Random Phoenix Post

I'm sitting in Phoenix right now where the weather is beautiful and I'm trying not to celebrate too loudly because my Spurs just dominated the Suns. I'm just as excited as this weatherman about a specific number...



OK, I'm not that excited, but I'm still happy about the win. In a non-creepy kinda way. Anyway, to celebrate Phoenix's demise, here's a ridiculous video of Phoenix players intertwined with soap opera clips.

Bizarro World Day

A majority of you probably didn't read comics growing up, but I did. I always felt one of the worst story lines was the "Bizarro" world people just because they didn't make any sense (that said the Bizarro Seinfeld story line was awesome). In any case, here's a video about Bizarro superheros. I'm not sure what it was, but this video made me laugh.



Oh yeah, it was the line "I'd grab her" - that definitely made me laugh. Anyway, speaking of Bizarro worlds, here's Snoop performing with Willie Nelson.



That dance is ridiculous. If you wanna see a higher res version there's one here (warning - it has 28 secs of dark time up front).

Wednesday = FAIL Day

Quick Skeet Thrower update. If you come to the site, you may notice a little change in the top left corner of my blog. Well, I've finally decided to make the jump to Twitter. I didn't really have any great reason to do it - other than to bitch about random people when I'm not at a computer - but I've finally got a decent idea:

There are times when I add items to my shared feed that I really want to comment on something or point out something specific in the article. Well, Twitter will allow me to do that. So, if you want to get updates from me throughout the day, you can follow me on Twitter, or subscribe to my Twitter RSS feed. The nice thing about Twitter is that the messages are all less than 160 characters, so its not like there's a lot of extra stuff.

Anyway, today is FAIL day. First, we're going to see a failure at singing combined with a stalkerish video from some chick named Haven Nutt (who just happens to be the daughter of new Ole Miss coach, Houston Nutt) - you'd think with a last name like Nutt that you wouldn't be wanting to draw attention to yourself, but Nutt,Haven powers through and gives us this awesome/ridiculous video.


HT: EDSBS

Not to be outdone, Heidi Montag decided to try and rap the other day on TRL. It was a train wreck. Now I love bad rap videos, but this may take the cake. I have watched this like 30+ times.



Here's the lyrics in case you were too busy laughing:

Yo, yo
I got Heidiwood
I’m wearing it all day
I like it, so what do you got to say
You got apple bottoms, what
You know what’s going up
Um, keep going, I’ll keep flowing
You know what I like to say
Everyday, I’m in New York
It’s all good this way

God help us all if she's a future celebrity...

Attack of the Cougars

Remember a week ago when I said SNL didn't put up my favorite clips from an episode? Well, one of my favorite clips showed up on YouTube - its called the Cougar's Den. Enjoy it while it lasts.



While we're on the topic of older women, here's Hilary (she's an older woman...not a cougar though), Obama, and McCain doing promos for the WWE.



There is a reason candidates don't do this sort of thing usually - because they aren't actors. They come across flat. That said, its kinda funny to hear Obama drop The Rock's lines. Also, how much money would you pay to see McCain reread the transcript from this Hulkster rant.

Chinese MC Hammer

Quick business to get out of the way:

- I told you on Friday to watch the Suns-Spurs match up and it didn't disappoint. The first game had an NCAA tourney style feel with a bonus 3 pointer from Tim Duncan.



- Here is a simulation of a conversation I have had like 6 times this weekend:
"Random Person: Question - Is that Kobe commercial real?
Me: Answer - False."

That's real life ladies and gentlemen. Do you really think that Kobe or the Lakers or his agent or the shoe company or anyone who understands how much Kobe is worth right now (the NBA will make millions with him in the playoffs) would actually tell him to go jump a speeding car? I could write a whole post about this.

- There's only one pick I'd like to change after watching the first games: Utah wins in a sweep. Also, Jon, if it makes you feel any better, Utah threw that game in San Antonio last week because their playoff seeding was a lot better that way.

- Wheezy said in the comments that there were Hammer pants one of the videos (its the LeBron one) and that reminded of this video. So here's an awesome MC Hammer dance by some Asian kid in his living room (while his mom sows and doesn't flinch?!?)



Have a good week.

Skeet Thrower NBA Playoff Preview: First Round

Well, its my 3rd favorite time of the year: the NBA playoffs. 40+ nights of good basketball, the return of good weather, the usually awesome season finale period of TV shows, and what used to be the end of school (but is now just the end of school for Shorty which is still cool because she stays up later than 9:30 pm during the summer) all add up to be a pretty bad ass time.

