Friday, February 02, 2007

Post #99: Bears Fans Are Nuts - Its Super Bowl Mania!

Bears Fans Are Nuts-o!

That is all. Have a good casual dress Friday.


Ok, fine. I'll give you some evidence.

Item 1:

One chick induced labor so her husband could go to the conference championship. Nuts-O. She risked the health of her and her baby so her husband could watch the Bears beat up a hurricane ravaged team. Nuts-O.

Item 2:

Ok, sorry - the hurricane reference above a little to soon for you? How about this actual sign from the football game? Nuts-o. And a little distasteful.

Yes, I know this only represents one idiot, but still, my goodness. I'll give the man (or woman) credit for his ingenuity, but I'll knock him for crossing the line a little too far. That said, it's not like the Bears don't have their tradgedy to rally around. Nuts-O.

Item 3:

That one chick tried to sell herself as a "date" to go to the game, where "date" didn't mean "sexual assistant." How pissed would you be if you bought Super Bowl tickets and a moderately to pretty hot date and then didn't get to lay some pipe. Bush. That's bush league.

Turns out, someone gave her tickets and now she is auctioning off a spot with her friends. Nuts-O.

Item 4:

Tank Johnson. Enough said. No, wait, it's not. First, Tank Johnson has a bazillion guns in his home. So the cops bust him for that and some drugs. Then after he gets in trouble for that, the Bears organization says "stay home, don't get in trouble." Instead, he goes out to a nightclub and his boyfriend? bodyguard gets capped. Then a Chicago judge clears him to go to Miami for the Super Bowl. Miami? Are you serious? Do you know anything about Miami? It's a beautiful city, but also one where you can get drugs and hookers all over the place. Good times. So, I'm not sure whether this goes to Tank, the judge that approved him to go to Miami or the Bears fans that support him 100% (I'm sure he's not really a bad guy, but come on!) - Nuts-O.

Item 5:

Bears fans still support Sexy Rexy as their QB. Nuts-O. On a side note, my Rexy Back post has been receiving a ludicrous number of hits from the Illinois area (keep it coming). I'm not saying that Brian Griese or, God forbid, Kyle Orton are better options, but Rex Grossman? The man put up some of the worst QB ratings all-time this season. Nuts-O.

Anyway, so now that I've sufficiently pissed off the 3rd largest city in America (a city I love by the way), you may be asking yourself, "Who is the Skeet Thrower rooting for in the Super Bowl?". My answer - The Bears, of course. Why am I rooting for the Bears? Two reasons:

1) The Red Sox already won a World Series (the 5th or 6th sign of the Apocalypse, I believe) and this year my Cardinals won one (which means that all of the teams I root for in the major sports have now won a title since I've been alive and can remember), so now I can die in peace. Combine those two facts with Peyton potentially winning a championship, it may be the 7th sign of the Apocalypse and we could all die. Honestly, a black hole could just open up right on the 50-yard line in Miami. And I like seeing Peyton lose.

and, more importantly,

2) The Chicago Bears Theme Song (courtesy of this website)!

You may like this ridiculous opera version sung by the dwarf from the "Lord of the Rings," instead.

Also, I love this video clip of now deposed coach, Denny Green:

On a side note, that video is going down in coaching press conference history with Jim Mora and Playoffs! Green says we should crown the Bears, so we should prolly just go ahead and do it.

I can only hope the Bears win because we'll get commercials like this one for Coke and this one for Tire America. They are awful. But who didn't love the Refridgerator?

1 other reason I like the Bears is because of these videos: Bear vs. Colt. That's just one of them, but there's a bunch of them on the

Ok, that's not high-larious, but still pretty funny - in a - its so crappy its funny way.

Anyway, I'll be rooting for the Bears on Sunday (look, you can even order your Championship DVD online already (its been there since Monday), and I'll be making my prop bets as such. On a side note, I think Billy Joel goes over on the 1m 44s for the national anthem.

In other news, I've been counting posts since my return. Ok, more acurately, blogger has been counting them. In any case, this is post #99, which means that my next post will be a 100th Post Extravaganza. I'm not sure what that means yet, but hopefully you'll enjoy.

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