America: F- Yeah

Happy 4th of July everybody!

Last year at this time, I was packing stuff up in my apartment getting ready to move from Austin, TX to Lincoln, NE. Turns out packing sucks, so this year's celebration is starting off a little better (except for the fact that I'm at work). In any case, let's celebrate by watching a ridiculous Captain America video featuring background music from Team America: World Police



Turns out those are all from the Captain America movie (who knew) from the 90's. That's real folks.

In any case, here's an awesome America Rules/England Sucks video from Jack English.



Have a great holiday and a good weekend.

Jason Bateman Hancock Attack

Will Smith's movie Hancock comes out sometime next weekend. I can't tell if it will be good or not, but it does feature Jason Bateman. He's been making the rounds on all of the night shows, but this interview with Kieth Olberman was probably the best. Trust me.



You may have to click through to the post if you are in a reader to see this video.

I think I just blue myself...

Shaq Rapping Madness

If you have checked out the Internets or ESPN over the last 24 hours, you have probably seen this video which showed up sometime Monday morning. TMZ released a video of Shaq freestyle rapping a diss about Kobe, and since I love hip-hop, freestyling, and the Association, I'm pretty sure I need to post it.



That is nasty. It's too bad he doesn't go after Kobe more on that one because I'm pretty sure that would have made it better. That had to be one the of happiest moments of big guy's life. Well done. Of course, this isn't the first time, Shaq has done a "freestyle" diss either. Here's one of him taking on Vlade "The Godfather of Flopping" Divac.



At this point, you may be asking yourself, how did Shaq get so good at freestyle rapping? The answer? Practice. And also lots of attempts. You see, much like his free throws, Shaq only connects on about 50% of his freestyles. For instance, here's another bus freestyle from the Diesel.



And if you thought that was bad, just watch this clip from the critically acclaimed movie* Kazaam.



We genies! Of course, that's not really a freestyle. But it's still awesome a rap. Side note, iIf you really liked that, you can even watch it in Spanish!

Anyway, back to the original video - Shaq was pretty good, although I wish he sh*t all over Kobe again (MADTV warning). In any case, that had to be fun to see live, and you know some promoter somewhere is trying to setup a freestyle rap battle between Kobe and Shaq right now.

* Kazaam was actually not critically acclaimed. But it did have it's own underoos!

Italian Spiderman Parts II - IV

There's more Italian Spiderman. I'm not sure why. Really. I have no clue. But I'm sure you'll laugh.

First is part 2. I'm pretty sure this is what the party in Anchorman was like. It's a boring episode (read: no fat Spiderman), but the tongue scene should make you laugh.



After watching Part 3, I have to assume this is all just some joke video made by some college kids that they've decided to carry on for a while. Or it's just some Nintendo Wario/Spiderman cross-over.



Part 4 should be called "Cloning, Respect, and the Luche Libre" If you don't laugh multiple times while watching this, then leave the site and never come back.*



I just want to know why that dude gets the Mortal Kombat head bobbing thing going on whenever he gets surprised. I have to assume that's inconvenient a lot of the time.

* You can still come back

F--- You NBA Funny Videos for your Wednesday

I was a very not happy person last night (I don't wanna talk about it). Fortunately, I finished running (I ran 7 more miles than planned, but whatever) and was able to come back and find a couple videos to cheer me up. So, I've passed them along to you.

The first is a red band trailer for the upcoming Will Ferrell movie, Step Brothers. It's definitely NSFW.



Does Will Ferrell change character? No. Will it make me laugh? Yes.

Here's another video ridiculous movie related video. Here's Arnold's commentary related to Conan: The Barbarian. It's worth a watch. Trust me.



Finally, here's a Different Strokes episode featuring the A-Team (that means Mr. T is there folks). Oh yeah, it's also dubbed over in Japanese. If you ever wanted to hear what Mr. T sounds like in Japan, here's your chance.

Turkish Rambo: All The Killing But With More Ludicrousousity

If you have been reading this site for any length of time (which is not many of you, I know) you will by now have seen some of my favorite movie clips all time, which of course come from atrocious movies. Some of these clips include Shark Attack 3: Megalodon, Italian Spiderman, and the Undefeatable. Today, I add another to the collection - Turkish Rambo. This is 6:20 of pure bad-guy killing enjoyment (not top be confused with 1:20 of pure double enjoyment).