Soooooo, I've decided to give you my NBA playoff preview. Its a round-by-round format, so there will hopefully be a few more of these later. Fortunately, I won't really talk to much about basketball - it will be all about internet videos with some basketball sprinkled in.

Eastern Conference

Boston (1) vs. Hotlanta (8)

This one's pretty easy, Boston should roll, probably in a sweep. Here's the evidence:

Boston:



Atlanta:



Given that, how could you not pick Boston? That's what I thought.

Detroit (2) vs. Illadelph (7)

You may or may not remember, but about 3 years ago we saw the exact same match up. The Pistons will win this in 5, maybe 6 if they get bored (but let's be honest, without Allen Iverson, the Sixers are F'd). Or if Andre Igoudala drops a chicken noodle soup dance on them.

Detroit:



Phili:



Orlando (3) vs. Toronto (6)

Orlando will win this, but only because they have Superman on their team. This one could be close though. If you want to see some monster dunks, watch Orlando; if you want to see an NBA team with 5 white guys on the floor at the same time, watch Toronto.

Orlando:



Toronto:



That Chris Bosh stuff does make me laugh, but I'd put my money on the guy who changed all-star weekend.

Cleveland (4) vs. Washington (5)

This will be the best series in the east for the first round. Its the best basketball player in the world, LeBron James, versus 3 really good players on Washington - one of whom is a former man crush of mine, Gilbert Arenas. No one else in this series matters. I would go ahead and pick the Cavs just because I can't pick LeBron to lose in the first round.

Cleveland:



Washington:



Western Conference

The west is gonna be good top to bottom. There are going to be some awesome serieseseses here, so if you're going to watch any of the NBA playoffs, I would recommend watching these.

LA Lakers (1) vs. Denver (8)

Kobe is on the Lakers, so I'm not picking against them in the first round. Plus Denver doesn't play defense. Plus Denver's best player (Carmelo Anthony) just got picked up for a DUI. Plus, if you believe the NBA is rigged at times, LA is the 2nd biggest TV market. Just saying.

Lakers (I'm including this video because it is all over the Internets right now):



Denver:



New Orleans (2) vs. Dallas (7)

I hate Dallas (the team not the city), so I'm going to go with New Orleans. If you want a real reason, its because Dallas always chokes. Always. Always. This series should be a lot of fun to watch though.

New Orleans:



Dallas (keep in mind this is their best player):



San Antonio (3) vs. Phoenix (6)

You know the story about an older brother who beats a younger brother at everything and even when the younger brother gets good at something, the older brother comes in and beats them at it, and so the younger brother ends up all pissed off but the older brother just laughs. So the younger brother goes and gets dad to team up on the younger brother to try and win it all. That's the Spurs (older brother) and the Suns (younger brother). There will not be a more competitive series this entire post season. Watch this.

San Antonio (with sweet crappy local commercial flair!):



Phoenix:



Utah(4) vs. Houston (5)

Thanks to the clusterfuck that is the NBA there is a team in Utah that is named the Jazz. Normally, his would be enough to make me pick against them - fortunately for them, they are playing the weakest team in the playoffs. Utah wins in 6, even though they should sweep (but they won't because they suck on the road).

Utah (here's the most awkward interview, all time):



Houston (this video is of the Rockets trying to imitate their teammate, Dikembe Mutumbo):



Have a good weekend.

SNL + Ashton Was Pretty Good

SNL was new this week and there were some pretty funny parts. I think there's only 2 SNL's left this season, but I can tell you right now that this season has been one of the best in years. My only major complaint with the latest episode was the large number of skits that Keenan appeared in. I have no clue how much input the guest host has during a week on the cast involvement but it seems like Ashton went with Keenan a lot.I don't get it.

This is normally where I would show you the best clips. Unfortunately, SNL picks which clips to show, so here are my fourth and fifth favorite clips from the week.

#4



#5



To make up for the lame clips, here's an awesome clip from South Park a couple weeks ago.

This is South Park's take on a pretty famous internet video (warning - prolly NSFW language and gay content - not that there's anything wrong with that).



Later in that episode, here's where South Park had a bunch of "internet stars" battle it out.

Cookin With Coolio Part 3

I yet again failed to complete a BCS list...but I tried damn hard. I wanted to post something anyway, so here's a couple awesome Cookin With Coolio videos to tide you over for the weekend.

