Friday, April 27, 2007

Casual Dress Friday: BCS Top 5 Chicas

It's a Casual Dress Friday here at the Skeet Thrower and I wanted to apologize for the number of NSFW links on Wednesday's post. I wanted to, really. Then I remembered that this is the Skeet Thrower and I don't have to apologize for anything.

Anyway, I've been talking about my BCS ratings for a long time. Obviously you all know about the BCS Man Crush List and the BCS Bottom Five, but what started these conversations was the discussion of the BCS Top Five Chicas. Today, as promised, I am bringing you my list.

As always, we'll start with the rules:

The Rules:

  1. A person on the list must have a box

  2. I can only set the list once a year. Once set, I must wait until the new calendar year to set a new BCS list baring a catastrophic incident to someone on the list

  3. If someone on the list were to say "Skeet Thrower, I love your blog, let's have a good skeet throwing session," I could partake and my wife couldn't get mad.

And that's it. With that I introduce to you my list.

Skeet Thrower's Note: For the rest of today's post just assume that the link is moderately NSFW unless I say otherwise. As with all of my links, I won't crest PG-13 - this is a family site.

The BCS Top 5 Chicas

5. Wild Card: Christina Milian

The number 5 spot is the Wild Card spot. This is where I like to place my under-the-radar (SFW) hot chick that most people forget about/don't know. This year, as it has been for like the last three years, it is Christina Milian (SFW). I'm not sure what it is, but I think it started with this music video and continued in this video (SFW) and steam-rolled right through Be Cool (SFW), which wasn't a very good movie by the way. She's pretty hot and a good way to start off my list.

4. Most Obtainable: Elisha Cuthbert

The number 4 slot I like to reserve for the most attainable chica on the list. Now, that doesn't mean that she's an easy pickup; rather, I think that if I had a legitamite shot (SFW) with anyone on this list, she'd be the one that I'd have the best shot with. Anyway, Elisha came onto my radar with the movie The Girl Next Door (which is surprisingly good, especially if Elisha is on your list). That said, what really solidified her on my list is her role as Kim Bauer in 24 (Damnit, I love that show...)

3. Eva Longoria

I talked about Eva a lot on Monday (SFW), so I won't rehash this too much. Let's be honest, Eva came out of no where with Desperate Housewives (did you ever wonder why they kept showing her in lingerie in the commercials during football) and she's been riding in the BCS ever since.

This year; however, Eva fell to number three (from number two) because this commercial (SFW) sucks.

2. Vanessa Marcil

She's number two, so I'll give you two reasons why she's on this list: 1) She's on the show Las Vegas, which I love and 2) She's smoking hot. Other than that I'll let these two (SFW) videos do the talking.

This is an old one you've seen before:

And this one is awesome:

1. Salma Hayek

I don't know if you've ever seen Desperado (an awesome movie, and as much as I want to, I can't show you her defining scene from that movie...but I will show you another scene from that movie in a second) or From Dusk Till Dawn (a crappy movie), but those two movies should pretty much sum it up. Salma is hot and was probably at the top of the BCS even before there was a BCS list. Keep up the good work, Salma.

This ends the perpetual NSFW warning.

So that's my BCS list. I hope you enjoy. I also hope this helps you come up with your own BCS list. Then you could do something creepy and make a Star Doll out of them. (What in the hell is that Star Doll thing? Paper dolls? 6+ million hits?!?)

Anyway, since this is Testosterone Week we need to end with a gun fight. I promised you a scene from Desperado and now I am delivering to you the bar fight. This is a bad-ass scene where Antonio Banderas kills a bunch of random dudes. Great way to start a movie (and waste 10 minutes on a Friday).

Have a good weekend.

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Testosterone Week: Who is Jenn Sterger?

Welcome back to testosterone week. In the interest of full disclosure, you should know that the NBA commercials post has been delayed until next week.

Also, apparently Google thinks that Testosterone Week is gay. When I came to the Skeet Thrower to write today's post, much like in Wheezy's post, I saw an ad that asks - Are You Gay?

