday afternoon (This is why I had no computer to write my post for yesterday - it was still with her in O-town).

In any case, by myself I watched a lot of TV, I got a lot done around the house (boring stuff I won't talk about) and I went to bed around the same time I normally do, only by myself (obviously, because Shorty is in Omaha). So this morning rolls around and I hear my alarms, and I had been dreaming that it was the weekend so I shut them off (I think, I don't really remember). 9:20am rolls around and I wake up and realize that its not the weekend and on weekdays I'm usually at work about 90 minutes earlier than it was right now.

It would be one thing if this happened once or twice, but if Shorty's not around this happens all the time. I have to set like 90 alarms and basically not sleep/wake up every hour-or-so in order to not be late. It happens often enough that my boss (who also happened to live with me throughout college) just assumed that's what happened and didn't worry about me. I could just disappear off the face of the earth and no one would know I was gone for like 10-20 hours. I don't know if that's a good thing or a bad thing.

Anyway, fortunately I have these two random dudes who can tell me how to get my dream life.



Ah the Internets. That's right. You know what? I love the Internets. You know what else I love? Monday Night Football. Here's a clip from MNF. I'm not sure when crowd shots became popular, but if I knew that, I might be able to figure out when people started realizing they were in a crowd shot and started doing stupid/awesome things. Don't know what I'm talking about? Tired of all the question marks in this paragraph? I have just the thing for you. I just missed this clip last night (I was walking down my steps between TVs...well, not the TVs, but the floors in my house that have TVs), but my boy Blair called me like 30 seconds after it happened to tell me about it. And, of course, it only took about 2 hours to show up on the Internets. See - that Internets thing is already paying off!

Week In Recap: It's Saturday

It's Saturday, and you may be asking yourself why is there a new post on Saturday? The answer? I can't stop posting...just kidding. Really, if you're asking that question, I guess you should be asking yourself why you're reading this.

In any case, with the new posting style, I feel the recap makes much more sense on Saturday. Of course, it may not get posted on Saturday, but hopefully the recap will make it way more often than it has over the last few months.

Anyway, while you're reading this I'm either driving to Columbia, MO, hanging out in Columbia, watching a Nebraska/Missouri football game or, if you make it to Sunday, driving home from the game, on Sunday. Hopefully everything turns out well. We all remember what Mizzouri's Chase Daniel did last year - we can only hope for that or worse today. If nothing else, I hope this video of Erin Andrews, getting upset because the third take of some random tailgating piece didn't go as planned, gets you in the football mood.



If football doesn't do it for you (wha?), here's a video of Bobby Abreu's baseball bat breaking for no apparent reason last night. Watch the bat after he taps it on the plate. That was the second best part of that game, right behind the Yankees losing.



On To The Recap:

On Monday, I made it to Post #200. Unveiling the new posting style. Hope you've enjoyed it thus far.

We looked at the marketing power of Billy Dee Williams on Tuesday.

Eric Olsen showed us how bad of an actor he really is on Wednesday.

Vern Fonk Insurance videos were all over Friday's post.

Casual Dress Friday: No Longer Will Sticking It In Be Allowed

It's a Casual Dress Friday and I'm gonna fill you into a little secret about myself: I don't follow Virginia Tech football. I never really disliked or liked them, but I always rooted for them to beat those bastards down at Miami. Obviously, I knew about the pre-dogfighting Vick brothers, Frank Beamer's face and their special teams, but not much else. One rumor I had heard about Virginia Tech football home games was that fans would chant "Stick it In" in goal line situations. I never really believed it though, and I assumed that, even if it did happen, it was a small portion of people. Well, thanks to a sweet find from The Wizard of Odds I now have proof that this happens.



It turns out that the band actually plays a song called "Stick It In" that people would chant with. Impressive (Nebraska band, you should be taking notes).

