Friday: Cougars, Music Stars, and Aliens!

Well, I almost finished a BCS list for tomorrow, but mourning my team's dismissal from the playoffs and crazy storms really slowed my progress. So instead, here's a couple videos that you should laugh at.

The first is Mariah Carey trying to throw out the first pitch on her world-wide publicity tour. I'm not sure what she's publicizing - I think her new marriage to a way younger dude. Good news! That means she's a cougar!



Next, here's John Mayer's music making process. This is older, but if you haven't seen it yet, you're missing out. (Unfortunately, it's on funny or die, so you'll have to click through to watch this if you're on a reader). Speaking of older videos, if you haven't seen Weezer's Pork and Beans yet, you need to watch that also. Like now.



Finally, here's some ALF bloopers. If you liked Alf, you'll laugh at these.



Have a good weekend.

Fake Power Rangers Are Really Awesome

I haven't posted about ninjas in a while, and, while they are a dangerous species, I love ninjas. That's why I was immediately drawn to this show: Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters From Beverly Hills. I don't remember this show at all, but the Samurai robot is ridiculous...ok the whole show is ridiculous. It's basically a Power Rangers rip-off (which was an atrocious show to begin with). In any case, here's the first part of the show, featuring a ludicrous ninja robot attack.



If that tantalized you, here's the second part which features a hideous hand giving tattoos to high schoolers...if you're gonna skip one video today, skip this one.



In the 3rd part they really get to work. The combination of graphics, fighting skills, and the soundtrack is unbeatable.



I just want to know where they got those laser powered ninja weapons. Also, I'm downloading that theme song and putting it on my iPod.

If you enjoyed those videos (?!?) then you can check out more here. Enjoy the LOST season finally tonight - I will.

F--- You NBA Funny Videos for your Wednesday

I was a very not happy person last night (I don't wanna talk about it). Fortunately, I finished running (I ran 7 more miles than planned, but whatever) and was able to come back and find a couple videos to cheer me up. So, I've passed them along to you.

The first is a red band trailer for the upcoming Will Ferrell movie, Step Brothers. It's definitely NSFW.



Does Will Ferrell change character? No. Will it make me laugh? Yes.

Here's another video ridiculous movie related video. Here's Arnold's commentary related to Conan: The Barbarian. It's worth a watch. Trust me.



Finally, here's a Different Strokes episode featuring the A-Team (that means Mr. T is there folks). Oh yeah, it's also dubbed over in Japanese. If you ever wanted to hear what Mr. T sounds like in Japan, here's your chance.

Italian Spiderman Part I

I don't know if you remember, but a few months ago, I posted a video featuring the Italian Spiderman. It was ridiculous to say the least. Well, now I've seen a video from what is "The first part of the Italian Spiderman Movie will be brought to you in 10 weekly installments so keep posted each week for the next succulent slice of Spider action!!"

There's some ridiculousness in this video, but I'll let you see it.



Apparently this Spiderman rocks a shotgun, cigarette and may or may not be Ron Jeremy. I don't know whether I like it better or not, but it certainly will get its own post.

Commercial Attack

I know I was supposed to put up an NBA post today, but it didn't make it - I've got some good videos coming though. I put my picks up on Twitter yesterday, so they're written in stone (side note, Ross, I put a Twitter update up there just for you).

In the meantime, here's a compilation of fake commercials (you know I love them). The first one is all about Windex and has some NSFW text.



Here is another commercial from Eagle insurance that I've featured before. This one is ridiculous.



Finally, here's the first commercial for Family Guy spinoff "The Cleveland Show." I have no clue whether I'll like this, but it is about my heritage.

Turkish Rambo: All The Killing But With More Ludicrousousity

If you have been reading this site for any length of time (which is not many of you, I know) you will by now have seen some of my favorite movie clips all time, which of course come from atrocious movies. Some of these clips include Shark Attack 3: Megalodon, Italian Spiderman, and the Undefeatable. Today, I add another to the collection - Turkish Rambo. This is 6:20 of pure bad-guy killing enjoyment (not top be confused with 1:20 of pure double enjoyment).



I don't even know what to say to that. It is awesome. Well done, Turkey. You are now my 9th favorite nation.

SNL Recap: Steve Carrell

Steve Carrell hosted SNL this week and it had some funny moments. I've included a few below.

The first thing is the opening skit which had me rolling and is right on par with some of my Twitter updates from yesterday.