Last time I checked, I have a wife (see I do mention you, Shorty) and I'm not really a huge fan of cod pieces, so I'm not gay. Not that there's anything wrong with that. Ironically, when I clicked through some of my posts,the only time the ad came up was on Monday's post and and a post with Catalina from My Name Is Earl dancing dressed like a nappy ho wearing the opposite of a lot of clothing.

Here's the visual proof of the ad:

Bastards. Looks like we need something to man it up. Mr. T should help us get it going.

I don't remember that commercial, but I wish Snickers still used the slogan Get Some Nuts. That is awesome.

Anyway, today I wanted to bring someone and something to your attention. You may or may not know who Jenn Sterger is. 'Round the internets I guess she is known as the "Facebook (.com) Princess" because she had a NSFW album that she posted on The of her and some friends known as the FSU Cowgirls (NSFW). If you were in college when I was in college, you saw that album.

So, predictably she went onto Maxim and Playboy. But her next career move surprized me. Somehow, she got a blog on Sports Illustrated. How in the hell did that happen? Of course, as you expect, SI has a gallery of Jenn Sterger pics as well.

Since I hadn't read any of her stuff before, and I heard that she wanted to go onto be a lawyer, I decided to read through some of it. I found a mailbag where she commented on Britney Spears (NSFWish).

Ah, Brtiney (that's a Britney video link - what do you think), what better way to celebrate Testosterone Week. In high school she may have topped my BCS list. Now, sadly, she doesn't even come close. That said, she is starting to look better. Kinda.

Britney's fall from grace is prolly one of the most disappointing things that happened in my life time. Right up there with American Gladiators going off-air (along with all of its copy-cats) and Hulk Hogan turning on Randy Savage. I hope she returns to form, kinda like Christina changed from nappy ho back to hottie (neither of those are particularly SFW).

In any case, you know what will never fall from grace? High-School Chicks Mad TV Sweet ninja fights like this one:

That's right, that is a young Bruce Lee fighting Chuck Norris. Good times. Manly times.

Monday, April 23, 2007

It's Testosterone Week

I was looking back over my posts from the last few weeks and I realized that I have talked a lot about dudes and man-crushes. Of course, when your #1 man-crush is Jack Bauer, I think that the talk is justified.

Anyway, I'm bringing back some testosterone this week, starting today and culminating in Friday's BCS Top 5 Chica's post.

So, you may have read yesterday in the comments that I went to the Spurs game. They lost and that sucked, but at least it was a good game. One of the highlights of attending the game was catching Tony Parker's lady-friend in person. That's right, Miss Eva Longoria (kinda NSFW, but it was on ABC) was there (if you don't know already, she's pretty damn hot (again, kinda NSFW, Maxim-ish shots here)).

As I said, she's dating Tony Parker (you may be expecting another crappy Tony Parker rap video, but instead that is a boring dateline interview) and makes it to quite a few games. ABC, TNT, Fox Sports, etc. are all gracious enough to show her several times in HD on TV, so I was curious to see her in person because wondered how she would look for reals. Turns out she is pretty good looking in person. Even Shorty commented on how good she looked (and you know another lady is attractive when your wife/girlfried/sister is willing to compliment them). So that was good.

Ironically, my only problem with Jack Bauer has been because of Eva. In the movie The Sentinal, which features both Bauer and Eva, there is a scene where Bauer meets Eva and he tells her to dress more professionally (which meant not showing off her body). That was a bush league move. Real bush, Jack. If you were a man I wasn't scared of you, I'd slap you.

Anyway, the whole reason I wanted to post today was to show you two videos. First, a milk ad directed at men. This may be one of the funnier milk ads of all-time (although the funniest is still the bukkake milk one).

That's a real milk ad. I'm impressed they could say that without someone getting upset. That said, they probably watched this video first.

That's right, know your limits role.

Welcome to testosterone week, men.

