I Hate The WNBA

I usually go work out fairly early after work. But, last night, I decided to go work out late. Usually I work out late. This meant several things, but only a couple that are pertinent to this post: 1) I watched the 6pm SportsCenter and 2) I saw the 10pm SportsCenter at the gym.

Normally, this would be a good thing, especially on the heels of a fantastic NCAA national championship game Monday. Instead, I was force fed Tennessee women's basketball and, more specifically, Candace Parker. Now I have talked about the WNBA before, but let me clarify something - I am not against women's athletics, or even women's basketball for that matter. I just hate that the its being shoved down my throat by the NBA and ESPN.

Just stop selling it to me as the same game. Don't say "We Got Next," don't include them in the All-Star weekend or dunk contests, and don't tell me that the Tennessee women's basketball team could beat the best male high-school basketball team - they couldn't (side note, there's a reason those college squads get guys for their practice squads).

Honestly, women's basketball not exciting to watch unless you know someone on the team. Watching the WNBA/NCAAWBB is like watching Nascar for the wrecks - its only awesome when you get things like this picture happening. Fortunately, there's other people that think like me.



Sorry for the rant. It's a little early this year, but only because I'm preparing for the onslaught of WNBA commercials that are going to come with the NBA playoffs. To make up for it, here's an awesome Kiss Cam video



(I don't remember where I got both of these videos, but I'm pretty sure it was Basketbawful, an awesome NBA blog if you're into that sorta thing.)

QVC: The Overlooked Channel

I watch a lot of TV. Even in the summer I still DVR like 3 hours a week. I watch all kinds of stuff from sports (last night I watched the AAU Jr. Boys Basketball Championship - I'm pretty sure they could beat every WNBA team) to dancing (yes, I watch so you think you can dance with Shorty - pretty sure that doesn't make me gay...at least any more gay) to the news to the Discovery Channel (I particularly like Man Vs. Wild, even if it is fake). But one channel I don't really watch is QVC, mainly because last time I watched it, I spent $700 on US Quarters*. I may need to reconsider; however, as it appears that QVC brings hours and hours of entertainment.

The people and the products are so ridiculous, but what I think makes it funnier is thinking about the demographic that are buying the products. Here's a prime example of a product aimed at their target market.



I guess the demographic for the Facial Flex is middle-aged soccer moms worried about flabby skin on their face that can't afford botox but can afford to shop on QVC. I don't know why you would want to use that instead of just doing facial exercises (That link is a true must watch. Watch it. Do it.).

QVC gets even better when the hosts think the products are shit. For instance, take a look at Mike Rowe - the guy who does Dirty Jobs. He really cares about these products (Thanks to Andy, who gave me the jump on those videos right as they hit the Internets).



Seriously? A Katsak? What cat would enjoy this and why is the product spelled Katsak? Isn't that just a plastic grocery bag inside of a paper grocery bag? Rowe may have been one of the most intentionally funny guys on QVC (you can see more clips here), but sometimes its the crazy stuff on QVC that makes me think I should watch. And when I think of crazy, I think of Britney Spears Lindsay Lohan Paula Abdul.



She even melted down after the show. Her life is a train wreck. Not to be outdone, Suzanne Somers decided just to be herself on HSN. Of course, by herself I mean dumb. The longer you listen to that last clip, the dumber you will be.

Happy Birthday, Ross. While I like belittling everyone, Ross believes that he should be helping other people. You can check out some of the cool things he did in Panama at his blog: here.

* This is a blatant lie

End of 24 = The Start of Sopranos

Tonight is bittersweet for me. I love 24, especially Bauer, and so a 2-hour season finale should put me over the top. That said, it does signal the end of TV for the summer. We already said goodbye to The Office last week and this week we are losing 24 and Lost (not to mention countless other shows I watch but am too lazy to find links for).

If you haven't figured it out, I love TV. So the summer (good Jenna Fischer there) is always an interesting time for me because I have to find something to do (God forbid I go outside...). Basically, I like to use this time to catch up on older TV shows (previously, I've used this time to catch up on older seasons of 24). I've kind of mentioned this before, but I like to watch shows on DVD - no weeks off, no commercials, no BS - you can knock out an entire season in a week.

Anyway, the show I'm picking up this summer? The Sopranos. I apparently fall for dominating male-leads with questionable antics, so this seems like a pretty easy transition. I also have the first 5 seasons on DVD, so that makes it pretty easy. Plus, there's a guy on there named Paulie Walnuts that brings us marvelous scenes like this:



I haven't watched any more than a YouTube.com clip or an occasional episode of The Sopranos, but I'm pretty sure he's gonna be my favorite character. Although that might just be because we used to call one of our friends Sarah Pecans based on the name Paulie Walnuts (and even that was a Real World Key West reference, not a Sopranos one).