Unfortunately, I will never get to experience this tradition as Virginia Tech administration has outlawed sticking it in because they deem it lude. Bush league, VT. Real bush. I guess I'll have to go to Oregon. What's next, are you going to be eliminating your sensitivity training?



See what happens? If you tell people they can't stick it in, then they're gonna find other ways to express themselves. Next thing you know, you're gonna end up with guys like this that graduate from your university.



Ok, so I have no clue whether he graduated from VT, in fact, I would guess he didn't, but he is in Bowling Green, KY which is close enough. Fortunately, I am now distracted by ridiculous news clips like this from the World Wide Leader.



I guess that's not so much ridiculous as it is a blooper. I'm impressed that ESPN doesn't run on a tape delay to catch stuff like that. You'd think everyone would run on at least a little tape delay, lest something like this should happen.



Ah, yes. Nothing like a little Chuck Storm to finish out the week.

Have a good weekend.

Football is in Full Effect

Well, its September and one of my favorite traditions - the football season - has arrived. This weekend the football kicked into full effect with an entire weekend of college and NFL games. What does this mean? Basically every weekend from now until January, I will be sitting in front of my TV and my computer watching games and scores from about 11am to 10pm. Good times. Of course, since I'm sitting in front of a computer, you'd think this would increase the number of blog posts I make, but this has not held true after NFL week 1.

Of course, football season means its time for fantasy football. This year, I upped myself from 1 FFL team and one pick-em to 4 FFL teams, 2 NFL pick-ems and 2 college pick-ems. I've gone overboard. I couldn't even tell you who to root for this week because I had too many conflicting players. For the first time, in one of my leagues, I own Peyton Manning and I didn't have to play against him in any other leagues this week. This made it easy to root for a guy that I generally make fun of a lot. That said, I was very impressed with Peyton's SNL appearance. After it aired the first time, I only saw a few clips, but it was rerun on Saturday and I DVR'd the whole thing On a side note - I've decided SNL is a prime DVR show - there's really only about 45 minutes of skits and you can probably fast forward through about 20 minutes of them (for instance, anything that features Keenan). But I digress - Peyton had me laughing quite a few times, such as in this skit.



Thank God Keenan had a towel there or he could have ruined the whole skit Jimmy Fallon style. I'll let it slide though since that funny cop from Superbad was trying no to laugh as well. Also, I guess Peyton doesn't make me laugh as much there as the guy that's in The Brother's Solomon (which is just getting slaughtered on Rotten Tomatoes). I guess his name is Will Forte (I don't think Will Forte even says anything in that clip). He's no Will Arnett.



And you think that I only remembered Will Arnett from Arrested Development

Casual Dress Friday: Construda and Some Koolaid

It's a Casual Dress Friday here at the Skeet Thrower and you may have noticed a few changes around here. Most notably, there's a new sweet graphic at the top of the Skeet Thrower, brought to you by my boy Wheezy. I love it. Gracias, senior.

There's going to be a few more changes over the next week leading up to a pretty hefty overhaul by the 200th post. If you check in the late night (our animation has really improved since then, huh.), you may see the blog in shambles - that's when I'm doing the work. Don't worry, it will all be better by the morning (or a couple hours - whatever is first).

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Anyway, over the past week I have participated in 3 fantasy football drafts. Three (Holy nuts! Call me Paul Ruud from Knocked Up). Fortunately there's either 10 or 12 teams in each league, so the research I do should be applicable across all of my leagues, so the Skeet Thrower shouldn't suffer. Of course, fantasy drafts (none of which were in person, by the way - proving that this Craigslist entry was not for me) mean one thing - the NFL is around the corner. And that means its time for some wacky NFL news. But rather than rehash some worn-out Michael Vick story lines or make fun of another Bengal getting arrested, I wanted to take a look at one of the good guys in the NFL: Lawrence "Koolaid" Maroney. Why Koolaid you ask? Because of this picture:



If you can't figure it out from the picture, that's a Koolaid emblem at the bottom of his chain. Lawrence Koolaid Maroney is also his name on his (possibly fake) TheFacebook.com page where his quotes include:

“wash u ass”
“bout time we got some construda in dis [redacted]”
"Your ass backwards if you chase hoes, chase the cheese they come with the shit."