I wish I would have seen that clip before yesterday because I probably would have laughed out loud. The next skit is one about CPR that made me chuckle for some reason. Its got a little SNL gore, so exercise caution on that.



Here's the opening monologue. I laughed because it's classic Steve Carrell. Also, I drink far too many red bulls (they get me through my business trips) and the thought of having 6 makes me laugh/cringe/salivate.



Everything included, this was my favorite clip on SNL this week.



Like I said, I will be gone for most of the week, so I'm not sure how much I'll be posting - I'll do my best. Have a good week.

It's A Blog Roll

I'm am an embarrassingly big fan of the Internet. Like, if I could ever meet the intermist I might turn into a giggling school girl. And one of my favorite parts of the webernet are blogs. There are a lot of good blogs out there, and people (including me) don't give them enough credit for being good (to be honest, I'm pretty sure this post is probably doing them more hard than good, but, oh well). So, out of respect to these blizogs, I've added a massive blog rolls to the bottom left column of this blog (my friends - or really anyone that links to me - will stay in the top-right). If you subscribe to my shared feed (you can see it on the left too) or follow me on Twitter (here's that profile again) you probably have seen many of these sites before. Furthermore, this isn't all of the blogs I read, but these are definitely some of the blogs that shape my views on life. Look at the list and let me know if there's any blogs that I should be reading (or, if for some reason, you're mad that you're not on there, let me know).

I had this big long post written about blog accountability - but let's be honest - who really want to hear that from me. So instead, here's an awesome commercial that probably applies to several of my readers this fine Sunday.

Friday on the Road

Over the next 7 days I will be on the road for 6.5 of them. As such, I'm hoping to get some posts written, but you never know. In any case, to start off your Friday and finish off your week, here's a new music video from Flight of the Conchords - Ladies of the World. I enjoyed it.



Seems like 70's-ish roller skating videos are all the rage right now. You know what is also the rage? Being an idiot.



Have a good weekend.

Ron Burgundy vs. Tom Brokaw

I thought I've uploaded this before, but I'm not sure, so here you go. It's just like the title says (you know I'm a sucker for Ron).



I wish they wouldn't have cut the interview - I feel like I'm missing out on some good stuff.

Side note: it's a funny or die video, so if you're in a reader, you'll probably have to click through to watch it - sorry.

It's Local Commercial Madness

Sometimes when I open a video, I know right away that I'm gonna love it. It's awesome. Today I have one of those awesome videos.



I don't know what it is about crappy local commercials but I love them. Seriously, I want to meet the people who comes up with these ads. Here's an awesome pizza one.



I think I'm gonna start mixing that dance into my daily routine. Just because I can, here's an awesome flea market commercial that's been all over the intermist but is always worth a watch.

Samsung Shrinks Shia's SNL

I haven't written about this yet because I'm in denial, but about 3 months started to act a little schizo. It would take about 10 minutes to turn on (after flashing on and off the entire time). Turns out that's really f-ing annoying. So, I put it in a service request with Samsung thinking the issue would be resolved. Turns out it took 3 fucking months for Samsung to get the part for my less than 1-year-old TV (which they said they discontinued) to the repair people...which, of course, didn't fix the issue - so the service people took my TV back to their shop. I have no clue what they are doing there but I'm pretty sure there's a lot of masterbation/being douche-bags because there's not a lot of TV fixing happening.

Why am I telling you this now? I struggled through a week-and-a-half without a TV, hoping everyday that my TV would come back to me, but, sadly, it has not happened yet. Over the course of a week+, DVR'd TV really starts to back up. So tonight I caved and started watching TV - leading off with SNL.

It was new for the first time in forever and Shia LaBeouf was the host. One of the best recurring skits SNL has going right now is the MacGruber skits. Shia did a few of them and they were all pretty good.



I know I've already talked typed a lot but I want to give you a brief story before I show you another clip. Last summer Transformers came out and Megan Fox catapulted herself into the pop culture circle of my friends. Turns out she's hot. In any case, turns out my brother-in-law, AP, thought that the Megan's name was Shia LaBeouf, which my friend used to his advantage - culminating in a speaker phone call where AP told a car full of dude's that he thought Shia was unbelievably hot and he would do certain things that I cannot repeat here. With that in mind, here is another skit that's kinda funny (there were some funnier skits, but in context I don't think I laughed harder).