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Week In Recap: Shannon Elizabeth

I'm back in Austin (as of Friday night) and I started catching up on all of the TV I missed (I watched Lost and 24 so it wasn't too much). Anyway, I watcthed the show I recommended to you all last week, Thank God You're Here. It featured, among other people, Shannon Elizabeth (Nadia, from American Pie (NSFW)).

I'm sure you are all very surprized, much like myself, that Shannon Elizabeth was still alive. I didn't know she did anything after Tomcats (a very respectible movie by the way). Anyway, the clip above is the final scene where they put all of the actors in one sketch. Shannon just ended up making out with everyone, which was funny. But the real highlight was Shannon's individual scene.

I'm not sure that's allowed on NBC. Good times. Welcome back to life Shannon Elizabeth. I'll watch American Pie tonight, just for you.

On to the recap:

On Monday, I wrote a long post just to tell you I was in Kokomo

Thursday, I talked about Pam being kinda hot.

The Association reigned supreme on Friday.

Have a good week.

Friday, April 20, 2007

Casual Dress Friday: The Association Starts Tomorrow

Its a Casual Dress Friday here at the Skeet Thrower and its a very exciting weekend for me. Not only am I about to finish up my week here in Kokomo, IN but the real Association season (aka the playoffs) start tomorrow. In celebration of this joyous event, I have a plethora of NBA commercials and clips to give you something to laugh at while you sit through the next 2 months of good basketball.

We'll start with the probable MVP, Dirk Nowitzki. I'm not going to describe this video - just watch it.

Dirk looks like an idiot the entire time. Now, Dirk is a great basketball player (he helped me win one of my fantasy leagues after my boy Agent Zero went down) but I'll say this - I never really bought into the whole, the NBA sucks since Jordan left thing, but when the MVP race is between these two guys, we're in trouble.

While we're talking about foreign big men, take a look at this Pau Gasol car commercial. Since I can't speak whatever language it is, I can't tell you the premise of the commercial, but I do know that Gasol is a blow-up doll.

The cheerleader may be the most ridiculous part of that whole thing. Speaking of ridiculous, here is a promo video for a mid-90's Washington Bullets (they are now the Wizards) team. The best part of that video is Gheorghe Muresan (another foreigh big man!). Who is he you ask? An ungodly tall and awkward center and the highlight of his life may have been My Giant with Billy Crystal. Anyway, since I brought him up, here is a video of Muresan dancing with ESPN anchors Karl Ravich and Kenny Mayne (on a side note, shouldn't we have known that Mayne was gonna suck on DWTS thanks to this clip?).

I'll stay with the theme of big men and show you a funny commercial featuring the Diesel, Shaquille O'Neal. He's had a few over the years (and also some unintentially funny movies), but this is one of my favorites.

Baxter, you know I don't speak Spanish! Since I'm on the topic of former Lakers, here is a 7up commerical from Magic Johnson. Two things about this commercial: 1) I think he's wasted and 2) I'm not sure who Ann Meyers is, but I'm pretty sure she prolly has the HIV now.

Another old school player, Charles Barkley, has some good commercials out right now...but this one will always be my favorite (check out that sweet early 90's outfit!).

Moving to the opposite end of the spectrum, here's a good (and kinda weird) rookie commercial. This is Adam Morrison's dirty stache commercial. The best part of that may be at the end where he talks about driving around in a muscle car solving mysteries. Made me think of this, which made me laugh.

At this point, I've decided that this post is too long so I'm going to break it off and give you another piece next week sometime (besides, it will take too long to load if I keep going). Whether you enjoy the Association or not, you've got to enjoy some of these commercials. I'll leave you with one more video - its actually a spoof of a real Nike commercial, The Third Coming. I laughed pretty hard at this one.

Have a good weekend.

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Bartenders, SNL and Team Karen

As I said Monday, I'm traveling. So when I go out to eat, I usually sit at the bar of whatever restaurant I go to because I am by myself. This usually gives me a way to watch TV and get my food rather promptly. As a bonus I'm not sitting all by myself (the people in the crowd dancing in that video kill me...also, did you know that song was originally sung by Eric Carmen - that's Carmen not Cartman - and not by a woman? I did not) looking like a tool.

