Casual Dress Friday: Too Much Reading...

Its a Casual Dress Friday here at the Skeet Thrower and I have been sitting here for like 2 hours unable to type anything. I was going to post everyday this week and it just didn't happen. So, here I am sitting in front of the laptop trying to type something out that will make me laugh.

Sadly, I think my problem is that I'm reading too much now. Generally, reading is considered a good thing, but I have a feeling that I'm doing too much. You see, in my reader it says that I've read over 13,000 items over the last 30 days. That equates out to be around 433.33 items/day. Even if I only spend 30 seconds on each item, that equates out to be over 5 hours-a-day of reading. 5 freaking hours. Let's be honest, for a guy that like to watch between 3-5 hours of TV a day, reading this much is unacceptable. And now I've typed two straight paragraphs without so much as a video or picture, forcing you to incur the same fate as myself (and to top it off I even included some math!).

As a result, for post #199, I'm giving you a throwback post for the rest of the post. A few videos, a little text and no real plot. We'll start with the incomparable Oprah. Apparently, that video disappeared overnight. I have replaced it with a video of a younger, skinnier Charles Barkley dominating Barney.



That's not as funny as the Oprah one, but still kinda funny. At least the next clip is funny, even though its from MadTV.



If only that was on something other than MadTV it would actually be really funny. In any case, you know I can't leave you with a MadTV clip, so here's a ridiculous (and moderately NSFW) video about box eating.



Finally, here's a video of Michigan WR Mario Manningham doing the worm to celebrate Michigan's W over Penn State. I don't know why I love this so much, but I've watched it close to 100 times.



If that doesn't get you excited for football, hopefully you at least enjoyed videos.

Have a good weekend.

September 26 = Shorty's Birthday

Yesterday, I talked about a lot of movies that I saw (or didn't see this summer) and I realized that all kinds of TV starts this week. I think Shorty alone is recording like 10-12 hours this week. So, in honor of the TV that's starting, here's Stewie and Brian Griffin at last week's Primetime Emmy's.



There'll be more about TV tomorrow, but if you read the title you can guess that today is Shorty's (aka my wife) birphday and I would be remiss if I didn't dedicate a post to her.

Shorty's birthday is one of like 10 birthday's that I remember off-hand anymore. For pretty much everything else I rely on The Facebook.com. Unfortunately, I only check the Facebook about once or twice a week, so every now and then I miss a birthday. Anyway, I want to thank Shorty for going to bed every night around 10 - 10:30. This gives me plenty of time to sit here and write (although you'd think I'd mix in a few more posts with that much time, huh), maintain my 8 bazillion fantasy/pickem leagues and talk to the guy you call my "boyfriend" (I should clarify, I'm not gay - not that there's anything wrong with that).

So what better way to celebrate Shorty turning 25 years old then to have a music video* of 4 dudes that I cannot explain.



So, yeah, happy birthday, Shorty! If you couldn't figure it out, the name of that band is Bear Force 1. I'm pretty sure its a joke, but if its not, it is awesome.

But in all seriousness, if you didn't know, Shorty has quit her job and started over twice during the last 14 months, just to move for my job. And while she hasn't really been happy about it either time, she's made the best of it and I couldn't have done it without her. So as she turns old today, tell her thanks for keeping the skeet thrower throwing (niiiiice).

* Also, thanks to one of my favorite interns, Dan Cromer, for providing me with this brilliant link.

What Did I Do This Summer?

Two of my big plans at the beginning of the summer included making sure I drafted Drew Brees very high in my fantasy football drafts and watching a lot of movies. As I'm watching Bress single-handedly destroying the only fantasy team on which I got him (seriously, 5 turnovers...d-bag), I realized that since fall has officially begun, the summer movie season is over (I'm pretty sure it was over after Super Bad came out, but I'm not sure - maybe there were a few more movies. When did the Bourne Ultimatum come out? I'm not sure.). Anyway, at this point, I can look back over the movies I saw and the onesI missed but had originally wanted to see and give you a quick (1-2 sentence rundown).

• Pirates 3 - Didn't see it. Heard it was ok. Waiting for DVD.


• Shrek 3 - Didn't see it. Heard it was subpar compared to I & II. Waiting for DVD.


• Spiderman 3 - Saw it. It was ok but I was kinda bored. Thought they underused Venom.
  