Of course, if you have any other suggestions for TV shows - I'm always game. I've been told I should start watching The Wire as well because it plays to my hip-hop roots (just like Phil Collins).

I guess I could become a WNBA fan...sorry, that's not even a funny joke. On a side note, how in the hell can a WNBA team have a "Jam Cam?" Do they not know there needs to be jams to have a Jam Cam?

Goodbye Jack. See you next season.

It's The 100th Post Extravaganza!

Well, this is post # 100 since my return. I'm not counting my old posts (I deleted all of them, anyway) so...

Welcome To The 100th Post Extravaganza!

While writing this post, I realized how much time I've wasted watching videos on the Internets (and, subsequently, writing about some of the good ones). So today I've decided to waste a lot of your time by posting a bunch of videos. I've also looked back over my old posts and provided links to some of my favorites so you can enjoy them again.

Anyway, thanks for continually reading my blog (even when I'm not funny), and, hopefully, you'll keep coming back for another 100 (or more) posts.

On to the extravaganza...

I thought I'd start off by taking you through my process for what videos I post. Take you into the mind of the Skeet Thrower, if you will. There are a few things that immediately peak my interest when watching videos on the Internets. A few of them are porn, midgets and fighting. So, when I saw this video about midgets on the Jerry Springer show, understandably I was excited.



Just like my boy Big Boi said: like two midgets in the backseat wrasslin' (that link may not be is not completely sfw). That midget fight is awesome. That said, I have to ask, why the hell do they take off their shirts? Is it so I can see your dominating figure? Does Jerry tell them beforehand, "Listen, IIIIIII'm gonna need you to take off your shirts. It will look more realistic." Also, how funny is it that the one dude has to use the wall to get up - he's like a tryanous rex. And now I'm making fun of handicapped things people can't control. I'm going to hell (but we already knew that, didn't we).

Speaking of things we can't controls, yesterday was the Super Bowl, and I thought it sucked. Not because the Bears lost (making me 0-4 with teams I was rooting for) but because it was just a bad game. Fortunately, it was not the apocalypse. Hope you enjoyed the Colts winning it all. Anyway, a lot of people enjoy watching Super Bowl commercials. I especially enjoyed the Robert Goulet Emerald Nuts commercial. That said, let me show you one of my favorite commercials that you did not see during the Super Bowl.



Was that Colonel Sanders' first job? What made him decide to sell chicken instead? Is this how the Colonel died? And who knew you could rent guns? Isn't that potentially the least safe thing we could have going on? Is there a waiting period or can you just walk in pissed of and rent an assault rifle? What the deuce?

Anyway, in other commercials you didn't see, I bring you a real, old school advertisement for cigs.



The Flinstones? No wonder everyone smoked. If only Barney would have asked for a loosey. What in the hell was wrong with us (and by us I mean cigarette execs)? Was that on during cartoons? They are easily way worse than me. I'm not sure if that is funny or just a "what in the hell" video.

Back to things I think are funny - I bring you a video entitled "Things You Can't Do When You're Not in the Pool."


I think it would have been pretty funny for that dude to have the mythical "purple ink" follow him around after he peed himself. That damn purple ink thing was always the cruelest of the pool jokes.

Its not all funny here at the Skeet Thrower. No, sometimes I give you cool videos as well. Like this fight video, Tony vs. Paul. It is kinda long, but still pretty cool. Impressive dedication from a couple of nobody's. Still not as cool as Wheezy's wooden sword fight video (no, that video is not on his website or on the Internets. It is lost, much like the Holy Grail, as I have not seen it in like 8 years. If he ever finds it, it will be YouTube.com gold...). Anyway, here's the video:



So, now that you've made it through my videos and you're all like, "Yeah, but Skeet Thrower, that wasn't as good as that one time you posted [something random]. I liked that better." Fortunately, I was prepared for assholes people that liked my old posts like you. So, I've compiled links to some of my favorite posts here. Rather than listing the titles, I'm going to confuse you with a very brief summary of the post.

• - Power Rangers


• - Zlad


• - Gay Weather


• - Dick in a Box


• - Photoshopped Razorbacks


• - The Nine - BOX


• - Classic Music Video


• - Dwight Schrute PSA


• - WNBA Dunks

If you're like, "Skeet Thrower, I've seen all of those already - don't you have something new?", the answer is, yes. Here are a few more to waste your time:

• - A brilliant video featuring a young Arnold in Brazil. There are definitely some NSFW parts to this video, so save this one for home: Arnold in Rio


• - Wheezy's Blog (I push this almost as much as I push 24)


• - B-List Celebrities Random People Tazed


• - Bad Ass Flash Game - Line Rider


• - Another hilarious midget fight here...wait those might just be little kids. That one might as well be Carmello.
  