Anyway, can someone please explain to me why the dumpy bartender feels that she needs to flirt with me? Now, I'm not one to turn down some casual flirting, but, honestly, I'm there for food, you're gonna get tipped, the ring (that one gets even funnier at the end) on my finger clearly indicates that I'm married despite the fact that I'm sitting at a bar by myself, and, perhaps most importantly, you're not hot and you know it. It's one thing if you are trying to play up the cute angle, but you know you can't do that so why are you trying to give me the treatment? This may work for the truckers that roll through Kokomo, but I'm in a suit, looking dapper and clearly not looking to hook-up with you. Please, be nice, but please, don't treat me like I'm a horny 15-year-old that will put my cod in anything that resembles a box.

But I digress. What I really wanted to do today was beat a dead horse. I have two clips, one that you may have seen (I watched it live) and one I hadn't seen until today. They show just how far SNL has fallen.

I'll start with the good clip. It features Chris Farley, Phil Hartman and Mohr's BCS #1 Man-Crush, Bill Murray.

I laughed the entire way through that skit. Start to finish. I probably laughed the hardest when that dude got tagged in the mejitos. Good times.

On the other end of the spectrum, here is a clip from a recent SNL featuring Lindsay Lohan.

The premise of that skit isn't funny and it features a whole slew of SNL personalities I don't like, including a cameo from Keenan. Ironically, I laughed at that skit, not because it was all that funny, but because they were all laughing so hard (something that Jimmy Fallon is notorious for). Breaking the skit is what made that sketch funny and that's not good news. I guess it could be worse...they could be using Carlos Mencia. SNL is diappointing each and every week (much like this clip of Andre Agassi tagging Steffi Graf) and I'm hoping that if I keep saying it, finally it will catch on.

I've decided that I can't leave you with that, and since it is Thursday, that means its a great time to give an Office shout-out. I wanted to mention the undercover hottness of Pam (Jenna Fischer). My friends and I have been discussing this ever since we saw these Puma ads from a couple years ago, but for me it really came to light in the movie Blades of Glory (which was pretty funny by the way - if nothing else, there's a Mr. Feeny cameo and I love Boy Meets World). There's a clip here that is PG-13 so, kids, you should probably not watch this one.

I'm still a Team Karen person, but I may be more apt to root for Team Pam after that...

I guess I would be OK with Jim switching to team Pam after Blades of Glory.

Monday, April 16, 2007

Aruba, Jamaica, Ooh I wanna Make Ya...

So, I'm traveling in Indiana again this week (hence, no recap - although there's a brief one at the end - and the late Monday post), albeit for a much happier reason - I'm teaching a class. Of course, this class isn't somewhere cool like San Diego or even Boston, no, I'm in Kokomo, IN (on a side note, my favorite part of that Kokomo wikipeida link is the Notable People link which includes no one of note except for, and I quote, "All members of the Central Middle School First Lego Leage Team." I'm not sure what a Leage Team is, but while I'm here I hope to find out). Anyway, like I said, I'm in Kokomo, IN, population 26,113, although they do have Wii's in the local Best Buy - you have no idea how tempted I was...That's right, ladies and skeet throwers, way down in Kokomo, that's where I wanna goo-oooooo (one of those videos is there because I love the Muppets and one of those videos is there because of the comments: "I´ve heard goodloking girls hang with ugly and the other way, just to feel pretty. But this was extreme" and "Man,no wonder they put the decent blonde and the hot burnette in the front" decide).

So, I'm in a Hampton Inn, which is really, really nice, by the way (except for the crazy dog next door that keeps yapping and yipping), but the craziest thing happened to me. Last night, I was driving up to my hotel and someone jumped out at me from the shoulder. Honestly, I was driving at like 70 mph and I had to I swerve out of the way, although I still nearly tagged the biatch. No biggie (that link is why I could never win a hip-hop freestyle battle in the streets), though right - just an idiot.