Game Day Turkey (this one is ridiculous):



Swashbucklin' Schrimp (Coolio is rocking some sweet costumes in this one):



Have a good weekend.

The Office is Back!

I feel like I just wrote this post about 6 months ago...The Office is back tonight (A brief aside, Ross told me that I should have posted this yesterday, but I didn't want to tempt you a day early). I was torn, but, ultimately decided to wait until today (sorry, Ross).

Anyway, I usually focus on Pam, Karen, Jim and Dwight, but here's an awesome compilation of Michael Scott's various dance moves.



In other news from The Office, NBC has greenlighted a spinoff for next spring. I don't know what to think of this yet, but, to be honest, I don't know how you can be upset about it. I love The Office.

Sticking with the NBC theme, since I didn't post on Monday, you might have missed that Christopher Walken hosted SNL for the 7th time and it was pretty good. You may have caught some of the sketches already, but here are a couple of my favorites if you haven't seen them yet.

The first is called Surprise Party.



The second is a Walken Family Reunion. This skit would be genius if it wasn't for Keenan butchering it near the end.

I Hate The WNBA

I usually go work out fairly early after work. But, last night, I decided to go work out late. Usually I work out late. This meant several things, but only a couple that are pertinent to this post: 1) I watched the 6pm SportsCenter and 2) I saw the 10pm SportsCenter at the gym.

Normally, this would be a good thing, especially on the heels of a fantastic NCAA national championship game Monday. Instead, I was force fed Tennessee women's basketball and, more specifically, Candace Parker. Now I have talked about the WNBA before, but let me clarify something - I am not against women's athletics, or even women's basketball for that matter. I just hate that the its being shoved down my throat by the NBA and ESPN.

Just stop selling it to me as the same game. Don't say "We Got Next," don't include them in the All-Star weekend or dunk contests, and don't tell me that the Tennessee women's basketball team could beat the best male high-school basketball team - they couldn't (side note, there's a reason those college squads get guys for their practice squads).

Honestly, women's basketball not exciting to watch unless you know someone on the team. Watching the WNBA/NCAAWBB is like watching Nascar for the wrecks - its only awesome when you get things like this picture happening. Fortunately, there's other people that think like me.



Sorry for the rant. It's a little early this year, but only because I'm preparing for the onslaught of WNBA commercials that are going to come with the NBA playoffs. To make up for it, here's an awesome Kiss Cam video



(I don't remember where I got both of these videos, but I'm pretty sure it was Basketbawful, an awesome NBA blog if you're into that sorta thing.)

Dumb Song And Dance Edition

I feel like I owe you an explanation. I have been building my emergency bunker in case Kansas somehow defied odds and failed to choke. Which they did(?!?), and now, sadly, this will be my last post as I retreat to my bunker and pray to God to save me from the apocalypse.
...
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Actually I was up visiting my new favorite NFL team and then I was at a wedding in Houston. I left my laptop with my wife, so I was computerless except for my phone which isn't quite a smart phone so my browsing is limited.

In any case, I'm coming back to with 2 ridiculous videos.

The first is some sort of ridiculous commercial for a laser synthesizer. Its bad enough at the start, but wait until it gets to the rock band part...



Brief side note, my wife has a synthesizer/keyboard thing and on the "DJ 2" setting you can make all kinds of crazy sex noises with the thing. They probably weren't intended to be sex noises, but they definitely sound like sex noises. I'm not sure if this keyboard has sex noises but I would recommend not buying it if it doesn't, because, I'm telling you, that's the best part of Shorty's keyboard. To be fair, I wouldn't really recommend buying this thing at all. You'd look like a douche while playing it.

Speaking of looking like a douche, here's a new dance "craze" (and I use quotations because if I haven't seen it in the club then its probably not really a craze), the Dança do Quadrado is a Brazilian thing (so its Portuguese - which slowed me down on the whole FreeTranslation front), and it means Dances of the Square in English. I'll say this - if you don't laugh while watching this, you either know this dance or hate midgets.



I think they are just making that up as they go. What dance involves being mounted by a midget while doing push-ups. I can't tell who I feel worse for, the people in that video or the kid from the beamz lazer music thing above that is about to attacked by that old man.

Hope you had a good weekend.

Nerdy Website Rap

I have nothing else to say except that I'm sorry I haven't posted this until now.



Here's another one about paid searching.



Nothing like hearing a remixed version of one of my favorite rap songs all time. If you want to check out more from the Poetic Prophet, check out that link.