I don't even know what to say to that. It is awesome. Well done, Turkey. You are now my 9th favorite nation.

Videos That You Should See

I was going to do an NBA second round preview today (yes, I know the 2nd round started Saturday, but I had to wait until all the second round match-ups were decided), but there's something more pressing - a bunch of funny videos. There are 3 videos to be exact that have been (or will be) popping up all over and are worth watching.

The first is from Conan - it's his version of GTA IV. If you've ever played (or seen) GTA, you'll like it.



The second part to that video can be viewed here.

The next video is an "unaired" clip from SNL featuring Shaq and Will Ferrell. I put the quotes around unaired because I've seen this clip before and spent countless hours searching for it (for instance, I spent 30 minutes searching for it for my first NBA Playoff Preview Post). Anyway, now that I've found it, I couldn't resist posting it (it's from Funny or Die, so you'll probably have to click through to the post to see it if you're using a reader).



The last video is one of the new Marvel Vs. DC Mac/PC Parody videos. This ones pretty good and topical considering the release of Iron Man (side note, I'll have a summer movie post coming soon as well).



Have a good week.

Friday Video Attack!

Sorry about the lack of posts this week. Turns out I've been really busy at work and Shorty is on spring break this week so I haven't gotten anything posted. I haven't even played video games...I just sit and watch TV and sleep at home.

Anyway, congrats to Laura for winning the last week's Skeet Thrower Draft in a tight battle at the top. Her draft of Paris Hilton, Ann Coulter, Rosie O'Donnell, and Dustin Diamond brought home the victory. So she can celebrate until next week.

I was planning on writing a BCS List this week, but the aforementioned lack of time has forced me to push it back. To make it up to you, here is a ridiculous video dump of stuff I saw throughout the week.

First is a trailer for The Fist Foot Way, a movie that looks awesomely ridiculous. It contains NSFW language (thanks to Laura for the link.



Here's an awesome video of an NBA player getting the cold shoulder from his teammates. (A little back story, in the NBA after a free-throw, miss or make it doesn't matter, his teammates give him a little dap. But Andrew Bogut, an NBA player, talked some shit about the rest of the American NBA players. So apparently his teammates said "F- you" and didn't high-five him here.) He decides to improvise which is funny.



I don't comment on political stuff here and so I usually avoid political videos, but this one is too good to pass up.



I don't care whether you like Hilary or not, that video should make you laugh. I think that guy broke into J-Lo's "Let's Get Loud" at one point there. Also, and maybe it's just me, that video is in no way going to make me want to vote for Hilary... While we're looking at awesome music, you may remember the Bulgarian Idol video from a few posts ago, well, here's another one you should enjoy.



I'll be back in full force next week (maybe...hopefully - I'm going to be out of town from Tuesday - Sunday).

Have a good weekend.

Random Ridiculousness

I've got nothing today...well that's not true - I've just got a couple of random videos.

The first video is one of my childhood heroes demonstrating exactly why he shouldn't have been one of my childhood heroes.



Fortunately, that isn't the craziest video you'll see today. Here's Nicholas Cage punching a chick...while in a bear suit.



That's from the movie The Wicker Man I think. I don't know because I've never seen it. It only has a 3.5 rating on IMDB. I have to assume I'm better off watching Hulk and the WWF.

Re: Make It Rainn On This Film

Fresh off of last week's posts about Rainn and the 2008 Spirit Awards, I have found some more videos Rainn did for the awards. These videos are all Rainn "auditioning" for parts in the movies being awarded.

The first is Rainn trying out for Juno as the part of Juno.



The next is Rainn trying out for a part in I'm Not There.



Here's Rainn making fun of the name Winterbottom.



Here's Rainn trying out for Paranoid Park with some mad skateboarding skills. This one has a NSFW Rainn Wilson ass shot near the end, so exercise caution.



Once more clip, here's Rainn getting "initiated" by Dennis Hopper. I won't tell you what it involves, but only a crazy indie film award show would come up with this.



On a side note, I don't know if you saw the first season of 24 (and if you haven't, you really, really should), but Dennis Hopper was a pretty good bad ass in that season. His 71 year old bones would scare me if I ran into him on the streets today.

