Monday, May 28, 2007

National Anthem Disasters

Happy Memorial Day everybody. I love Memorial Day because its not a busy holiday and no one really ever makes plans so it turns into a real day off. So, since its a holiday, I'll keep it short today.

Anyway, what better way to celebrate Memorial Day than by taking a look at people who have butchered the Star-Spangled Banner. Some of these are real trainwrecks. To help avopid them in the future, I have created a few key rules that you should follow when singing/preparing to sing The National Anthem.

Rule #1: Don't Be Canadian.

This one should be pretty straight-forward. I don't sing your, you don't sing mine. Perhaps a video will help explain (make sure you make it to the end).

That was God/karma attack. Don't screw with The Anthem.

Rule #2: Know the f---ing words.

I'm looking at you, Michael Bolton. You were born in America - how do you mess this up? Its not that hard. Holy nuts.

Rule #3: Just sing the Anthem.

This one is a tough rule. I understand that you want to add your own flair to the song. That's fine. Just don't go overboard. I'll let Carl Lewis (sorry no video) explain this one for us.

Honestly, people. It isn't that hard. If you want a good example, watch this from Whitney Houston (sorry, anytime I mention her, I have to show that video...its a rule). Of course, I'll make an exception for non-professional minors. I'll end the today's post with mistake that has a heart-warming ending thanks to a save by Mo' Cheeks.

Have a good holiday.


D Wheezy said...

I've got another disaster to add to the list. I hated her show almost as much as I hated the movie She-Devil.

In order to offset that travesty, here's Jimi doing a Vietnam protest version. Flies directly in the face of Rule #3, but desperate times I suppose...

Double M said...

God I hate Rosanne. There's talk of her replacing Rosie (another chick that is so Raven that I also hate) on The View. That would be an atrocity.

Also, I guess I should make a "you're cool" exception for certain people like Jimi.

D Wheezy said...

I forgot that Rosie was an "actress". Probably because I had to block her previous performances out of my mind forever.

That was one of my most disappointing moments in HBO rating explanations history. "Rated R for Nudity" then you get Rosie in leather. Worse even than when The Crush swapped out naked Alicia Silverstone for naked Carrie Elwes.

Although let's be honest. Elwes has got it going on.