Here's the digital short from the week. It was ok - but I'm pretty sure it was just a shot at some country artists which makes it cool with me.



One side note on the episode - Keenan was prominently featured in about 4 skits. And 2 of them could have been funny, but he blew it (one was funny, despite him, and his news desk stuff isn't funny at all). Just about every time Keenan talked I wanted to kill myself. He is atrocious. Here is one skit featuring Keenan where I actually did laugh (not from him though).



Last note: it looks like SNL has finally figured out that putting all kinds of clips up on the Hulu makes sense. So, here's a link.

Have a good week.

NBA Round 2 Preview

Well, we are now 2-3 games deep in every 2nd round playoff series, but I promised an NBA 2nd round preview, so here it is.

But before I give you the preview, I'd like to take a moment to congratulate myself on a thrilling victory in last weeks Skeet Thrower Draft on Playground Games. It is very satisfying to win a draft and I celebrated by having a glass of OJ.

Onto the preview:

Eastern Conference

Boston (1) vs. Cleveland (4)

The NBA is rigged this year so picking against the Celtics would be dumb. Not to mention the fact that the Celtics have at least 3 players that can actually play basketball at a high level while the Cavs only have one (although he's a really good one). Celtics probably win in 5, but it might go 6 if the Celtics forget to play defense on the road again. Boston's already up 2-0

Celtics (the Van Gundy part of this commercial always makes me laugh):



Cavs (this is a funny video back from when The Rock was a bad guy):



Detroit (2) vs. Orlando (3)

Detroit should win this series, earning the right to get beaten by the Celtics. Detroit is good, but not that good and this will probably go 6 or 7 games. That said, Detroit's 2nd best player justpulled his groin/hamstring, so Orlando may have a chance. I'd still go with Detroit. Detroit is up 2-1

Detroit (here's a ridiculous Detroit Pistons cartoon from a few years ago):



Orlando (here's an awesome video that I've posted before with Shaw, LeBron, and Orlando's Dwight Howard dancing):



Western Conference

LA Lakers (1) vs. Utah (4)

The Lakers don't even need the leagues assistance to beat Utah. Utah's playoff MO for the last 2 years (when they lose) is to put up one bad quarter, get down by double-digits, rally late in the 4th only to fall a few points short. This has and will happen again in this series. Plus, Derek Fisher screwed them (to be fair, he left to be closer to his family and the Jazz helped him out, but his knowledge of Utah's system is really messing with their mojo). Lakers should win in 5. Lakers lead the series 2-0

Lakers (here's an old Lakers video I've posted before...):



Utah (I may change my opinion of Jazz fans after this):



New Orleans (2) vs. San Antonio (3)

The Hornets really surprised me with how easily they beat a self-destructing Dallas team and I think the Spurs blew their load beating Phoenix. The homer in me says Spurs in 7, but the basketball guy in me says this is the worst match-up the Spurs could have gotten and the Hornets win in 6. I guess the Spurs losing wouldn't be all bad since my work may have a connection there once the season ends. Hornets lead this one 2-1

Hornets (this is an old commercial from a player on the Hornets):



Spurs (this is just a WTF video):



Here's one final video from the NBA on TNT the other night. It's been all over the place in the sports world, but its pretty funny. Charles Barkley gets duped on a teleprompter trick.

The Immature Video Post

I have two videos today that you should enjoy. They are probably just a little immature, but that fits on this website anyway (and on the heels of a couple Twitter posts yesterday, you can tell I'm not too worried about maturity).

The first is an awesome clip from TMNT 2 that someone sent me the other day. I own the first TMNT movie, but I haven't seen the 2nd TMNT movie in a long time. I didn't realize it was a different April in that one - these are the kinda things I'm expected to know. Anyway, here's an awesome clip from that movie - just wait for Splinter's line.



Of course, a brief innuendo can only be topped by this awesome Shaq clip that I found while looking for that Will Ferrell clip from the other day.



Also, yes, I know I promised a NBA round 2 preview - and one will show up - but I just can't believe my Spurs are down 0-2...so I've been procrastinating.

Videos That You Should See

I was going to do an NBA second round preview today (yes, I know the 2nd round started Saturday, but I had to wait until all the second round match-ups were decided), but there's something more pressing - a bunch of funny videos. There are 3 videos to be exact that have been (or will be) popping up all over and are worth watching.

The first is from Conan - it's his version of GTA IV. If you've ever played (or seen) GTA, you'll like it.