Make It Rainn On This Film

If you're missing your Dwight/The Office/Rainn Wilson fix (the show will be back in April!), I think I have something to help you out. Apparently some the Film Independent Spirit Award committee hired Rainn to make some funny videos. I've included a couple here. (On a side note, doesn't "Spirit Award" sound like a code word for "Participant"? Who likes the participant ribbons? I hated when they gave those things out at competitions I was at. Did they win? No. So why in the hell would they want to remember it? I remember I got a participant ribbon once. I threw it away on my way out of the competition.)

Here's Rainn in the 3rd (and funniest) part of his interview with Jason Reitman (the director of Juno).



The first 2 parts can be seen here and here (the 3rd is easily the funniest).

Here's Rainn interviewing Todd Haynes who directed something called I'm Not There, which I know nothing about..but the interview is funny.



I just went back and looked at the cast from the movie I'm Not There and there are apparently two characters in the movie names Hobo Joe and Hobo Moe. I'll probably see it now. Anyway, Rainn also has an interview with a fake Julian Schnabel, who I also know nothing about.

I Love Me Some Milkshakes

Well, I'm back from my trip to the NFL Combine. I wasn't allowed to go inside of the combine arena itself, so I can't give you any updates as to how a certain player performed. I can tell you that twin brothers Rex Ryan and Rob Ryan both had a double steak burger, fries and a chocolate shake at the Steak & Shake every night at around 11:45pm. I'm not kidding - and I know this because I was eating the same thing every night at the same time.

The first night my boss and I sat at Steak & Shake, I was seated facing their table (for full disclosure, there were two other guys with them as well). At one point, Rob reached across the table and stole a milkshake from one of the other guys. I laughed to myself because it was the first time I had been in the vicinity of milkshakes since I saw There Will Be Blood. What do milkshakes and TWBB have to do with each other? There was an awesome scene in that movie where Daniel Day Lewis tells the scrawny guy from The Girl Next Door/Little Miss Sunshine (Paul Dano). Here's the scene if you haven't seen the movie.

Update: I've embedded a ridiculous cutup of this scene from Metacafe because the real thing keeps getting pulled from YouTube. You get the gist of it and it makes me laugh.



Side note: I didn't really like that movie, but I don't really like Upton Sinclair either, so take that with a grain of salt. Daniel Day Lewis did just win an award for that movie last night, though. That scene made me laugh though.

I didn't try to explain that scene to my boss, who hasn't seen the movie, because I didn't think it would be that funny if I had to explain it. Then SNL (which was pretty damn good) dropped this clip on us - it made me laugh pretty hard.



The milkshake bit was well done and the screaming about abandoning his boy was genius if you've seen the movie. Well done, SNL, and keep it up.

Also, if you ever have a chance to get a Steak & Shake milkshake, I recommend it.

Conan Vs. Colbert

In the interest of full disclosure, I should let you know that I will probably be MIA after today. I'll try to sneak a post in tomorrow, but I'm not sure if it will happen. My company (that's a new and improved website and its going to be improving even more in the near future!) just completed version 1.0 of our software and so all of the full time employees are going to Vegas as a bonus/planning/bonding activity. It should be a lot of fun. Unfortunately, I highly doubt I will have time to write a post (and I may not even have access to the intermets). So, I apologize - I will be back Monday.

Anyway, last week sometime I turned on the Colbert Report to see that he still had his feud going with Conan (and they had now involved Jon Stewart). A couple nights ago (Monday, I think), Conan summarized the whole thing. I wasn't sure where he was going with it, but I laughed pretty hard. The clip is up on YouTube and I've included it here.



If you don't want to watch an entire 8 minute clip, the fight scene between Conan, Colbert and Stewart can be seen at that link. It is well worth watching because it made me laugh pretty hard.

In case I don't get something posted, here's a link to the R-rated, definitely NSFW trailer for Forgetting Sarah Marshall (the new Judd Apatow movie). I wasn't sure how I felt about it at first, but I'm pretty sure it will be funny. Besides, if it has Kenneth, how can I not love it?

I Love Old School PSAs

I love old school stuff - hip-hop, video games and tv just to name a few. That said, I just finished plowing through 3 hours of the new American Gladiators and it was awesome. There were some people who didn't like it but let's go through some of the differences to see if they are just whining:

Host: Hulk Hogan is an improvement over whoever they threw at us previously.