Later, after checking into my hotel, I went out to my car to get my bag and some random person jumped out at me. Turns out it was the same chica I almost tagged on the road (she had no clue it was me, though). The box told me she was stranded, so I let her use my cell to call her friends (don't worry, I actually dialed the number). When her friends wouldn't come pick her up, she wanted money "for a cab ride" or "for gas money for her friends." In exchange, she offered to come to my room and "give me a dance and maybe a little touch." Needless to say, the Skeet Thrower isn't taking dances from no random bitches, so I turned her down and (presumably) pissed her off...turned out to be a good story though.

That last paragraph is 100% true. Not kidding.

Anyway, too cool myself down, I came inside and watched this video immediately.

The last sentence is 100% not true. At least the whole needing to cool down thing - that heezy was real shady (and to tell you the truth I was kinda worried about getting jumped). Anyway, if you ever needed proof that gay-rod is gay, that is it (not that there's anything wrong with that says the man that keeps an updated BCS Man Crush listed on the side).

Here's the recap I promised:

On Monday, I talked about TMNT and Ninjas. Wheezy went and saw TMNT last weekend and gave a detailed run-down of it (as well as a genious comic) on his blog.

On Wednesday, I still had a 3/4 chub from Bauer's kill from Monday and couldn't really think about anything else. Speaking of 24, did you know the 24's Vice-President Noah Daniels' real-name is Powers Boothe. Shorty, we're naming our first kid Powers. It is decided, no more controversy.

Stuart Scott's eye attacked us on a Casual Dress Friday. On a side note, another blog came up with a great blog idea for Fridays, Sideboob Friday. The first edition featured Hillary Duff (real-borderline SFW). I may steal that if they don't use it...

In other news, I saw a lot of funny things after the Stone Buddah, Tim Duncan, got ejeceted (for to the end of that clip for the BS offensive foul call on the pick, too) on Sunday, but this may have been the funniest.

Also, I refuse to answer to Laura on her blog again. Responding blog-to-blog seems ridiculous. That said, I never use The either. Also, we'll introduce you to the Circle of Excellence this summer. Just get ready.

Finally - Worst. Tap-Out (that's NSFW...but if you're at work right now, you're wondering whether you should risk it...prolly not - actually, defintitely not, just let me say it's what I could have gotten if I went for that dance and that's really they only reason it is linked...). Scene. Ever. It's too bad because I really liked Palmer up to that point (except for a few bitchy things). That said, what would a season of 24 be without a rogue Bauer...

Friday, April 13, 2007

Casual Dress Friday: Booyah

Its a Casual Dress Friday here at the Skeet Thrower, but I wanted start on a not so casual thing today: Don Imus. Do you know who he is? I didn't until he called the Rutgers basketball women "nappy headed hos." I saw this last week on the Internets and then it exploded all over TV, leading to Imus getting fired. Again, I don't even know who Don Imus is. No matter what he did, his popularity is now 100000000000000000x greater because of all of this publicity.

But despite the fact that I want to start with Imus, I'm not here to talk about Imus. Actually I'm wanted to talk about something that was said surrounding the Imus situation. This statement was made by Stuart Scott (you may have figured this out from the profile shot groteseque picture at the right). On a side note, have they figured out what in the hell is wrong with Stuart Scott's eye. Honestly. I'm not going to make a list of STD's I wouldn't want to get (because pretty much all of them are up there) but if I had to rank them I know Stuart Scott's eye would come in pretty high on that list.

Sorry, I'll get back on track...its just that I feel Stuart Scott's eye is attacking me...anyway, Stuart Scott has done some pretty weird things to get publicity (just watch for the Stuart Scott interludes in that one...Raise the Roof) before, but this may top it. He was on ESPNRadio yesterday and Mike and Mike asked him about the Imus thing. Scott said rappers who use those words "mean it in an affectionate way."

Are you nuts?

Let's check out a couple of examples:

- defines Ho as:
1) Prostitute, Whore, Hooker, Tramp, Slut
2) A word Santa Clause says three times when he sees your wife, mother and sister together in the same room,
3) A whore
4) A woman like my ex-girlfriend. Just to name a few.

