Its a casual dress Friday here at the Skeet Thrower, and this being a family website and all, I try to keep this fairly respectable most of the time. And by respectible, I mean worthless and ridiculous. Why do I constantly remind you that this is a family place? Because Wheezy's post about his Mom finding his blog is one of my biggest fears.
As you know (if you can read), I was in Fort Wayne earlier this week (more on this in a second). I was meeting my parents there, so I emailed my itinerary to them. Not a big deal right? Well, I used an email address that has a link to my blog at the bottom. So, potentially mi madre is reading this right now. And that was dumb. Although not nearly as dumb as this guy:
What an idiot! But I digress - like I said, I flew out to Fort Wayne (FW) earlier this week. We had a connecting flight through Dallas where I saw this sweet advertisement for the Dallas Mavericks:
I'm not sure what MAVS FEVER is, but any slogan that includes "Catch It, Spread It" is probably something I'd want to avoid. Of course, this was just the precursor to some ridiculous signs in FW. Apparently FW hasn't caught onto the whole that's what she said thing. Everywhere we went there were signs that made me laugh to myself. For instance, Mike's Express Car Wash had a sign that said "$5 - As Long As You Want" (on a side note, that may be the most professional car wash website ever) and a new Meijer's boasted "So big you won't believe it!"
But you can see things like that anywhere. The motherload of "that's what she said" occured when I was in the airport waiting to come home. A family (husband and wife, 3-year-old daughter and a grandma) sat down behind us in the terminal. The conversation was about candy and went a little something like this:
Grandma: Let me give her some.
Mom: Don't you give it to her.
Daughter: I want it!
Mom: I'm not gonna let you have it.
Daughter: Please, just let me have it.
Grandma: Here, just put this in your mouth.
Daughter takes candy and clearly doesn't like it.
Mom: See, she doesn't like it! Now look what you've put in her mouth.
Grandma: Well, just let her spit it out then. You don't have to swallow it, honey.
Mom: No. You put that in your mouth, now you have to finish it. You don't get to spit it out.
Grandma: But she doesn't like it.
Mom: I don't care. If she puts something in her mouth, it doesn't need to come back out.
Honest to God. I was in "That's What She Said" overload. I honestly said it to myself like 10 times and then I was just in shock. I turned around to see if they were reading a script or if some of my friends were standing behind the people laughing because it was all staged. Turns out it was really happening (unfortunately, so is this Tony Parker rap video) and I couldn't believe it.
All I could think of was this video.
Have a good weekend.
3 comments:
I dunno if you've seen this or not... but some lady is figuring out how much Michael Scott's actions would cost a company in the real world.
For the "Sexual Harassment" episode, legal fees get near a cool mil.
In other related news... Native American women apparently haven't caught on to the joke quite yet...
And there are plenty other authors who just aren't as familiar with slang as they probably should be...
Pretty soon you won't even need to search the internet anymore to write your blog. Google will do it for you.
Nevermind. I'm an idiot. I don't even know why I bother reading the internet on April 1st.
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