Gladiators: This could really be split into three categories:
Looks: They are better now (except for Helga) but that could simply be the transition from the 90's to now.
Names: A wash. Are they cheesy now (Justice, Helga, Wolf)? Yes, but are they any worse than Malibu, Blazer, Laser, Tazer...
Skill: This is an area where the old school gladiators have a distinct edge. They just didn't mess up. Ever. These new gladiators have messed up in nearly every challenge.

Events: I haven't seen all of them, but it seems like they've beefed up all of the old events and brought in some new ones that are pretty good. To top it off, the Eliminator is now badass - a certified strength drainer.

I'm sure there's other things I could talk about but in general if you liked the old school show, you should like this one. It's awesome. I love throwback shows and I wish they would have brought this earlier. Also, one other thing you can't discount - DVR. The fact that I could watch a 2 hours episode in less than an hour is awesome.

You know what else that's old school that I love? PSAs. You don't really see them anymore, but when those things would come on, I'd always perk up to hear what these celebrities had to offer. There were some awesome ones and some ridiculous ones, like this one featuring Gary Gait*.



I have no clue who that dude is (I guess he used to play lacrosse), but I'm not sure that PSA said anything. I was expecting there to be another 20 or 30 seconds...but it just stops. I guess I'll just follow suit.

In any case, here's another PSA that you probably haven't seen.



See, you shouldn't smoke or drink and you should watch American Gladiators. Now even, the Skeet Thrower is helping society.

*HT: The Big Lead

New Years Eve: Get Your Boogie On

I haven't said much about it, but I'm rocking it here in the ATX, visiting my parents (unfortunately, this meant I missed some quality Wheezy time in Omaha). The last time we visited we didn't really see them, so this time Shorty and I have spent more time with them and taken it kinda easy.

But tonight is New Year's Eve, only one of the best party nights in over the 365 day year and Shorty and I are going to a party at one of our friends' places. The awesome part was my mom asking me if we were going to go to a party (I said yes) and she was like "OK, good. Your dad and I have been invited to a couple parties and wanted to make sure that you two weren't going to be bored at home." Thanks, mom.

Anyway in preparation for New Years Eve, here are some dance moves you can bust out tonight - it the Superbad sance intro performed masterfully by a couple of chicks.



This video is an exact reason why I love the Internets. Previously, this talent would have been wasted on a few friends, maybe a home video or a a talent show. Instead, now, it is getting burn on YouTube and FunnyOrDie as well as the all-important Skeet Thrower. They even have the video split-screened so you can see how well they performed it. Bonus: both of those videos are right at 1:05, so you can even watch them at work without feeling remotely guilty.

Also, while I'm on the subject of getting your groove on, here's a video of Will Ferrell giving us a little more cowbell with Queens of the Stone Age on SNL. This actually happened and I'm not sure how I've missed it (although I feel like I've seen this before). If you ever wanted to know what Will Ferrell would have looked like if he played the cowbell for more that 30 seconds, this is your chance.



I'm not sure how anyone on that stage held it together. Jimmy Falon couldn't in the damn skit...

Have a safe New Year's, everybody (and don't do be a derka by drinking and driving, honestly). I'll be traveling tomorrow so hopefully I'll be back by Wednesday or Thursday.

See you in 2K8.

Why Is There Almost Always A Public Backlash?

Can someone explain to me why there is almost always a public backlash against something that is really popular? You know what I'm talking about - People start complaining about something, saying things like "Its not as good as it was" or "I never really liked it anyway." Its already starting with The Office (unjustifiably) in (the sadly abbreviated) season 4 and has happened over the last few seasons of 24 (perhaps justifiably) - people are starting to turn on it. Unfortunately, if enough people start murmuring, executives could talk about changing or canceling the show. The worst part about this is that the show/movie/music probably never needed changed, people just needed something to complain about.

I myself am guilty of this - I bitch about the quality of SNL (justifiably) and Tara Reid (unjustifiably), talking about how much better they used to be. To be honest, Tara Reid was just never that good (she always had that smoker/hooker voice/hair) and I should have never been that high on her to begin with. SNL, well, that's just another story.

