Monday, August 06, 2007

Fergie is Related to Carrot Top?

Fergie is ugly
As you may recall, I really don't like Fergie. I wanted to shoot myself during the whole "My Humps" thing and it only got worse once we got to Glamorous" (that Chris guy who reads lyrics does a funny interpretation of that song) and "Big Girls Don't Cry." Do you know one of the lines from Big Girls is "I'm gonna miss you like a child misses their blanket"? Now, I understand "like a fat kid misses cake" was taken by 50 Cent but that is the best you could come up with? It doesn't even rhyme in the damn song!

I guess I just don't get Fergie. In fact, I cry like Michael Irvin everytime I hear her music. Cry in a bad way. So, with that in mind, I did my best to try and understand how someone could make music that sucks so much. I think this video explained a lot of things.

I assume that the clown in that video did something to her. I'm not sure what - he may have just scared her by going all Donatello with the broom. Speaking of clowns, you may be wondering why there is a picture of Carrot Top and Fergie at the top. Well, thanks to a random blog find on the City Rag, I think I understand Fergie a little better - she is she's related to Carrot Top. I don't hate Carrot Top (unlike Carlos Mencia), but I generally just don't like him/think he's funny. That said, if Carrot Top were to start a singing career, I'd have to go hide in the closet of his dressing room, hoping I wouldn't be discovered and no one asked "who farted?" until I could jump out and beat him to death politely ask him to stop. Speaking of who farted, here's a funny video.

If you didn't catch it, that horse's name is "Hoof Hearted." Very clever. If I had to name a horse it would be "My Cod Piece". Then we could hear things like "My Cod Piece is 4 lengths ahead," "My Cod Piece is charging ahead," and "My Cod Piece is going for the finish!" among other things. That would be awesome. I wish I was a really rich, white dude so I could do that now. You know what else I would do if I was rich? I'd bring back Arrested Development.

Maybe Tobias could help Fergie get over whatever is bother her.


Anonymous said...

Well since Perez Hilton who looks like a fat pink nightmare is the one who started that with Fergie, I don't have a lot of respect for that comment.

I have seen Fergie live and met her,s he is a pretty and nice woman.

Ross said...

Awesome broom spinning technique by the clown in that video.

And what's with the first comment here? Fergie's PR people are on to your site I think.

Double M said...

I guess Perez Hilton is a celeb gossip site that is pink and doesn't look very nice.

The commentor appears to be from D'Youville College. They apparently found my site by searching blogs on Google for Fergie. Not sure why they would do that.

In any case, I'm not too impressed with D'Youville College's English program/admission standards at this point.

Anonymous said...

if you get rid of fergie and bring back arrested development, i will love you forever <3