The second part to that video can be viewed here.

The next video is an "unaired" clip from SNL featuring Shaq and Will Ferrell. I put the quotes around unaired because I've seen this clip before and spent countless hours searching for it (for instance, I spent 30 minutes searching for it for my first NBA Playoff Preview Post). Anyway, now that I've found it, I couldn't resist posting it (it's from Funny or Die, so you'll probably have to click through to the post to see it if you're using a reader).



The last video is one of the new Marvel Vs. DC Mac/PC Parody videos. This ones pretty good and topical considering the release of Iron Man (side note, I'll have a summer movie post coming soon as well).



Have a good week.

Skeet Thrower Draft: Playground Games

It's the return of original Friday content. I've been pretty busy lazy the last few weeks and haven't gotten a post written. Anyway, about 3 weeks ago we finished up a draft and I finally had a chance to write it up.

Topic: Playground Games. Really, it's anything you played at recess or PE while in elementary or middle school.

Order: 1) Laura, 2) Adam, 3) Ross, 4) MM, 5) Wheezy

3 rounds, snaking order. Go.

First Round

1. Laura: SWINGS

MM: PLEASE GIVE A 1-2 SENTENCE DESCRIPTION IF POSSIBLE...WHY ARE WE YELLING?

Laura: I DON'T KNOW!
Swings are classic. And can be enjoyed at all ages (yeah, I've been on a swing in college). You can normal swing. You can swing in a superman pose. You can have someone turn you around and around and around until the chain is all twisted and then let go. You can swing as high as possible and then compete to jump the farthest. Swings are way more versatile than they receive credit for. Despite some other people's opinions, swings are not a peripheral! Swings are a staple of the playground that will be around forever.

Adam: I do the majority of my swinging at Kansas City area Comfort Inns, generally at the quarterly conference. I didn't know people swung at playgrounds, I'll have to look into that.

2. Adam: CRAPS
Looks like I need to have a big draft. My first round selection for best playground game / recess activity is CRAPS, or "shooting dice" as you might have called it. What a rush it always was betting my lunch ticket and praying that I'd be able to eat hot lunch for the rest of that week.

3. Ross: BOOMERANG
The coolest thing we ever did at recess was play with a BOOMERANG! That was the hot item at 4th grade recess. That is, until Ryan Hellander sliced his face open and the powers that be decided it probably wasn't a good idea to have 40 kids chasing around a flying weapon. ...I probably should have saved that one for a later round. Not likely to be stolen I imagine.

MM: I was not gonna steal Boomerang, but only because the word Boomerand reminds me of the first time I ever saw a cougar attack. (that's probably NSFW)

Draft Note: This has nothing to do with the playground, but this ridiculous video comes up on YouTube when you search Boomerang:


4. MM: 4-Square
Honestly, there was nothing better than four square - there was action, shady alliances between the top people and your friends, moves that were borderline cheating, the ability to tag someone with a playground ball, and, as a bonus, just about everyone could get involved.

Draft Note: This over-the-top video is not how I played it, but makes me want to play 4-square even more.



5. Wheezy:Tether Ball
One of the main reasons for this pick is because it was one of the few "sports" I could actually play with any chance of actually winning when I was in elementary school, but also because even if you weren't playing - the people who were looked so ridiculous that you could always enjoy the spectacle.

Second Round

6. Wheezy: Tire Swing
On my elementary school playground there was one of those wooden multi-use play areas with a cargo net you climbed to get to the monkey bars to get to the Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom style rope bridge to get to the twisty slide etc, and on one corner was a tire swing that, when pushed hard enough would get you pinballing back and forth on the support beam structure surrounding it. Plus it spun like crazy, so it was kind of a combined merry go round / swing twofer.

Draft Note: This should remind you of what it looks like to play tetherball.


7. MM: Dodgeball
What's better than winging a playground ball at some of your friends, or, even better, someone that pissed you off. Plus, dodgeball is the ultimate survival of the fittest game. If you're slow or fat or suck at life, you're gonna be out really early. Bonus: I could go play dodgeball right now and have an awesome time.

8. Ross: Kickball
You get to peg people with that red ball, just like in dodgeball, but you also get the satisfaction of booting the ball and hearing that twang. You know what I'm talking about. Kickball is a great playground game, much better than baseball as it required only the ball and moved along much faster, since you never need to pitch 12 times for a single at bat.