- Here's Ludacris - Ho (this may be the worst modern video ever - Wheezy when you get your graphics art degree, I demand that you remake this video with more polygons or whatever you need...)

Outside of the Santa thing, I'm pretty sure none of those things above are too affectionate. And if you didn't already know: Stuart Scott is an idiot.

On the plus side, "Booyah" did result in a 10 second porn scene clip that floated around on the Internets when I was in college. Its too graphic to describe here, but I'll be glad to tell you about it sometime.

In any case, someone has taken the time to route (SFW) to the Official Website of Rutgers Intercollegiate Athletics. Good times.

You know, none of us would have any problems if we had a legion of late 80's/early 90's cartoon stars to help us resolve our problems (there's a couple TMNT shots in there, if you can make it - that's a 30 minute video there).

Speaking of the Turtles, here's a clip from their brief "Coming Out Their Shells" musical. Wheezy and I were talking about this last night and I figured I'd put a clip up here.

Sorry about being so late today. I've been really busy. Also, sorry about the Wanda Sykes link above. I just thought she made a few "I thought he was dead" jokes and I'm a sucker for those.

Have a good weekend.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

24 and a Little Observational Comedy

Holy Nuts. Did you watch 24 on Monday? That was a badass scene. I have not seen Bauer dominate like that since season 1. I cannot explain how kick ass (remember when Sarah Michelle Gellar and Britney Murphy were alive?) that was. It was a movie quality beat-down. In case you missed it, this scene is why Bauer is #1 on the BCS Man-Crush list (even if you didn't miss it, you should prolly watch this).

Best 4 minutes of 24 this season. The look on Jack's face when he is hanging that dude was awesome. With that kind of rage, I think Bauer could pretty much dominate anyone, including Arnold (wait until there's like a minute left in that one - its worth it).

In case they take the Bauer scene down from the, you can go to Bauer Count and watch footage there. I've mentioned Bauer Count before - it keeps a tally of all Bauer kills throughout the season with video evidence.

Speaking of the man-crush list, there's been some movement - Joel McHale has come out of nowhere to jump into 3rd place on the list. While I was watching his performance on "Thank God You're Here" (a very good show by the way) on Monday (after 24, of course), I realized that he can do no wrong. As is the custom, here's a gratuitous clip of McHale:

In other news, I was sent a link on IM yesterday from my work's internal bulletin board. All the IM said was "You'll figure it out." I open up the link and find this listing:

Seriously. Not kidding. I almost bought it out of principle. Thanks, Ross. That's a good find. Nothing like a little observational comedy.

One final note today - did you know that the NHL Playoffs started today? Ya, me neither. I quit following them when they quit making NHL Hitz games (those things were awesome). Anyway, in celebration of the NHL playoffs, here's an awesome song I always enjoyed from the last good version of NHL Hitz, Hockey Monkey.

Monday, April 09, 2007

Another Dose of Hero Ninja Fever

It is Monday and that means it is time for Bauer to kick some ass. I don't know if you watch the previews for the next episode because there are differing opinions on this (note: I won't even ask if you watch the episode) - bt if you ddin't let me fill you in. Bauer gets tagged by a bullet. He might die. If Bauer dies, I may die - I can't lose Bauer and Agent Zero in one week. Of course, he's Bauer and the reason he is BCS number 1 is because he won't die.

In other news, there is a grave injustice I must discuss before I get to today's real topic - apparently there is some new chick on GSN's Playmania/Quiznation. Her name is Jessica York and she sucks. Honestly, I turn on the TV expecting Shandi or black-Shandi and I get bush-leaguer Jessica York. You can see the difference here. At least its not the European version with the gay dude. We need to get Bauer on this once the whole nukes thing is over.

Anyway, the whole point of today's blog was to ask if you knew that there's a new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie? Turns out they didn't really market it to us (they strayed towards real kids); however, since I keep my ears to the streets, I heard about it. That said, I haven't been able to convince my wife that we should see this yet, but I want to. I mean, I call myself a Turtles expert, how have I not seen this yet? Its all animation, but it is getting decent reviews (although it has dropped from the 8.0 it had earlier).