  Fortunately, someone came up with a video of how Spiderman 3 should have gone (here's a 30 second recap of 1 & 2 if you forgot what happened).

Oh well. I guess it was better than Spaderman (spoiler: there's an Ackbar cameo!)



What was I talking about...ah yes, movies.

• Knocked Up - Brilliant. DVD comes out today.


• Evan Almighty - Didn't see it because I heard too many bad things. That said, Steve Carrell's part as Evan is one of my favorite parts of Bruce Almighty, so I'll see this on DVD.


• Live Free or Die Hard - Awesome. If you love Die Hard, you'll love this. Also, if you didn't watch that Die Hard music video, do it.


• Transformers - A near perfect representation of my second favorite toys growing up behind Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (with Transforming Turtles somewhere in between) but ahead of Lego's (how did they make black Lego's).


• License to Wed - Shorty wanted to see this, but I think the last funny thing Robin Williams did was that stand-up he did on HBO.


• I Now Pronounce You Chuck and Larry - I like Kevin James (I actually think he was really funny in Hitch) and Adam Sandler made me cry when I first saw Happy Gilmore, but I didn't see it. As you can tell, there are too many movies on this list when you factor in other things like tv and sleeping (and moving and working I guess).


• Superbad - My favorite movie of the summer. This was like the best of 40 Year Old Virgin meets American Pie. Some people didn't like this, but after a clip like this, how can you not like this movie.

• The Simpsons Movie - Saw it. Felt like I just watched a 90 minute episode of The Simpsons. Take it or leave it. The season premiere of the TV show started with an intro that picked up from the movie if you saw it.


• Bourne Ultimatum - Wanted to see it, but it didn't make it.


• Rush Hour 3 - Didn't see it. Did you know Chris Tucker was still alive. Who didn't love Friday. I liked the first 2 Rush Hours, but I have to assume it was exactly the same as the first two.

As you can see, there are a bunch of movies I didn't even consider seeing. For instance, Ratatouille (which I heard was good), Harry Potter (never seen any of them) or Daddy Day Camp. Did you know that Daddy Day Camp was directed by Fred Savage and featured Cuba Gooding. Jr. picking up a role that Eddie Murphy refused. What the hell happened to you Cuba? You were awesome in Jerry Maguire and made me tear up in Radio. Then you were perfect in Boat Trip. Nevermind. If you were going to do a crappy sequel, you should have tried to get in on Spiderman.

Nothing Like A Rap Cover

I'm a huge mix tape guy. Ever since I was in high school, I have been checking out websites that sell the same mix tapes that you could buy bootleg style from some dude on the corner of NY or DC (of course, once Napster and other things file-sharing tools, I was able to actually check out the songs on said mix tapes, but that's neither here nor there). Mix tapes are great because DJs in NY will generally push the new singles before they are on radio, so you can get a jump on what's new, you can get some great freestyles and diss tracks and you can also get some mix tape exclusive remixes and covers (that's a Kanye remix, and if you have time and like Kanye, check it out - it includes the line, "she ain't pregnant but she's about to have twins." Genious). A lot of times, the remixes are trash, but every once in a while, you get a gem. My favorite remixes, for some reason, always seem to be when someone takes a hip-hop song and slows it waaaaay down (in other words they cover it in their own style). For instance, Alanis did that remix/cover of My Humps (which was an atrocious song) and made it awesome and actually tolerable. Another example is Jamie Cullum, who actually covered Frontin' by Pharrell, which was a cool song to begin with. Somehow Cullum made it even better - probably because he reminded me of Van Morisson and his singing is tolerable.

Wow, that was a long paragraph. Anyway, one of my favorite covers was by Dynamite Hack (Austin, Texas, baby!). They covered Eazy-E's Boyz N the Hood. This is an older one, but it is awesome.



Ah, yes - nothing like a couple of white boys singing some hardcore rap. But it doesn't stop there, you may or may not have heard of Jonathan Coulton. I don't know anything about him, but he did cover Sir Mix-a-Lot's Baby Got Back.



Pretty good, right? Where is this all going? Well, you may or may not have watched the Emmy's on Sunday (I didn't as there was football to be watched), but I did catch it on tape delay (aka the Internets). There was a segment featuring Rainn Wilson where he sings the lyrics to Kanye's "Stronger". Its pretty funny if you haven't seen it.



Ah, Rainn. You always leave me satisfied and smiling.

