Friday, April 18, 2008

Skeet Thrower NBA Playoff Preview: First Round

Well, its my 3rd favorite time of the year: the NBA playoffs. 40+ nights of good basketball, the return of good weather, the usually awesome season finale period of TV shows, and what used to be the end of school (but is now just the end of school for Shorty which is still cool because she stays up later than 9:30 pm during the summer) all add up to be a pretty bad ass time.

Soooooo, I've decided to give you my NBA playoff preview. Its a round-by-round format, so there will hopefully be a few more of these later. Fortunately, I won't really talk to much about basketball - it will be all about internet videos with some basketball sprinkled in.

Eastern Conference

Boston (1) vs. Hotlanta (8)

This one's pretty easy, Boston should roll, probably in a sweep. Here's the evidence:

Boston:



Atlanta:



Given that, how could you not pick Boston? That's what I thought.

Detroit (2) vs. Illadelph (7)

You may or may not remember, but about 3 years ago we saw the exact same match up. The Pistons will win this in 5, maybe 6 if they get bored (but let's be honest, without Allen Iverson, the Sixers are F'd). Or if Andre Igoudala drops a chicken noodle soup dance on them.

Detroit:



Phili:



Orlando (3) vs. Toronto (6)

Orlando will win this, but only because they have Superman on their team. This one could be close though. If you want to see some monster dunks, watch Orlando; if you want to see an NBA team with 5 white guys on the floor at the same time, watch Toronto.

Orlando:



Toronto:



That Chris Bosh stuff does make me laugh, but I'd put my money on the guy who changed all-star weekend.

Cleveland (4) vs. Washington (5)

This will be the best series in the east for the first round. Its the best basketball player in the world, LeBron James, versus 3 really good players on Washington - one of whom is a former man crush of mine, Gilbert Arenas. No one else in this series matters. I would go ahead and pick the Cavs just because I can't pick LeBron to lose in the first round.

Cleveland:



Washington:



Western Conference

The west is gonna be good top to bottom. There are going to be some awesome serieseseses here, so if you're going to watch any of the NBA playoffs, I would recommend watching these.

LA Lakers (1) vs. Denver (8)

Kobe is on the Lakers, so I'm not picking against them in the first round. Plus Denver doesn't play defense. Plus Denver's best player (Carmelo Anthony) just got picked up for a DUI. Plus, if you believe the NBA is rigged at times, LA is the 2nd biggest TV market. Just saying.

Lakers (I'm including this video because it is all over the Internets right now):



Denver:



New Orleans (2) vs. Dallas (7)

I hate Dallas (the team not the city), so I'm going to go with New Orleans. If you want a real reason, its because Dallas always chokes. Always. Always. This series should be a lot of fun to watch though.

New Orleans:



Dallas (keep in mind this is their best player):



San Antonio (3) vs. Phoenix (6)

You know the story about an older brother who beats a younger brother at everything and even when the younger brother gets good at something, the older brother comes in and beats them at it, and so the younger brother ends up all pissed off but the older brother just laughs. So the younger brother goes and gets dad to team up on the younger brother to try and win it all. That's the Spurs (older brother) and the Suns (younger brother). There will not be a more competitive series this entire post season. Watch this.

San Antonio (with sweet crappy local commercial flair!):



Phoenix:



Utah(4) vs. Houston (5)

Thanks to the clusterfuck that is the NBA there is a team in Utah that is named the Jazz. Normally, his would be enough to make me pick against them - fortunately for them, they are playing the weakest team in the playoffs. Utah wins in 6, even though they should sweep (but they won't because they suck on the road).

Utah (here's the most awkward interview, all time):



Houston (this video is of the Rockets trying to imitate their teammate, Dikembe Mutumbo):



Have a good weekend.

2 comments:

snowpunter said...

San Antonio is a cursed city. I was at the game with a few of siblings that were in town, cheering for the first Jazz win in the city since '99.

Then that abomination happened.

I hate Duncan, Parker, Gin-I get a nosebleed like a little girl when someone breathes on me piece of crap argentine.

There. I said it.

-marsh

D Wheezy said...

There was both a Vanilla Ice dance and parachute pants in that series of commercials. I think the NBA might be a little behind the times.