I'm not sure how I feel about it being animated. I mean who didn't love those giant, immobile turtle costumes and the "human" foot-clan. On a side note, that video made me think of an old joke that Wheezy used to tell about the first time a ninja broke someone's neck. I couldn't find the Internets link on his blizog, but now that I wrote this I'm sure he'll come through.

Anyway, from the movie preview, it looks like the cartoonists found a nice balance between comedy and the seriousness that is the Turtles. Although, I'm not so sure how good it can be without the Shredder. As I've said before, the best part about the Turtles is that they are ninjas, and fighting Shredder made sense because, well, he was also a ninja. Fighting monsters just isn't as good.

You know what else isn't as good? Foreign versions of the Turtles theme, especially the German edition which confuses the word "ninja" for "hero." Idiots.

Why do I feel those guys are just yelling at the mic as loud as they can. Also, that last ninja link is worth a look, if not for the preposterousness(I got that from my boy Todd's Google Reader Shared Items...waiting on that blog Todd).

While we are on the topic of ninjas, I thought I would show you the extended Afro Ninja video. I know you all have seen the Afro Ninja, but not everyone has seen the extended edition.

One final random ninja note for you baseball fans out there - you may want to know what Cubs pitcher Ryan Dempster did to improve himself in the offseason - he became a ninja. I'd much rather have that than an unhittable curve. Good work.

Week In Recap: It's Easter

It is Sunday which means it is time to recap last week. Overall, it was a rough week. First, Wheezy said that he is scaling back is hilarious comics. Then, Florida went ahead and won another championship, screwing my brackets. Then Gilbert Arenas died messed up his knee. Then at the Masters, everyone sucked. That damn sport is hard enough to watch as is, let alone when everyone is golfing like me.

Of course, it all turned around yesterday, as I went to an all-you-can-eat BBQ place. Good times. Plus, today is Sunday, and Entourage returns today. Plus it is Easter and I get to have good family time with my Austin family...and I get to show you this Easter related video.

Onto the recap:

On Wednesday, I was all over the place - but the main thing was that Shandi lost, slowing my plan of Woolery taking over the PIR.

On a Casual Dress Friday, I talked about Gilbert Arenas getting injured and showed you a guy singing the Alf theme.

My friend Kevin sent me an email (apparently some people haven't figured out that there's a comments section yet) that pointed out that the guy that sand the Alf theme may actually be a younger version of Joe Jackson. Who is Joe Jackson? I have no clue, but he did sing this song that will be stuck in your head. As a bonus, its a kinda crappy video.

Have a good week.

Friday, April 06, 2007

Casual Dress Friday: Sad News

It's a Casual Dress Friday here at the Skeet Thrower and I have some sad news to bring you today. #2 on the BCS Man-Crush List - Mr. Gilbert Arenas - jacked up his knee on Wednesday night. Effectively this means he is done for the season.

I hold a special place in my heart for Gilbert. I think it can be best summed up by Champoin Kinds.

Ok, maybe its not that serious, but he has carried me to first place in both of my fantasy basketball leagues and that's pretty serious. Unfortunately, his untimely injury could derail me in both leagues. Furthermore, we won't get to see him in any playoff action. This is sad news, indeed.

Normally, I would wish death upon Gerald Wallace for what he did to you, Gilbert (much like I wish death on China for what they did to Bauer...ha ha, just kidding China, don't torture me, please), but since he's on both of my fantasy teams as well, I just can't do that.

In a strange way, I blame myself for his knee injury. I watched Eragon Wednesday night. It was easily one of the worst movies I have seen in a while (although I should have known it was going to be crappy - the new Avril did the theme song for the movie). I think somehow my poor choice to watch that movie may have led to Gilbert getting jacked in the knee. So, I'm sorry, Gilbert.