Casual Dress Friday: No Longer Will Sticking It In Be Allowed

It's a Casual Dress Friday and I'm gonna fill you into a little secret about myself: I don't follow Virginia Tech football. I never really disliked or liked them, but I always rooted for them to beat those bastards down at Miami. Obviously, I knew about the pre-dogfighting Vick brothers, Frank Beamer's face and their special teams, but not much else. One rumor I had heard about Virginia Tech football home games was that fans would chant "Stick it In" in goal line situations. I never really believed it though, and I assumed that, even if it did happen, it was a small portion of people. Well, thanks to a sweet find from The Wizard of Odds I now have proof that this happens.



It turns out that the band actually plays a song called "Stick It In" that people would chant with. Impressive (Nebraska band, you should be taking notes).

Unfortunately, I will never get to experience this tradition as Virginia Tech administration has outlawed sticking it in because they deem it lude. Bush league, VT. Real bush. I guess I'll have to go to Oregon. What's next, are you going to be eliminating your sensitivity training?



See what happens? If you tell people they can't stick it in, then they're gonna find other ways to express themselves. Next thing you know, you're gonna end up with guys like this that graduate from your university.



Ok, so I have no clue whether he graduated from VT, in fact, I would guess he didn't, but he is in Bowling Green, KY which is close enough. Fortunately, I am now distracted by ridiculous news clips like this from the World Wide Leader.



I guess that's not so much ridiculous as it is a blooper. I'm impressed that ESPN doesn't run on a tape delay to catch stuff like that. You'd think everyone would run on at least a little tape delay, lest something like this should happen.



Ah, yes. Nothing like a little Chuck Storm to finish out the week.

Have a good weekend.

Britney Dwight in a Bra

I watched parts of the VMAs on Sunday night (I DVR'd it and am waiting to watch the full broadcast with my wife). I immediately came here and began to write a post about how bad Britney Spears's performance was (some people have ripped her for looking bad, but I don't think that's the case at all. Is she as tight as before? No. But she's also had two kids and been on coke/meth/somthing. Cut her some slack). Then there was media overload that reminded me of the whole Miss USA fell down thing. By now, I'm sure you're sick of it, so I'll just refer you to an old post where I talk about Britney to state my feelings.

So, if you've heard enough about Britney in her bra, what do you want to hear about? How about Dwight Schrute in a bra! I don't know if you've seen the commercials for the US women's soccer team featuring Jim Mike. Now, I know your first reaction is "Wait. Dwight can't be Jim!", this is true (except for one time). Fortunately, Dwight is actually an actor named Rainn Wilson (I know that's a Dwight clip), so he can act as other people. Amazing. Want to see proof? I've included the five (5!) commercials below. Since they're commercials, they're short, so you shouldn't feel guilty for watching them.

The first three commercials are about Jim Mike auditioning for his position.

#1


#2


#3 (this one is my favorite)


I know what you're thinking "Funny, but didn't you promise me Dwight in a bra?" Why yes I did and its a rule of mine that anytime I promise someone a man in a bra, I deliver. On a side note, it is also a rule of mine to never trust a man with two first names. This would disqualify Jim Mike from ever entering my circle of excellence trust. Anyway, without further ado, here's Dwight Schrute/Jim Mike/Rainn Wilson in a bra.



There seems to be a new one every day. As I was writing this, I saw a new one and had to update the post. Here's the final commercial to date.



If you watched the commercials, you saw the motto "Greatest team you've never heard of" (which is grammatically incorrect, Jim Mike) but also very similar to this blog's unofficial motto "The 4th greatest non-daily pop-culture black-hole blog that you have heard of because your reading this but that most people haven't heard of." See the similarities? They even end with the same grammatical incorrectness. I should look into whether Jim Mike stole this from me...I knew I couldn't trust that guy.

* I forget who originally sent me those commercials, and for that I am sorry. Thanks though - those are awesome.

"I want to tell you why I grieve, but why I do not despair."

It's been a long time since I've posted something serious here on the old blogger and I figured 1 every 100 posts or so would be ok. Since its the anniversary of 9/11, I wanted to show one of the coolest speeches that a lot of people didn't see. I remember watching this and thinking that this was probably one of the most important speeches I would watch for a while. And it was coming from Jon Stewart. I won't add any commentary as I think Jon says it better than I could.



How skinny was Jon Stewart? Regular skeet throwing will return tomorrow.