It's a Kramer Explosion!

Check out this clip of Kramer (aka Michael Richards) going off at his stand up. He's legitamitely going nuts. Thankfully there is subtitles so you can see all the n-bombs and f-bombs he drops. Probably the best part is when someone calls him out - I love his reasoning..."Well you interrupted me, pal!" It ends with him walking off the stage, but I thought he was gonna go throw down fisticuffs, Stephen Jackson style on the dudes in the audience. That would have capped this off.



Here's his awkward apology. This might be the best part. First, the audience starts laughing. Most of them have no clue this is real. Some of them start laughing from the beginning. Then Kramer drops "Afro-Americans," the audience laughs again and then they get scolded by Seinfeld. Good times. Potentially, the audience is laughing that awkward laugh, like "Hey, I have no f-ing clue what to do right now, so I'm going to kind of chuckle...".



You also realize that Seinfeld Season 7 comes out on DVD in the near future...just saying...

Someone Trying to Hack My Blog and How Not to Rob a Store

I really didn't do anything this weekend. I watched a lot of Season 4 of 24 (its really good and for as much as I love Bauer, I haven't seen it yet), watched a lot of college football and played quite a bit of Nintendo Wii (which is quite possibly the coolest inventions of my life time - that's right it may be up there with cell phones and the internets). I'm sure you'll hear me talk about the Wii in the future.

Anyway, I came home and pulled up my computer and found out some bastards had found a backdoor in my FTP and hacking into my CPU. They hadn't really done anything yet, but since they had turned off my virus scanner and my num lock (!?!), I assumed something was coming. So, I'm tracking you SOB's - if you read this. Although, if you read this, you prolly already know way to much about me, and now I'm a little scared. I should call Jack Bauer.

So to commemorate someone trying to hack my computer (say that last sentence in your nerdiest voice), I leave you with a video showing how not to rob a store.



I've had this video in waiting, but I think Gorilla Mask beat me to the punch. Damn you, internets!

A.C. Slater Oh My!

I'm floored. My wife just watched the end of Dancing with the (B-C list) Stars Deuce (ok, I was sitting here with her) and Emmitt Smith (probably the only bonafied star on the show) just won. And he was damn good too.

I was prepared for Slater in all of his glorious gayness to win. In fact, I had already written a post about it (which is why this post is delayed). So, rather than getting rid of all of my old work, I decided to simply post this little prelude to my previous post. So, while its not technically correct, enjoy.

AC Slater just won Dancing With The (not-really) Stars two. First, is he still considered a star? Seriously. For that matter, excluding Emmitt Smith, would any of those people be considered "stars" anymore? Anyways, you may be asking yourself: Why in the hell does he know this? Well, I'm a pop culture nut. And maybe a little gay.

Anyway, in celebration of his win, I have posted this sweet clip entitled "Brokeback By The Bell." If AC is considered a star, this is what made him one, so enjoy the awesome scenes between him and Zach.

Cheerleader Headlock

Despite the constant mantra, "Save the Cheerleader, Save the World," I have yet to really watch "Heroes." I've heard that it is good and I've even watched a couple epidoses, but I hate watching a show develop slowly from week to week (except for 24 because there are so many twists that it is freaking awesome). In fact, I think I'm setting a new rule for watching all new long-term television shows such as "Lost" or "24": I'm not going to watch the show until after a season (or a few seasons) and: A) I know its good, B) it has been highly recommended to me from multiple sources and C) I can easily obtain it in a digital format so I can watch a bunch of episodes at one time. Lost is so painfully slow that I would almost rather wait and watch it in bursts (but damnit it is good).

Anyway, the whole purpose of this post was to show you this clip of a fight at a VMI/The Citadel football game. Obviously, there was a tense atmosphere for game between these two football powerhouses and this pregame fight was only the beginning. Anyway, behind the skirmish, a cheerleader comes in grabs some military dude and throws him in a headlock. I think she might even throw a punch at him. Pretty freaking funny. Or sad. You decide.

Bush League Thriller with Fake MJ

Who doesn't love Michael Jackson's Thriller? I believe I was 6 when MTV premiered the music video, but I remember how excited my babysitters' were to watch it so I watched it with them.

That music video changed my life - partly because I had a few nightmares (I was only 6!) and partly because it began my love for non-pop music (ie, hip-hop). And its not just me - people that are a few years older than me tell me that the Thriller premier was something you had to watch.

Anyway, apparently this guy doesn't love Thriller, because he not only butchers the dance, but he murders the song and the video concept.



I hope I never meet this person in a back alley or I'll give him the "Beat It" treatment.

If you're seeing this in the Facebook.com, click the here or the "View original post" link on this page to see the video on my blog.

Mizzou White Boy Pics

So I was looking through some of the B12 schools' basketball rosters and I stumbled across these pictures.

There are some very serious pics:





And then there are these pictures. Is Mizzou trying to degrade the white boys are their team? Honestly, if I'm at a school that's playing Mizzou, I'm blowing up the pictures to full size and waving them at the bench. It wouldn't piss them off, but it would definitely make them laugh.


Hey Guys? Who wants to play some basketball?


Oh you guys.


Derka

You can see all of the links here...Mizzou Basketball

Bad Ass Freestyle Rap Impersonator

As much as I love hip-hop, I hardly talk about it anymore. That said, check out Aries Spears (he's a comedian, kind of like a poor man's Tracy Morgan) doing his impression of hip-hop legends. He pretty much nails most of them dead-on. Especially his Jay-Z. In fact, if I was Jay-Z, I would hire Aries Spears to make all of my albums in the future. Then I would spend the rest of my time with Beyonce. Delicous Beyonce.

All credit to my boy Wheezy on this find.