• - Derka Derka Derka


• - Aqua Teen Bomb Threat


• - Kitty Washing Machine


• - Bride Wig Out

I love those last two videos, but they're all over the Internets, no need to post them again.

So, now I've officially wasted a lot of your time. If you get don't get anything done today, don't blame me. I hope you enjoyed the extravaganza and the 99 previous posts. Keep on reading because there's more good stuff to come (if nothing else, I've got some loose ends to tie up). As always, I love comments and emails (especially the barage of "you're not funny" ones, those don't hurt at all). Have a good one. Skeet Skeet Skeet Skeet.

Monday Means...

...its time for a weekend recap:

Nothing happened. Except someone stole my leather jacket from the bar we were at this weekend. Honestly, who just picks a coat off of the back of a chair. The only thing that could make me feel better is a good skeet throwing pic. Fortunately, the Spurs beat the Lakers this weekend and I got a good one.



Tough break for that guy...good break for me. The Spurs victory combined with that pic (and a few looks at the Diddy pic from Friday and the new look Wheezy's blog) made me realize there's not much I can do about it.

In other sports news, I watch women's tennis. I actually enjoy it (as compared to the WNBA - I actually asked my friends to allow me to add the WNBA to the death pool, even though its not a person, so I could have a financial interest in the WNBA's death). Anyway, this chick,



smoked this chick,



for the Austrialian Open. Serena still scares the bejesus out of me. That said, Maria's grunt may be the most ludicrous thing in tennis:



Amelie Mauresmo (the one who looks like a man) said:

As though her screaming on the court isn’t distracting enough but then she has to do it everywhere else, too. She’ll pick up her bag – ‘Eeeee-ahhh’ – then open the zipper – ‘Mmmm-baaaa’ – then put it back down again – ‘Ruh-oooh.’ Completely absurd. And that’s just one example. But the worst part is in the bathroom, no doubt. It’s gotten to the point that if I see her heading for a stall I leave the locker room for a while. I’d listen to my iPod, but I can hear her grunting over top of that even.

This is Mauresmo:



Sounds like a little frustration and a little jealousy - from a man that can't win in the the freaking women's tennis league.

Anyway, hope you had a better weekend than me. In either case, I'm sure you heard all about Michael Vick and the "Weed In A Bottle" issue. If you didn't, you don't follow sports, so click the link. They talked about it on SNL and it was kinda funny. On a side note, I think I'm kinda biased against SNL right now (despite the genious of Dick In A Box, so I'm not sure if its really funny and I'm missing out or if its just kinda funny. Anyway, here it is:

I Like Box...Just Not Box in a Box

I have had countless emails thrown my way (not to mention a post the other day) asking my if I had seen the "Box in a Box" video. And to answer your question: Yes, I've seen Box in a Box.

And, I guess I just didn't like it that much. The chick in the video just annoys me. It is a combination of her constant movement (she's trying to dance, but its just awkward) and trying too hard to be funny. Don't get me wrong, I love how she is trying to popularize the use of the word "Box". Trust me, I've been pushing that for years, even here on this blog (see here and a video here), but overall, I just was ok on it. It's nothing special.

If you haven't seen it, I'll include a link for you (below). In the meantime, I'll allow Keith Olbermann to give you the X's and O's. The best part of KO's commentary is that he has a quote from Justin Timberlake at the end. Justin says "He doesn't know how he feels about (the parody)." KO agrees and so do I. It's not awful but its just not great.



Wait - who's Keith Olbermann? Well, he's on MSNBC now (I don't watch his show), but he used to be on SportsCenter. I couldn't find a clip, but I did find this funny SportsCenter commercial. It features Dan Patrick and KO. Pretty funny...



...but not as funny as this clip from Anchorman. It's basically the exact same idea, except that Will Ferrell took this idea and perfected it. It is funny everytime you watch it. And always good to yell at your friends or your wife.



Which brings me back to Box in a Box. It's just not that funny. She is successful in using someone else's genious idea, but she doesn't really add anything to it. If anything it's worse. And now, if I meet this "bunny," I am going to punch her in the ovary. Straight shot.

Yes, there are some parts where you will laugh, but to me it's kind of like the WNBA (watch this if you haven't!). There are occasional moments where you may be impressed, but for the most part, its just awkward.

Anyway, here's Box in a Box. You can decide for yourself what you think of it. If you decide to go, notice that the person that provided the video is named "boxsinger." That may be the best part.

Good Times

I have well documented my hatred for the WNBA. I was once duped into watching a game - the very first one - for about 10 minutes. Then I realized it was crap. My problem is that its pretty hard for me to hate something that can make me laugh so hard, and every single time I watch this clip, I laugh a little bit harder.