So maybe this detracts from the whole "good guy in the NFL" thing, but I made that up anyway. With respect to his comments, I was intrigued, as I had no clue what construda was. So, I turned to the definitive source - UrbanDictionary. Unfortunately, they did not have any information. Now, there are several entries (and a blog), none of which really seem to adequately define Construda. Guess I'll have to go to my rugged sources on that one. In the meantime, here's a peewee versus mascot football game where the Atlanta Falcon mascot (I assume) decides to make up for all of Vick's animal cruelty on some kids.



Special thanks to Deadspin and Kissing Suzy Kolber for the football related links and pics.

I Love Vegas...

I love Las Vegas. It is like Disney World for adults. Honestly, what is cooler than a 24-hour bar scene. You can get a dirt cheap beer or rita, throw 20 on black and then throw that 20 at a stripper all within 20 minutes.

I'm gonna be straight with you though - when I'm in Vegas, I avoid the strip clubs (really that's a life goal of mine). Why waste my money on some dirty box when I can blow it getting all juiced up on free Red Bull & Vodkas while playing black jack?

You know who doesn't avoid the strip clubs? Athletes. Not all of them go, but a lot of them do. There have been some pretty good strip club stories come out about athletes like Dikembe Mutombo's famous "Who Wants To Sex Mutombo?" speech at the Hot-lanta Gold Club and the Stephen Jackson "When I'm on the court I go fisticuffs, when I'm off the court I go glock" battle at the strip club earlier this year.

But one story may be topping these this year. I heard this earlier this week, but I wanted to wait for all the details to come out before I jump to a conclusion (cuz I never do that) - Pacman Jones got in a battle at a strip club.



Reports are fuzzy but apparently it all started when Pacman "made it rain" on the stage. Now my first thought was that the Pacman actually did a little skeet throwing up on the stage - and I wouldn't put it past him after his prior transgressions - but I called some strippers and found out that "make it rain" is a term used in strip clubs. It is when someone throws a stack of straight cash homey up in the air at the strippers. Also, just in case you were confused, this is in no way related to Hilary Duff's song Come Clean (Let The Rain Fall).

If you're still confused, I'll let these kids from Kidz Bop explain it to you. What's Kidz Bop? More on that in a second.



Anyway, somehow Nelly gets involved (who knew he was still alive) leading to Pacman's and Nelly's crews battling it out. I'm not sure when this happened, but at some point during the raining, Pacman ended up smashing a strippers head into the ground causing the bouncers to get pissed. Another scuffle ensued and at some point during that scuffle Pacman bit some bouncer's ankle (what!?!), threatened him and told his posse to "smoke his ass" which is not a Jon Ammechi reference. Now the bouncer is paralyzed. Bad times.

Of course, Pacman denies his involvement in all of this. He also fired his agent for the bad publicity (I'm sure his agent is disappointed).

Nelly should be careful, lest he ruin his image and prevent one of his songs from being on a Kidz Bop album again. What's Kidz Bop? Apparently they just have kids sing pop songs like "Crazy" or "Sk8r Boi". There's some gems, but the best may be on Kidz Bop 6 they sang Toxic. Toxic! Holy nuts. Might as well just send them to the strip club with Pacman.

Post #99: Bears Fans Are Nuts - Its Super Bowl Mania!

Bears Fans Are Nuts-o!

That is all. Have a good casual dress Friday.

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Ok, fine. I'll give you some evidence.

Item 1:

One chick induced labor so her husband could go to the conference championship. Nuts-O. She risked the health of her and her baby so her husband could watch the Bears beat up a hurricane ravaged team. Nuts-O.