If you're seeing this in the Facebook.com, click the here or the "View original post" link on this page to see the video on my blog.

Aggie Nut Squeeze

In honor of the Nebraska game tomorrow, I thought I would share a little scene from a Texas A&M football game earlier this year.

For some reason these dudes squeeze their nuts. I believe its called BallBusting. Idiots. Who wants to bust your own balls?

Look at the dude with the glasses. I think he may have actually busted one of his one balls.




Now that you've watched it, you should know that someone told me this is not dumb or gay because the ancient Greeks did it. You know, the people that where notoriously famous for gay orgies and their obsession over having sex with young boys. Great comparison. Not dumb and/or gay. Not at all.

If you're seeing this in the Facebook.com, click the here or the "View original post" link on this page to see the video on my blog.

The Sackrider Emerges

In light of my post about Moore. Good. Dick. (Linky here!), I have decided to unveil a college football player's profile that I've been holding for sometime.

This guy's name is Kyle Sackrider. Good times.



Some important stats about the Sackrider:

- Third-year walk-on adds depth at tight-end
- [The Sackrider] has added 40 pounds to his frame since the beginning of the 2003 campaign
- [The Sackrider] had an 8-yard reception in the April 2 scrimmage
- [The Sackrider] had two catches for 12 yards in the April 24 scrimmage
The Sackrider has an illustrious scrimmage career

- [The Sackrider] was a two-year starter for Coach Ed Greenman at Harper Creek High School
- [The Sackrider] earned three letters in track (in high school)
- [The Sackrider] lettered in tennis as a freshman, advancing to the state tournament
- [The Sackrider] graduated from Harper Creek with a 3.5 grade-point average
Do we really have to list his high school accomplishments? He's done that little? Honestly, there's like 7 lines of them on his profile.

- [The Sackrider] is the son of Mark and Nancy Sackrider
Who doesn't want to meet Nancy Sackrider?

Three Words: Moore. Goode. Dick.

Arkansas Razorback players Will Moore, Brett Goode and Casey Dick take time during their 26-20 win over South Carolina to setup a genious joke.

Now I'm by no means a photoshop genious, but I'm pretty sure I could make something like this if I wanted. So it would lead me to believe that someone else photoshopped this beauty; however, I was told that this is a legit photo.

I still didn't believe it, so I went to Arkansas' football rosters and found the players. Then I linked to their profiles to prove it.

Can you believe the announcers didn't say anything about this during the game?

If you're seeing this in the Facebook.com, click the here or the "View original post" link on this page to see the video on my blog.

Faith Hill Says "What?!?"

Check out Faith Hill at last night's CMA Awards. She apparently thought she won, and then thought she should have won...



And of course my people on the YouTube have it available immediately. Well Done the Internets.

If you're seeing this in the Facebook.com, click the here or the "View original post" link on this page to see the video on my blog.

Tough Week for Chase Daniel

Not only did he not have a good day against one of the weakest secondary's in the B12, but he also got caught on camera doing this:

Bob Barker is Ghandi...Woolery for PIR

You may think I have a man crush on Chuck Woolery - I don't (I save my man crushes for more powerful men like Jack Bauer) - anyway, I have had two reported sightings of the Wollery selling property on infomercials, so I had to find them on the internets...and, I did. But I couldn't just show you C-Dub's lows, so I also found a copy of him a the peak of his life, hosting the Wheel of Fortune.

That said, with the news of Bob Barker's pending retirement, I am officially starting the Chuck Wollery for Price Is Right campaign. Who would be better then C-Dub on the PIR? The only correct answer is no one.

Sorry about the link to Woolery - I couldn't make the video autoplay and I didn't want it playing anytime someone came to the page.

Chuck On The Wheel:

Check out the sweet purple-pinkish suit!



Chuck Doing Infomercials

Chuck Selling White Bluff Stuff

If you're seeing this in the Facebook.com, click the here or the "View original post" link on this page to see the video on my blog.

Ron Artest Vs. Ben Wallace Again!

Ok, they're not battling again, but tonight will be the first time they have seen each other on the court since the brawl. You know what I'm talking about. It's one of my favorite clips on you tube. Nothing like watching Stephen Jackson try to throw down fisticuffs style with the whole Pistons team. My favorite two parts are when Artest hits the guy that he thought threw the cup (he didn't, but his face is priceless) and when Jermaine O'Neal superman punches some fat guy on the court.



Also, this video has some interesting commentary from ESPN immediately after the fight. Interestingly enought, most of their commentary is blaming the fans. Also, Jim Gray sounds like he is going to cry. They break down the fight pretty well in some spots.



Look forward to the game tonight - if only because it allows us to look back on one of the darkest, yet most entertaining days in The Association's history.

If you're seeing this in the Facebook.com, click the here or the "View original post" link on this page to see the video on my blog.

I Love Bauer

I love Jack Bauer. He (not so much Keifer Sutherland) is prolly numero uno on my "man" crush list. Not that I'm gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Anyway, last week I saw this trailer on the internets (24Trailer.com) and then on FOX during the World Series. I tried to post it but I couldn't get the video to not autoplay. Anyway, youtoooooobers never let me down. So if you didn't see it, or want to see it again - here is the 24 season 6 trailer.



Bauer is awesome.

If you're seeing this in the Facebook.com, click the here or the "View original post" link on this page to see the video on my blog.

This Kid Was Scared Out Of Church

Well, maybe not church, but it was the Temple. Olmec's temple to be exact. The girl is so damn scared of the Temple Guards, but the boy bails out of the Temple. Well worth a watch...




Who doesn't love Kirk Fogg and the Temple.

If you're seeing this in the Facebook.com, click the here or the "View original post" link on this page to see the video on my blog.