Your One Stop for All the Chris Berman Craziness

UPDATE 3: The videos have been pulled from YouTube, but I've got another site's videos embedded where I can now...
Sometimes I get so wrapped up into the intermets that I forget that even though I have seen a video roll through like 30 times, there are still a large number of people that haven't seen it. For instance, did you know that there are these funny videos of respected moderately annoying ESPN anchor Chris Berman showing up on the intermist? Well, I realized today that even though I have seen the videos a bunch of times, a bunch of you guys haven't. And even if you have, they are scattered all over the web - too many to even give a hat tip. So I'm gonna put them all in one place (there's a bunch of them and if you really don't care about Berman, you can always roll to the last video which has nothing to do with him).

The videos are apparently from some guy posting on YouTubes under the name Ampex2000 and he did an interview with Deadspin where he said he might post one more. You can even bookmark this page - I'll update it when it shows up (or you can just wait for the post to reappear your reader).

The first video that was posted (I think) is Berman just yelling at everyone in the studio. He references the Son of our Lord a lot in this one so exercise some caution and use some headphones. Pretty sure there's an f-bomb in there too.



Nothing like an explosive d-bag as your "lead" anchor/personality. That video pissed off the some religious group (again) and they protested at ESPN on Monday. The next video is Berman complaining again about the prompter. He comes off like a real jackass on this one. That said, this is the mildest of the videos.
** Don't have this one yet...


He doesn't seem like a fun guy to work with. My favorite video of the collection is the next one. In it, Berman just drops a bunch of f-bombs, which makes me laugh. They aren't censored, so exercise caution.



If you've ever wanted to know what a "duh-duh-duh" or how to smuggle drugs in from Canada, Berman will tell you how (see, you can even learn something today).



If I had been working with Berman up to this point, I probably could have used some of those 222's. This next one is really boring and I wouldn't recommend watching it (but for the sake of completeness I've included it) - it is Berman trying to use his "celebrity" status to get a table setup for his friends. It is the longest of the videos, and, like I said, not worth it.



The next video is Berman being kinda creepy, talking to a chick that desperately wants out of the conversation. He tries to sound all fancy with his wine talk, but the best part of the video comes 31 seconds in.
**Don't have this one yet


UPDATE: There's been a new video posted today (Tuesday). In this one Berman is clearly not happy with one of the most respected announcers in football history, Al Michaels. Standard NSFW language in this one.



UPDATE 2: Turns out ESPN says they don't care

Honestly, I kinda feel bad for Berman. He annoys me now, but I used to think he was really funny. I just imagine Berman as a grown up, successful version of Seth from Superbad. Speaking of Superbad, the Line-O-Rama feature (where they just do several takes on funny lines throughout the movie) from the DVD's extra features finally made it to the intermets and I've included it below because I think its funny. You'll prolly need headphones on this one because of the language.

Crazy Kool-Aid Commercials

Let me list some of the things you may not know I like:

Vegas.
Basketball.
Hip-Hop.
Watermelon.
Popeye's chicken bottomless plate (they don't call it a buffet, I have no clue why).
Jello.
And Kool-Aid. I love Kool-Aid.

A couple years ago when I was in grad school, I got a gift certificate to the grocery store I shopped at because I spent so much money at the store over the course of six months. I, of course, failed to use the coupon and on the last day I sent my soon-to-be brother-in-law to the store. He asked me what I wanted and I told him just to buy me some stuff. He ended up spending the entire thing on Kool-aid because he knew I love it that much. Anyway, here's a ridiculous Kool-aid commercial. Oh, by the way - it is in Spanish.



Apparently, whoever made that commercial has it all figured out: Kool-Aid is as important as the sun. Here's another one for good measure (this one's in English though).



Who thought this was a great commercial? "Let's have a big walking pitcher of Kool-Aid bust through stuff, scare some old people and then randomly give kids drinks." Genius. I guess it worked though, because I remember them and it was a big enough deal to get into Family Guy's pilot...

Real Reason For Going To Vegas

Well, it turns out I don't leave until 11 so I got a post up.

Here's a clip from The Soup that I thought was funny. I actually just wanted the real clip (I don't think Joel McHale really adds anything), but I couldn't find it. Besides, I haven't had a clip from The Soup in a long time.



Anyway, I figured I'd let you in on a secret - its the real reason I'm going to Vegas. I told my wife that we're gonna do a lot of business, but really - we're just gonna make a ridiculously bad rap video.



At least they kinda had a beatdown shot...

See you next week.

Conan Vs. Colbert

In the interest of full disclosure, I should let you know that I will probably be MIA after today. I'll try to sneak a post in tomorrow, but I'm not sure if it will happen. My company (that's a new and improved website and its going to be improving even more in the near future!) just completed version 1.0 of our software and so all of the full time employees are going to Vegas as a bonus/planning/bonding activity. It should be a lot of fun. Unfortunately, I highly doubt I will have time to write a post (and I may not even have access to the intermets). So, I apologize - I will be back Monday.