Item 2:

Ok, sorry - the hurricane reference above a little to soon for you? How about this actual sign from the football game? Nuts-o. And a little distasteful.



Yes, I know this only represents one idiot, but still, my goodness. I'll give the man (or woman) credit for his ingenuity, but I'll knock him for crossing the line a little too far. That said, it's not like the Bears don't have their tradgedy to rally around. Nuts-O.

Item 3:

That one chick tried to sell herself as a "date" to go to the game, where "date" didn't mean "sexual assistant." How pissed would you be if you bought Super Bowl tickets and a moderately to pretty hot date and then didn't get to lay some pipe. Bush. That's bush league.

Turns out, someone gave her tickets and now she is auctioning off a spot with her friends. Nuts-O.

Item 4:

Tank Johnson. Enough said. No, wait, it's not. First, Tank Johnson has a bazillion guns in his home. So the cops bust him for that and some drugs. Then after he gets in trouble for that, the Bears organization says "stay home, don't get in trouble." Instead, he goes out to a nightclub and his boyfriend? bodyguard gets capped. Then a Chicago judge clears him to go to Miami for the Super Bowl. Miami? Are you serious? Do you know anything about Miami? It's a beautiful city, but also one where you can get drugs and hookers all over the place. Good times. So, I'm not sure whether this goes to Tank, the judge that approved him to go to Miami or the Bears fans that support him 100% (I'm sure he's not really a bad guy, but come on!) - Nuts-O.

Item 5:

Bears fans still support Sexy Rexy as their QB. Nuts-O. On a side note, my Rexy Back post has been receiving a ludicrous number of hits from the Illinois area (keep it coming). I'm not saying that Brian Griese or, God forbid, Kyle Orton are better options, but Rex Grossman? The man put up some of the worst QB ratings all-time this season. Nuts-O.

Anyway, so now that I've sufficiently pissed off the 3rd largest city in America (a city I love by the way), you may be asking yourself, "Who is the Skeet Thrower rooting for in the Super Bowl?". My answer - The Bears, of course. Why am I rooting for the Bears? Two reasons:

1) The Red Sox already won a World Series (the 5th or 6th sign of the Apocalypse, I believe) and this year my Cardinals won one (which means that all of the teams I root for in the major sports have now won a title since I've been alive and can remember), so now I can die in peace. Combine those two facts with Peyton potentially winning a championship, it may be the 7th sign of the Apocalypse and we could all die. Honestly, a black hole could just open up right on the 50-yard line in Miami. And I like seeing Peyton lose.

and, more importantly,

2) The Chicago Bears Theme Song (courtesy of this website)!



You may like this ridiculous opera version sung by the dwarf from the "Lord of the Rings," instead.

Also, I love this video clip of now deposed coach, Denny Green:

On a side note, that video is going down in coaching press conference history with Jim Mora and Playoffs! Green says we should crown the Bears, so we should prolly just go ahead and do it.

I can only hope the Bears win because we'll get commercials like this one for Coke and this one for Tire America. They are awful. But who didn't love the Refridgerator?



1 other reason I like the Bears is because of these videos: Bear vs. Colt. That's just one of them, but there's a bunch of them on the YouTube.com.



Ok, that's not high-larious, but still pretty funny - in a - its so crappy its funny way.

Anyway, I'll be rooting for the Bears on Sunday (look, you can even order your Championship DVD online already (its been there since Monday), and I'll be making my prop bets as such. On a side note, I think Billy Joel goes over on the 1m 44s for the national anthem.

In other news, I've been counting posts since my return. Ok, more acurately, blogger has been counting them. In any case, this is post #99, which means that my next post will be a 100th Post Extravaganza. I'm not sure what that means yet, but hopefully you'll enjoy.