Anyway, Will Ferrell has had a slight backlash building against him since Ricky Bobby (I guess some people didn't even like Anchorman...you bastards) and Judd Apatow had people threatening to backlash against him this summer with 2 movies coming out. Fortunately for him and us, the movies were awesome and did really well. Even if you didn't like one of the movies, you probably like the other, and they were generally well received. Well, now Apatow has another movie coming out that you've definitely seen the previews for, Walk Hard and people are already lining up to say its gonna be a flop. We'll see. Either way, Judd is poking at his critics in this funny viral marketing video featuring a bunch of his people that have been actors in his films.



You can catch this video on Funny or Die as well. Anyway, I hope Daryl from The Office (whatever his name is) starts to get a bigger role in these movies. He always makes me laugh.

Tim Meadows Walks Hard

By now, you should know me, and, so, you should know I love movies. Especially ones that feature Will Ferrell or are directed by Judd Apatow. That's why I'll be on my way to the store today to pick up the unrated version of Superbad on DVD.

Anyway, I'm sure you have seen the preview for Walk Hard: The Dewey Cox Story which comes out in 2 weeks. In case you haven't, here's an extended trailer (that you prolly haven't seen anyway).



I'll probably see it just because there's a Team Pam, Paul Rudd and inevitable Will Ferrell cameo. Altogether, I'm not sure how good this movie will be, but, if nothing else there's a cameo from the woefully underused Tim Meadows.



Not that funny you say? Well just watch this clip of Tim Meadows as the Ladies Man and tell me that you aren't excited for his cameo.



Psyche. (Does anyone even say that anymore? I just say things like Noonan or Steve Perry while others, like my brother-in-law, go for things like Terry Schaivo or Michael Vick...nobody's perfect I guess). Anyway, here's a real clip of Tim Meadows.

Robert Goulet: American Gangster

So, this weekend I saw American Gangster with Denzel Washington as Frank Lucas, a heroin kingpin of Harlem. It was good and I recommend seeing it (it is 157 minutes - thats 2 hours and 37 minutes - so its kinda long, but worth it). I won't say much about the movie other than that, because its a drama and I don't want to spoil anything. As far as the cast goes, beyond Denzel and Russel Crowe, I was interested to see the 3rd-tier supporting cast for this movie. That's right the 3rd-tier guys, not the main people or their supporting actors (whom I would consider 2nd-tier), but the rest of the cast.

Why was I interested in the rest of the cast? Because, Jay-Z was producing the music for the movie and I figured he and his crew/posse/boys would have a cameo/minor part as a result of this fact (and more than likely, mess it up). Turns out that the movie features hip-hop artists Common, RZA and T.I. who all perform very well in their smaller roles. No Jay-Z, and, strangely, no new Jay-Z songs (there was one older song). Turns out the director's wanted to go with a 70's feel for the music, and so Jay-Z is instead releasing a concept CD "inspired" by the movie (the last time I heard a CD called a concept album, it was Dr. Dre promoting something called Detox. which has only been delayed like 5-6 years...but that's another post - I digress). I really know nothing about Jay-Z's new album. I hope its better than his last one - because that one sucked. Fortunately for us, Jay-Z has done a lot of things that don't suck, like this skit with Will Ferrell.



That's right, a second Robert Goulet SNL Skit, this time with profanity (that's really old but for some reason I had never seen that one...or just don't remember it)! Goulet really appears to have that gangsta thing down. Why wasn't he in American Gangster, you ask? Well, you may or may not know, but Goulet passed away last week (RIP). And even though they film the movie months in advance, they removed the scenes he was in the movie because they felt it was poor taste. Everything in the last sentence is also false - he simply was not in the movie. In any case, most people in 18-30 range (so, pretty much everyone that reads this blog...all 8 of us) best know Goulet from those skits or perhaps this Emerald Nuts commercial from the SuperBowl.



I think that was my favorite commercial from the Super Bowl. Well done, Goulet. Well done, indeed.

R. Kelly Breaks the 4th Wall

Remember when R. Kelly released the DVD of Trapped in the Closet? I guess I didn't realize it, but there are 22 parts to that thing. 22! And you can watch all 22 parts for free here (I'm gonna be honest, I'm not sure why you'd do it except for the comedy - the midget that jumps out of the cabinet - part 10 I think - makes me laugh every time).