Anyway, last week sometime I turned on the Colbert Report to see that he still had his feud going with Conan (and they had now involved Jon Stewart). A couple nights ago (Monday, I think), Conan summarized the whole thing. I wasn't sure where he was going with it, but I laughed pretty hard. The clip is up on YouTube and I've included it here.



If you don't want to watch an entire 8 minute clip, the fight scene between Conan, Colbert and Stewart can be seen at that link. It is well worth watching because it made me laugh pretty hard.

In case I don't get something posted, here's a link to the R-rated, definitely NSFW trailer for Forgetting Sarah Marshall (the new Judd Apatow movie). I wasn't sure how I felt about it at first, but I'm pretty sure it will be funny. Besides, if it has Kenneth, how can I not love it?

Drop A Duece On Them...

Sometimes, when I'm perusing items in Google Reader, I will star things that I don't have time to read or watch at the exact moment. You'll notice that things sometimes appear in my shared feed (that's the feed, you should subscribe to it...) a day or two after they were posted because I often forget to go back through my starred items. Anyway, this weekend I was going through my starred items and a post with this picture was there, which I thought was funny. It was immediately and completely randomly followed up by this video. Ironically, I thought the two related well.



I'm just impressed that chick holds it together. She's oh so close to losing it...I guess this could give you an idea as to the caliber of things I read on the Internets.

Mario Lopez Is A Bad Host

I don't know if you watch the Super Bowl for football or just commercials, but that was an amazing game. On top of a win-win situation for me as a fan, its too bad the commercials weren't outstanding or else we could have gotten the rare Super Bowl Entertainment Trifecta. Why was it a win-win you ask? Well, if the Patriots won, then dumbass Mercury Morris could shut the hell up and we would have seen history. But, since the Giants won, we get to celebrate in d-bags Belichick, Harrison and whoever else you don't like on the Patriots suffer in defeat - and that's awesome. Going back to the commercial thing, I'm pretty sure this was the best commercial from the NFL playoffs (sadly, it wasn't unveiled during the Super Bowl).



Anyway, you don't know this, but my wife loves those crazy dance shows (like So You Think You Can Dance and Dancing With The Stars. On Saturday, we watched a new one that MTV has created: Randy Jackson's America's Best Dance Crew. It is all hip-hop dancing, so that's better than any of the other dancing shows, but there are two really, really painful parts of the show: JC Chasez of N'Sync fame) and Mario Lopez. They are both really, really white dudes interacting with a more rugged crowd. Someone has chronicled all of JC Chasez's awkward interactions (if you watch that, count how many times he says um, uh, kind of, and I mean). I'm not sure how he got on the show, but I can let it slide because he was in N'Sync and they did quite a bit of dancing; however cheesy it was. The real question is how in the hell Mario Lopez got this gig. If you watch that Chasez clip, you only get brief moments of Senor Lopez, but that's all it takes to realize he's trying really hard to be ghetto, forgetting that he spent the last few years doing an Animal Planet show. He is awkward, clearly overreading his lines and just an overall bad host. Besides, if you remove DWTS from the equation, I'm pretty sure this is his only dance experience.



Maybe he's more hood than I thought. We should probably check another video just to make sure.



Ah, that's the Slater I knew. Although if Kelly Kapowski (NSFW) thinks that is hot then I guess you can't fault him.

Drunk History Part II

I'm kinda off my game tonight. I'm not sure if I haven't completely recovered from being sick last weekend things have just been weird today. First, I couldn't focus completely at work and needed to think from home to figure out my problem. Then, we lost to an awful team at basketball tonight - I have no clue what happened but they made some lucky shots. Personally, I played like shit and that makes it more frustrating. Now I'm watching my Spurs let f-ing Jacque Vaughn lead them in shots and scoring (If you know who Jacque Vaughn is, then you have to feel bad for me, no matter whether you like the Spurs or not. If you don't know who he is, then that should only reaffirm my feelings exasperation).

To top it off, I found Drunk History Part II earlier this week on Funny or Die (you may remember my post with Part I, but now a few other website have started picking it up. It's been a crazy week. Anyway, here's part II (its not on YouTube yet, and Funny or Die is dumb and refuses to show up in a lot of readers, so you may actually have to click to the actual blizog to see it). Is it as funny as the first? No. But it does feature Jack Black and Clark Duke (the latter or Clark and Michael fame).



Oh ya, there's puking in that one too. Sorry about that. I guess its not that big of a deal - you can't even really see it. Anyway, I'm assuming I'll be back on point after the weekend. I had better be - I'm going to Vegas on Thursday (and we all know how much I love Vegas).

So, on a completely unrelated note - here's a random video called Kill 'Em with Kindness. Enjoy and have a good weekend.