UUUHHHGGG-rrrr! means Tom Brady

It's a casual dress Friday, and its been one (1) week since I formally announced my intentions to drop 10-15 L-B's. I'm happy to report to you that I'm down 2 pounds. At this rate, I will be manorexic by February. Not to mention that I feel really gay monitoring my weight and reporting it to everyone else. Gay times.

Speaking of gay times, let's talk about American Idol. Now before you go get in a tussle, I'm not saying you're gay if you watch American Idol. I just want to calrify a few things.

Inherently, this show is not really a dude's show, but a lot of guys watch it. I wouldn't say its gay to watch it, but let's set down some ground rules:

1. If you're watching it with a significant other/family - you're ok.


2. If you're watching it because you're significant other/family is going to talk about it and you need to know what they're talking about - you're ok.


3. If you're looking forward to it all week - you're probably a little gay.


4. If you've been looking forward to it since last May - you're probably pretty gay.


5. If you vote as many times as you can every week from multiple different locations - you know you're gay already.

Of course, this only applies to guys and probably only counts once the real show starts. All of this intro BS (you know, with a lot of generic people that suck), that's probably ok to watch because there are some good times. Plus Paula Abdul is a train wreck.

Why all of the talk about American Idol? Because I saw this clip of a woman singing a song from The Wizard of Oz. Now, I haven't seen TWOZ (see what I did there?) since I was little so I really don't remember any of the songs, but when I walked into the middle of this performance, I thought this chick was imitating a half-man/half-wookie.

Anyway, here is the video of the Wookie woman (you will not be gay if you watch this clip).



All kinds of the good things in that video. First, she says she can "do" the lion (I'm not sure what that means). Second, she may have been reading directly from this blog. I'm not sure though. Also, the poster rejection is awesome. Plus, Jewel (who would be smoking hot if not for her messed up grill) is there, and that's always good times.

In other music news that is also slightly gay, I bring you this video about Tom Brady. This is a Kissing Suzy Kolber production (like yesterday), so it follows the same format (scrolling pictures with a song in the background), but this one is easily 1000x funnier than the Rexy Back one from yesterday. It is SFW and you really, really need headphones to enjoy the song along with the plethora a pictures.



How about that love ballad, huh?

Yeaaaaaah, I wanna help you reach completion
...
...
...
...rating highest in the the league!

If only it was sung by the Wookie chick. Someone on the internets needs to make that for me.

Brad-LLRRRR-rrrRRR-y

So let's recap: weight discussion, American Idol, hairy things and a Tom Brady love song. Nope, no gayness here. Not at all. Not that there's anything wrong with that.

Have a good weekend.

Brady....

I'm Bringing Rexy Back....YEAH!

Alright, it took me almost a week, four 24, some work cancelled due to "inclement weather" and me being mad at the San Antonio Spurs (my favorite Association team) for blowing the game against the Lakers, but now I'm ready to move on from last weekend's football massacre.

Two things that were awful that happened:

1. The San Diego Super Chargers lost. This hurt doubly because not only had I adopted them for the playoffs, but they lost to the hated Patriots.


2. The Colts won, which isn't that bad, except now I had to hear a weeks worth of Indy vs. New England BS on the World Wide Leader.

Fortunately, these pains have been relieved by three things:

1. LT went off on the Pats, making for some good drahma for the next few years. (Even the Pro Bowl in Hawaii because Belichick is coaching).


2. I avoided SportsCenter all week, there by missing all of the Indy vs. New England hype


3. Wheezy provided me a new theme song for the New Orleans Saints (below), my second team for the playoffs. You can call me a bandwagon guy, but who isn't rooting for them except for Bears fans (sorry, Galante)? Plus, I like Josh Bullocks, Scott Shanle, Trevor Johnson and DeJaun Groce (who was exciting everytime he touched the ball). Well, love is prettty strong for Trevor Johnson, but everyone else is cool.

