After Dark: Strippers and Dwayne Wade Sex

The after dark portion of this blog continues this week with a couple of ridiculous items. First, to the right, is a picture of Dwayne Wade on a box of Sueper Sex Pills. I have no clue where this box is from (obviously Asia somewhere) but I'm pretty sure no matter where you are, Sueper is not the right spelling. Furthermore, there's no way Dwayne Wade allowed himself to be on this box. This pic came from the outstanding basketball blog Basketbawful they said that this pic of Wade came from the front of NBA Live '06 so I guess it's spelling and legal fail on part of the Sueper Sex pills.

Next, is a video of a webcam stripper fail from the always good Fail Blog. It's moderately NSFW (no nudity, but she's scantly clad) but worth the watch. Trust me.

Italian Spiderman Parts V & VI

I love these crazy Italian Spiderman videos are some of my favorite things. They are ridiculous and over the top. It's gotta be fake though (I echoed this in my last Italian Spiderman post), but after seeing things like this I wasn't sure.

So I decided to research it (and by research I mean type "Italian Spiderman" into Wikipedia). The all knowing encyclopedia says that it is a joke being made by an Australian production company. It also says that it started out as just a for a student film (which I also nailed). All-in-all, it's kinda disappointing, although it probably says better things about our world.

Anyway, without further ado, here's part V featuring a 2-minute a fat guy in yellow sweat suit, the mortal kombat head swivel guy (in the background), and a 2-minute psychadelic drug ending (seriously just quit watching after the mortal kombat dude appears).



Here is Part VI, which I call "LOST: Italian Spiderman" because it's the only way to describe it...



Have a good weekend.

Jason Bateman Hancock Attack

Will Smith's movie Hancock comes out sometime next weekend. I can't tell if it will be good or not, but it does feature Jason Bateman. He's been making the rounds on all of the night shows, but this interview with Kieth Olberman was probably the best. Trust me.



You may have to click through to the post if you are in a reader to see this video.

I think I just blue myself...

Crazy Chuck E. Cheese Action

I used to love Chuck E. Cheese and Showbiz Pizza because I loved all of the video games there. Of course, my family would always go order a large pizza and invariably sit in front of the electronic gorilla/mouse depending on the restaurant. I always hated the songs they sang, but this one would be awesome.



I don't even like that song - I think the lyrics are ridiculous. Here's an even more ridiculous one featuring Shakira. Side note: My brother came up with alternate lyrics to this song that you'll never forget: "Oh baby when you talk like that, you make my p*ssy all wet." A bit crude? Yes. Hilarious? Yes. Sing them to yourselves while watching this video.



I'm not sure what it is about those videos - I'm pretty sure it's the memories mixed with the outrageous intro discussion mixed with bad singing mixed with a few margaritas - but they make me laugh.

Shaq Rapping Madness

If you have checked out the Internets or ESPN over the last 24 hours, you have probably seen this video which showed up sometime Monday morning. TMZ released a video of Shaq freestyle rapping a diss about Kobe, and since I love hip-hop, freestyling, and the Association, I'm pretty sure I need to post it.



That is nasty. It's too bad he doesn't go after Kobe more on that one because I'm pretty sure that would have made it better. That had to be one the of happiest moments of big guy's life. Well done. Of course, this isn't the first time, Shaq has done a "freestyle" diss either. Here's one of him taking on Vlade "The Godfather of Flopping" Divac.



At this point, you may be asking yourself, how did Shaq get so good at freestyle rapping? The answer? Practice. And also lots of attempts. You see, much like his free throws, Shaq only connects on about 50% of his freestyles. For instance, here's another bus freestyle from the Diesel.



And if you thought that was bad, just watch this clip from the critically acclaimed movie* Kazaam.



We genies! Of course, that's not really a freestyle. But it's still awesome a rap. Side note, iIf you really liked that, you can even watch it in Spanish!

Anyway, back to the original video - Shaq was pretty good, although I wish he sh*t all over Kobe again (MADTV warning). In any case, that had to be fun to see live, and you know some promoter somewhere is trying to setup a freestyle rap battle between Kobe and Shaq right now.

* Kazaam was actually not critically acclaimed. But it did have it's own underoos!

After Dark: Talking to 2 Girls at One Time

Sometimes I find funny/ridiculous videos and I don't really like to post them during the week because they are NSFW. As such, I've decided to introduce a new segment called Skeet Thrower: After Dark. These intermittent posts will randomly occur on the weekend and contain videos that you probably shouldn't watch at work.

The first video is from a crappy chat line commercial.



1) Who thought those girls were hot?
2) What kind of bikinis are they wearing? That just looks like bad early 90's underwear.
3) What kind of phones are they talking on? They look like regular corded phones that have just been unplugged
4) Seriously?
5) And finally, no, I don't think I actually can handle talking to two girls at one time.