MM: I did love that twaaaanggg sound.

Laura: Oh yeah, this game was way high on my draftboard. That twang is particularly satisfying when every one moves into the infield just because you're a girl and then the ball goes over their heads

Draft Note: Here's an awesome kickball league I want to join


9. Adam: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
This was always a favorite of mine as everyone else always seemed to want to be Rafael because he was red, or Donatello for reasons I still don't understand. This opened up Michaelangelo for me which was perfect because despite his bullshit ninchucks, he was the most awesome. A true story is that in 2nd grade my teacher had an intervention with my parents because I was too obsessed with Turtles. Well, Ms. Latka, you know when we're discussing Michaelangelo the artist you're pretty much just asking for some Turtles quotes and references, and maybe you just weren't into them enough. Turtles - the game for kids who love Pizza, debate favorite colors and weapons, and are constantly facing sabotage threats from the Foot Clan.

Draft Note: I'm not sure how this slid through without so much as a comment. I loved playing TMNT on the playground. That said, I'm pretty sure we looked like a mix of these next 2 videos:





10. Laura: Capture the Flag
My entire school used to play this (or kickball) at recess. (Note: My entire school was 17 people, including the teacher that played with us.) One of the criterion for all my picks is that it can be played by all ages and in different circumstances. We played on a semi-open field with a few hills and trees. You could also play a game across an entire campus, or at camp we played in the forest. You can specialize too and it doesn't always require the most coordination (speed is helpful unless you're super sneaky).

Third Round

11. Laura: Tag
Tag can be played at all ages with varying levels of difficulty and any size group. There's normal tag, which I believe was designed solely to use up kids' excess energy since the game never really ends.There's freeze tag, which can actually allow someone to "win" the game by freezing everyone, but it still can go for a long time and you can work together. There's blob tag where people get linked together. Depending on space constraints tag can also turn into a type of hide-and-seek around the playground equipment. Tag is the simplest of games, but with a little bit of creativity it can be changed and elaborated in so many ways.

12. Adam: Tornado Slide
This was the biggest, twist on the way down slide on most school playgrounds. What's true is that I was so deathly afraid of heights through about 3rd grade that I didn't even make it down until 4th grade, and by then everyone was either playing football or climbing UP the slide anyways. Still, I remember the rush of not dying my first time climbing up those stairs and getting all of my undergarments bunched up in the static cling shock of the trip down. Of course, by the time I had enough balls to actually climb up to that slide - there were bad kids hanging out in the top, scratching curse words into the metal, and they never appreciated having to go down just so I could conquer my fears.

13. Ross: The Floor Is Lava
Maybe you called it something slightly different, but I'm willing to bet you had some sort of game where you couldn't touch the ground. This game is a classic, and every playground has it's own quirks and tricks to get from one side to the other without being engulfed in flames.

14. MM: Red Rover
I would like to meet the person that came up with Red Rover. I have a feeling it went like this: A teacher was pissed at his class for being douche bags, so when recess rolls around, he's like, "Hey. I have a game we're going to play today." Then he splits them into two teams and stand in a straight line. Then one-by-one, he has the class run full-steam from their team right into the other team. Furthermore, here's a checklist I used for good games: 1) Is there a chance for injury? Yes. 2) Is there a chance that you'll pick on a girl or a weak kid? Yes. Is there a chance that you could end up on the ground with 2 girls? Yes. Is there a chance that you'll be mad at someone after the game? Yes. Four yeses - how can you not love this game?

15. Wheezy: Butts Up
Get your heads out of the gutter man, this is an elementary school game!

Basically, if I remember correctly. The ball is thrown against a large wall, usually the side of the building, then as it returns the kids try to catch it. If you successfully catch it without dropping the ball, you get then throw it against the wall again. If you touch it WITHOUT catching it, (like drop it, get grazed by it, etc) - you must run to the wall and touch the wall before anybody can get the ball to the wall again.

If you don't make it to the wall first, then you get one "out", and must stand against the wall, facing towards it. The kid who gave you that out then tries to peg you as hard as he can with the ball (usually a tennis or racquetball). If you accumulate 3 outs, then you're done playing.

I really don't know why this game was all that appealing - I guess because of the painful nature of losing (see Bloody Knuckles and the quarter game where you try to keep it spinning for other examples of the pain based phenomenon).

So that's the draft. I'll declare the winner next Friday, so vote until then. Here's the poll.

Have a great weekend.