I can hear the complaints: "Why so many sports posts lately?" and "Are you gonna become a 'Sports' blog?". Four reasons:

1. It's the playoffs and once their done there really isn't football for a long time.


2. I'm a man. And like Ron Burgundy says, "I'm a man who discovered the wheel and built the Eiffel Tower out of metal and brawn. That's what kind of man I am." What does that have to do with football? If you're a man like me and Burgundy you know.


3. The Saints are "America's Team" this year. Who doesn't want to hear more about them?


4. Finally, I have a good video for this post.

So, without further ado, here is the New Orleans Saints new theme song. It's really just "Gonna Fly Now." with a dude jumping around. Not as much fun to sing, but I'll prolly still do it. I don't have 5 reasons why I like this song or I would give you another list. So, in absence of the list, just enjoy the video.



Is that dude Dog the Bounty Hunter? I don't know, but this video has me back in the NFL spirit.

Well, its that video and this video. Since I know a few Bears fans read this blog, I can't leave you hanging without a video of your own. So, here's a Kissing Suzy Kolber production (with a production name like that, how can it not be good), Rexy Back. This one might have some words on the pictures that are minorly NSFW. Its not NSFW on the whole, but perhaps there are some words that could be construed as NSFW. None are said though - I don't think.

Chargers...Charge!

After my (adopted for the playoffs) San Diego Super Chargers collapsed Sunday, I had to take a day to breathe. Otherwise, I would have started using words so rarely seen here on the Skeet Thrower that I may have lost my PG-13 rating.

Sweet choke job.

Anyway, I still hate Belichick, and apparently, so does NFL MVP LaDainian Tomlinson

"I would never react in that way. I was very upset," Tomlinson said. "When you go to the middle of our field and start doing the dance Shawne Merriman is known for, that is disrespectful. They showed no class and maybe that comes from the head coach."

But the best quote may have been from linebacker Shaun Phillips:

"Every time I will play New England it will be a personal grudge," linebacker Shaun Phillips said, according to the Union-Tribune. "That was very classless. ... When we went in and beat their head in New England [last season] ... we did nothing but compliment them and say they were a good team. We would never disrespect a team like that."

That's the kind of anger I like to hear. Next time the Patriots play the San Diego Super Chargers they probably should be careful because the San Diego...Chargers! are going to be so roided up for that meeting that they may kill Tom Brady. Or just take a bite out of someone's throat like Jack "I gave the look of death to that dude from China" Bauer (Did you watch 24 like I told you to numerous times? It's freaking awesome, huh? Yeah, I thought so. It's the only thing that could have saved me from being pissed about another Peyton vs. The Patriots week of hype for the NFL.).

Anyway, I still have the Saints left to root for, but sadly, I have no theme song as of yet. That San Diego Super Chargers theme song was so good that I couldn't let it go (in fact, it is now on my iPod as part of my workout mix - right after the "Price Is Right" theme song), so I found a sweet video of some dude dancing to the San Diego...Chargers! theme song.

Here's how much I love this song - this video breaks two of my internet video rules: 1) The video is sideways and 2) The videographer is audibly laughing in the background. I hate those two things. Almost as much as I hate Joan Cusack and Bill Belichick. Anyway, here's the video.

San Diego Super Chargers

Wait, 2 weekend posts? I do have a life. I just forgot to include some things in the last one.

So a buddy from work (thanks, Sam) sent me this link. It's a NFL Bandwagon decider. It gives you a team that you should root for in case your team is out of the playoffs. It's awesome for several reasons, but the main reason is that it has the voice of the NFL Films guy.

If I had to pick one man to narrate my life, it would be him. Second, it would be James Earl Jones. Third, Jack Bauer. (By the way, have I mentioned that 24 starts tonight? You should watch it. I've included the Season 6 trailer below).

But I digress, the NFL Bandwagon decider told me to root for the San Diego Super Chargers. Since I'm rooting for the Super Chargers for the rest of the playoffs, I thought I would bring you their theme song. Now, let's root them onto victory over the Patriots and that douchebag Belichick (see below).