Friday Dance Craze

It's Friday and we should celebrate by seeing some ridiculous dancing.

First, here's Maury's you're not the father dance.



Then, here's Darth Vader breaking it down Thriller style.



If you enjoyed that, here's the full video.

Finally, here's Mario Lopez as a gay young pirate.



Have a good weekend.

Blogger/Office Attack

If you visit the site you're used to seeing a 3 columns thing. Well, something is wrong with Blogger and that's gone all to hell. Today the sh*t hit the fan and now my template is all jacked up. I'll fix it this weekend.

In any case, here's an office battle that you should see. The place I used to work rocked out rubberband fights and the place I currently work has nerf guns, but this is over the top and awesome.



Also, in case you didn't see, the Celtics won the NBA championship last night. It wasn't a very good game, but Garnett's speech afterwards was unreal.

Italian Spiderman Parts II - IV

There's more Italian Spiderman. I'm not sure why. Really. I have no clue. But I'm sure you'll laugh.

First is part 2. I'm pretty sure this is what the party in Anchorman was like. It's a boring episode (read: no fat Spiderman), but the tongue scene should make you laugh.



After watching Part 3, I have to assume this is all just some joke video made by some college kids that they've decided to carry on for a while. Or it's just some Nintendo Wario/Spiderman cross-over.



Part 4 should be called "Cloning, Respect, and the Luche Libre" If you don't laugh multiple times while watching this, then leave the site and never come back.*



I just want to know why that dude gets the Mortal Kombat head bobbing thing going on whenever he gets surprised. I have to assume that's inconvenient a lot of the time.

* You can still come back

Vern Fonk: Part II

One of my favorite posts in my 300+ posts was a post about Vern Fonk Insurance (I said in the post that I would start saying the word Shipopi more and I have).

Well, there's a ton of Vern Fonk videos on YouTube, and I finally watched a few more of them. And now, I'll pass that forward by showing you a couple of the best. Here's one that is called Fonk to the Future.



If you ever wanted to see the Vern Fonk guy cross dress, now is your chance.



Finally, here's a couple Napolean Dynamite ones that are kinda funny.

Lakers Crying: Always Funny

In 2003, my Spurs beat the Lakers. That was awesome for me as a Spurs fan. As a bonus, here this was what happened at the end of that game.



Crying! Good times. Well done. In any case, after last night's debacle in the Staples center, Sasha Vujacic decided to join in on the act about 5 years too late.



That was almost as good as the first time for me...I probably laughed harder at this one. Well done, Sasha.

Real Life vs. My Life

Well, as I said on Monday, I just returned from Vegas. I've said before, I think Vegas is like Disneyland for adults - life just doesn't seem real there. That said, I think I live a lot of my life on the webernets and it turns out that isn't real either. Fortunately, my boy Vasquez sent me this video to sort things out.



I never watch/read Red vs. Blue but that video might force me to do so. Anyway, now that I know what's real and what's not, it's time to put it to the test. Here's a video, you tell me if you think it's real.



OK, so not only is that not real (was anything on 90210 really plausible?) but its a modified clip from the show. Still funny and ridiculous. You know what else is ridiculous? The guy singing in that video, David Silver Brian Austin Green (featuring bonus white rap music video!), is railing Megan Fox.

In any case, here's one more video - I'm more inclined to believe this is real except for the multiple angle things. Either way, it's always funny to see people get pissed and start overreacting - and this video has that.

Time for some White Rap

I spent the last few days in Las Vegas. I'll spare you the details but I ended up +$235so it went pretty well. Unfortunately, I didn't get to play any Casino War. That said, not playing war may have contributed to me being plus $235.

In any case, I figured I'd come back with what I'm best at: white rap.

In honor of the NBA Finals going on right now (more on that later this week), here's an awesome Converse featuring Magic Johnson and Larry Bird. There are 2 white guys in this commercial and it should remind you that the 80's were awesome.



Speaking of awkward, here's Dr. Dre's "Bitches Ain't Shit" sung a cappella. If you have never heard this song/haven't heard it for a long time I think you'll be blown away by the amount of swear words present.

I Can Satisfy You

And not in some creepy R. Kelly/P. Diddy way, but rather with some awesome videos.

That said, here's a guy that will satisfy you in a different way.



The #1 butt satisfier? That sounds like a crazy porn title that you could win. I'm gonna be honest, if I'm ever voted the #1 satisfier of anything, I'll probably celebrate like this.

Mortal Kombat!

One of my favorite games growing up was Mortal Kombat. Just about every version of that was a lot of fun and I spent way to much time trying to get the fatalities to work. In any case, here's a video about fatalities that made me laugh. There may be some inappropriate things said in this video.



Speaking of fatalities, here's a video with a ton of the MK3 fatalities.



BTW: Make sure to tell Wheezy happy birthday today.