Honestly, that Eregon movie was a trainwreck. I couldn't go more than 5 minutes without asking what in the hell was going on. At least it didn't have Sandra Oh. It had some crazy medieval stuff in it, but if you want to see a horse and some armor, just watch this clip of the Amazing Race. It's a lot shorter and it has a midget. I'm not sure what the premise of that show is (other than the fact that it is a freaking race), but anytime you dress up a midget in armor, you've got me hooked.

Speaking of trainwrecks, here is a guy singing the Alf theme.

I have watched that thing like 10 times. I think that guy is a real world Michael Scott.

Have a good weekend.

Wednesday, April 04, 2007

Shandi and a Cleveland Steamer?

If you haven't figured it out yet, I pretty much just like to waste a few minutes of your life every time I post. In between my little bits of wisdom (or just my thoughts on life), I tend to link dump on you - a veritable cleveland steamer (SFW) of links if you will.

In the links is where, I feel, I put some of my best stuff. Sometimes it is something that is funny but doesn't relate to the post, and other times it directly relates but has been all over the Internets and sometimes its just a little too dirty for this family website. The Shark Attack video link from Friday (and shown on the Skeet Thrower on Saturday) is a perfect example. They are ludicrous but had nothing to do with anything. Sadly, many people missed those videos because they didn't click all of the links.

The links are like the streets - its where the real, dirty truth is. I'm not sure what that means but it sounds cool. In any case, you should make sure that you explore all of the links (at least the ones that aren't self-promoting) for a full dose of Skeet Throwing humor (random or otherwise) everyday.

In other news, I should explain the lack of posts on Monday and Tuesday. I had this big post all written up Monday, but then it got too late (in other words, no one would have read it until Tuesday), so I decided to wait to post it. Of course, by Tuesday I had to scrap it thanks to Ohio State shooting threes like I do 8th grade girls (that was a precarious search). At least I could count on a good women's game on Tuesday You all should know that the last line was a joke. If nothing else, we got to see Joakin Noah's celebratory speach.

I didn't understand a thing he said there. Are we sure that Joakim Noah is actually a real person?

So Tuesday rolled around and it again got too late so I waited to post again. But today I figured I needed to write because all hell broke loose on my Woolery for PIR campaign last night. Shandi bonered her chance for fame and was voted off of Dancing with the Stars. Bush league, Shandi. Real bush. If you were a man, I would punch you.

That said, I never watched the show. All I ever saw was this clip.

That will be the first and last time that a DWTS clip is on this website (that's not a promise). In fact, the only reason it made the cut was because of the glimpse of Woolery at the end. Woolery was already upping his pub. If only Shandi had made it a little longer...

Anyway, seeing as how there's no real theme to today's post, here's an awesome video. Alanis covered Black Eyed Peas' My Humps. This is definitely worth a watch (or at least a listen).

Tastefully done, Alanis. Tastefully done.

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Week In Recap: It's a Shark Attack

What a disappointing set of tournament games this weekend. I knew it - the tourney had been too good thus far and we were in for a letdown (I also should take this time to say that I have an extreme dislike for Joakim Noah). This weekend had such potential: a couple NCAA tournament games, gorgeous weather, two Association titans colliding and Wrestlemania to top it all off. Wait, you never watched Wrestlemania? Then you've missed some good times my friends. That said, I haven't watched Wrestlemania in like 10 years and I don't plan on watching it tonight. The WWF (or WWE) has lost its connection to me, mainly because they don't create gems like this anymore:

That, ladies and gentlemen, is some Fuji Vice goodness for you. Easily some of the worst acting all time. The only place you're gonna see something that bad is on Cinemax or porn. Good times.

The WWE stopped making things like that and I quit watching.

On to the recap:

On Monday, I gave you an old school video as well as some sweet hip-hop lyrics.

Friday I dropped a that's what she said story on you as well as a clip to a movie called Shark Attack 3: Megalodon in the links. If you didn't watch it you really should. I've included it here:

If you thought that was funny - and you probably shouldn't be reading this if you didn't - check out another (more SFW) action clip from that movie.

One final note - back by popular demand - the complete blog in the