So, yeah, that's awesome. Good times. San Diego...CHARGERS!

As promised, here's the Season 6 trailer. I would put the season 6 prequel up here but it's been removed (Damn you, You Tube! This is two strikes now...don't cross me again). If you're not excited about 24, watch this before you start watching the new season, Sunday at 8 EST/7 CST. You'll have to Trust Me! You want to watch this show.



If I can find the prequel I'll post it.

Back to football...If you want another reason to root against the Patriots and hate Belichick even more, here's Belichick going for a manbrace with Mangini (the NY J-E-T-S, Jets, Jets, Jets! head coach), but before he can get there he shoves a camera dude out of the way. Not a big deal, true - but he's still a douche.



If you're a Bears fan, you may want to check out these sweet psyche up videos.

With thunderbolts and lightining,
We'll light up the skyyyyyieieieyyy!
We'll give it all we got and more,
with a Super Chargers tryyyyy!

...Go Chargers!

NFL: The Playoffs Are Nuts!

The NFL playoffs are always good times. It's really the people that step it up that make it more fun. And by people, I don't mean the football players and coaches because they go all out in the NFL week-to-week.

No, I mean the fans. When the owners jack up ticket prices, the average fan prolly can't afford to get in. This means that they are willing to do some crazy stuff to get tickets.

For instance, you may remember last year the fan that wanted someone to "come over in a Roethlisberger jersey" and "[we can't say this word here but it begins with an F] her." Never wanting to be topped by Pittsburgh, this year some Philidelphia fans are the ones bringing the shananaganery. There is a couple that wants playoff tickets sooooooo badly that they are willing to let someone call the shots when they are having sex in exchange for tickets. No word on whether someone bit on this deal, but how about that? Way to step it, Phili. How bad would it have sucked if you lost that game?

Anyway, speaking of craigslist, I thought I would share my favorite craigslist post. It's included below. It is probably somewhere between PG-13 and R, but not gonna get you in trouble at work or anything. But you kids should probably change the url in the bar at the top of your screen after the video.

What video? Well, I thought I would give you the "Aaron Brooks Glitch" shown by the Eagles in Madden. I'm not sure why this happens but the quarterback just throws the ball backwards. Watch the video and see for yourself.



Why is this called the Aaron Brooks Glitch? Because he actually threw a pass backwards about 20 yards in a game. Then Duece McAllister had to run and pick it up and take the 20 yard loss so it wasn't a lost fumble. It's about 1000 times funnier to watch it in real life. This clip was on the YouTube.com, but the NFL wanted to removed (they don't like their players looking like crap). This is prolly the first time that the YouTube.com has let me down. If I ever find it again, I'll post it.

Anyway, I promised you a craigslist post.

It's for used sex toys.

Go ahead and change the url now if you're underage.

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Ok, for everyone else, here is the post. Good times. Hope you didn't buy (or post) any of this stuff. I don't need to say anything else.

Used sex toys for sale - mw4mw

I have the following pre-owned adult toys for immediate sale:

Three-speed Vibrator with adjustable head, works great but rotator is slightly jammed with hair. $25

4 size small and extra small butt-plugs. I moved up the size rather quick so they are barely used and in perfect shape. $4 each

3 half eaten edible panties, size XXL. Flavors: virgin strawberry, smooth Irish cream, and backdoor fudge. $2.50 each

Soft rubber life-like (cock with balls) black dildo. The paint is slightly worn off at the tip but otherwise works great. $10

2 size extra small cock rings. $3 each or $5 for both.

1 set of glass anal beads. These beads have been used a lot so they are extra smooth! $8.

1 white leather sex swing, made in England. Slightly stained at the edges of leg straps. $25

Deep anal metal sphere mini-vibrator. The metal casing is slightly bent due to emergency retrieval surgery, but still vibrates perfectly well. $5