In any case, R. Kelly, has taken everything to a new level. With his new song, Real Talk. Not only does he sing in rhyme, but he also mixes in some communication directly to the audience.



Only R. Kelly could use the "Were there other guys in the same place as me because even though I was hooking up with those chicks they were probably there with another dude plus I gave you money to get your hair and nails done" defense as a way to get say he wasn't cheating.

And why are those dudes fighting in the studio? Did they just realize that R. Kelly had used that defense with them when he was at their daughter's high-school prom? "Were there other dudes at that prom? Were there other dudes? Yes, I was there and your daughter was there, but I didn't pee on her. Were there other dudes there? They probably peed on her. Didn't I give you money? Go ahead and burn my clothes. I don't give a f---." I guarantee you that one guy was already on edge because R. Kelly showed up at his daughter's prom, and now that other dude was jabbing him about it and then the fight broke out. Right in the middle of R Kelly's song. Let him finish the song boys. Can't you see its a work of art? Just like most things (but not everything) that Will Ferrell does.

What Did I Do This Summer?

Two of my big plans at the beginning of the summer included making sure I drafted Drew Brees very high in my fantasy football drafts and watching a lot of movies. As I'm watching Bress single-handedly destroying the only fantasy team on which I got him (seriously, 5 turnovers...d-bag), I realized that since fall has officially begun, the summer movie season is over (I'm pretty sure it was over after Super Bad came out, but I'm not sure - maybe there were a few more movies. When did the Bourne Ultimatum come out? I'm not sure.). Anyway, at this point, I can look back over the movies I saw and the onesI missed but had originally wanted to see and give you a quick (1-2 sentence rundown).

• Pirates 3 - Didn't see it. Heard it was ok. Waiting for DVD.


• Shrek 3 - Didn't see it. Heard it was subpar compared to I & II. Waiting for DVD.


• Spiderman 3 - Saw it. It was ok but I was kinda bored. Thought they underused Venom.
  
  Fortunately, someone came up with a video of how Spiderman 3 should have gone (here's a 30 second recap of 1 & 2 if you forgot what happened).

Oh well. I guess it was better than Spaderman (spoiler: there's an Ackbar cameo!)



What was I talking about...ah yes, movies.

• Knocked Up - Brilliant. DVD comes out today.


• Evan Almighty - Didn't see it because I heard too many bad things. That said, Steve Carrell's part as Evan is one of my favorite parts of Bruce Almighty, so I'll see this on DVD.


• Live Free or Die Hard - Awesome. If you love Die Hard, you'll love this. Also, if you didn't watch that Die Hard music video, do it.


• Transformers - A near perfect representation of my second favorite toys growing up behind Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (with Transforming Turtles somewhere in between) but ahead of Lego's (how did they make black Lego's).


• License to Wed - Shorty wanted to see this, but I think the last funny thing Robin Williams did was that stand-up he did on HBO.


• I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry - I like Kevin James (I actually think he was really funny in Hitch) and Adam Sandler made me cry when I first saw Happy Gilmore, but I didn't see it. As you can tell, there are too many movies on this list when you factor in other things like tv and sleeping (and moving and working I guess).


• Superbad - My favorite movie of the summer. This was like the best of 40 Year Old Virgin meets American Pie. Some people didn't like this, but after a clip like this, how can you not like this movie.

• The Simpsons Movie - Saw it. Felt like I just watched a 90 minute episode of The Simpsons. Take it or leave it. The season premiere of the TV show started with an intro that picked up from the movie if you saw it.


• Bourne Ultimatum - Wanted to see it, but it didn't make it.


• Rush Hour 3 - Didn't see it. Did you know Chris Tucker was still alive. Who didn't love Friday. I liked the first 2 Rush Hours, but I have to assume it was exactly the same as the first two.

As you can see, there are a bunch of movies I didn't even consider seeing. For instance, Ratatouille (which I heard was good), Harry Potter (never seen any of them) or Daddy Day Camp. Did you know that Daddy Day Camp was directed by Fred Savage and featured Cuba Gooding. Jr. picking up a role that Eddie Murphy refused. What the hell happened to you Cuba? You were awesome in Jerry Maguire and made me tear up in Radio. Then you were perfect in Boat Trip. Nevermind. If you were going to do a crappy sequel, you should have tried to get in on Spiderman.