I Can Do Some Damage To Some Fried Chicken...

I was gonna write about Will Ferrell's new movie Semi-Pro, but I decided that it has been marketed to high-hell and whether you think you'll like/see the movie or not, you're probably tired of hearing about it.

So, today I'll take a different twist on Semi-Pro. Semi-Pro focuses on an earlier age of basketball. Some would call this a Golden Age - I'm not so sure. Don't get it twisted, I love old-school bball (and to be honest, I try to play like I'm an old school PF), but I'm a firm believer that Jordan changed everything for the better. Combine that with the fact that there hasn't been a more competitive, high-quality level of basketball in the NBA (at least in the west and the top of the east) for as long as I can remember (Seriously. Just look at the standings).

But I digress. The best part of old school hoops were the commercials (with a close 2nd being the crazy hair and the short shorts coming in dead last). There were some awesome ones (even if some of them perpetuated a negative stereotypes).

Don't know what I'm talking about? Just watch these today's videos. I have a couple fried chicken commercials from the late 80's/early 90's and a PSA from 1992. I won't say much about them other than I enjoyed them.

The first commercial is a Hardee's - remember, there were Hardee's in the 80's - commercial featuring Karl Malone (who knew Hardee's made fried chicken?). There's a boring commercial on the 2nd half, so don't worry about that one.



I really wish he would have said "Did you know how big their breasts are?" instead of "Did you know how big their pieces are?". That would have been classic (he does call out KFC's little breasts though). Just to let you know, I am going to start using the phrase "Do Some Damage To" a lot more now. Just be ready.

The second commercial features Magic Johnson. I shouldn't have to tell you that, but I will just in case.



Of course, you know bad filming wasn't relegated only to commercials. The 90's had a couple good PSAs featuring NBA players as well. Here's one featuring Chris Mullin, Tyrone Hill and MC Hammer.



Have a good weekend.

This Is How Things Get Ruined

There's been a running theme in a lot of the things I've read on the intermist lately - funny things becoming not funny. I've talked about it here before and I don't really want to rehash it again (although I'll probably talk about it tomorrow a little more in depth to be honest, so ignore that last sentence), but I wanted to take a look at two hip-hop trends, one that is crashing and another that is still rolling strong.

To be honest, nothing seems to crush the life of a hip-hop trend quicker than white people picking it up - not necessarily white people that are tight with the streets, rather, upper-class, older white people.

Example A: Crank Dat - people still love to Superman Dat Ho, but I've heard it hasn't been played in the best clubs for a while now. This is why.



Funny? Absolutely. Will that kill any cred for that song? You betcha.

Example B: Ghost riding that whip. Turns out that this still hasn't caught on with upper-middle class white America (just imagine your rich boss opening the car door to his Lexus and breaking it down next to his car) and I don't see it really happening. Thus, ghost riding is still cool as evidenced by this video.



Ghost ride that DeLorean. Funny? Fo sho, but it still keeps its cred.

Make It Rainn On This Film

If you're missing your Dwight/The Office/Rainn Wilson fix (the show will be back in April!), I think I have something to help you out. Apparently some the Film Independent Spirit Award committee hired Rainn to make some funny videos. I've included a couple here. (On a side note, doesn't "Spirit Award" sound like a code word for "Participant"? Who likes the participant ribbons? I hated when they gave those things out at competitions I was at. Did they win? No. So why in the hell would they want to remember it? I remember I got a participant ribbon once. I threw it away on my way out of the competition.)

Here's Rainn in the 3rd (and funniest) part of his interview with Jason Reitman (the director of Juno).



The first 2 parts can be seen here and here (the 3rd is easily the funniest).

Here's Rainn interviewing Todd Haynes who directed something called I'm Not There, which I know nothing about..but the interview is funny.



I just went back and looked at the cast from the movie I'm Not There and there are apparently two characters in the movie names Hobo Joe and Hobo Moe. I'll probably see it now. Anyway, Rainn also has an interview with a fake Julian Schnabel, who I also know nothing about.

I Love Me Some Milkshakes

Well, I'm back from my trip to the NFL Combine. I wasn't allowed to go inside of the combine arena itself, so I can't give you any updates as to how a certain player performed. I can tell you that twin brothers Rex Ryan and Rob Ryan both had a double steak burger, fries and a chocolate shake at the Steak & Shake every night at around 11:45pm. I'm not kidding - and I know this because I was eating the same thing every night at the same time.

The first night my boss and I sat at Steak & Shake, I was seated facing their table (for full disclosure, there were two other guys with them as well). At one point, Rob reached across the table and stole a milkshake from one of the other guys. I laughed to myself because it was the first time I had been in the vicinity of milkshakes since I saw There Will Be Blood. What do milkshakes and TWBB have to do with each other? There was an awesome scene in that movie where Daniel Day Lewis tells the scrawny guy from The Girl Next Door/Little Miss Sunshine (Paul Dano). Here's the scene if you haven't seen the movie.

Update: I've embedded a ridiculous cutup of this scene from Metacafe because the real thing keeps getting pulled from YouTube. You get the gist of it and it makes me laugh.



Side note: I didn't really like that movie, but I don't really like Upton Sinclair either, so take that with a grain of salt. Daniel Day Lewis did just win an award for that movie last night, though. That scene made me laugh though.

I didn't try to explain that scene to my boss, who hasn't seen the movie, because I didn't think it would be that funny if I had to explain it. Then SNL (which was pretty damn good) dropped this clip on us - it made me laugh pretty hard.



The milkshake bit was well done and the screaming about abandoning his boy was genius if you've seen the movie. Well done, SNL, and keep it up.

Also, if you ever have a chance to get a Steak & Shake milkshake, I recommend it.

No Parking Kicks It For Reals, Yo

You know I have to keep you updated to any break throughs in the white rap game. Well, there's a new group out there called No Parking that is bringing you some new freestyles. Well, they aren't really freestyles considering you can tell that they are reading from a script, but they are recorded over what appears to be a web cam and uploaded onto YouTube - that's got to be something right?

I won't tell you much about them - you can figure it out from the video - but they seem young. Oh, and they're white (have I said that yet?). Also, I'm not sure how its a group because its only one dude. Anyway, without further ado, here is their first song "Crank Dat Louisville."



I don't understand why he's so quiet - I keep expecting his mom to just bust through the door and tell him to turn down that crazy music. Apparently homeboy decided that he needed some backup (and maybe someone to make the spitting noise), so he recruited some chick for his next video. Bonus - I guess now they can be a group now (by your power's combined.... Here's the second video, "Get Low, Detroit Lions."



Sad news: I'll be out-of-town for the next couple of days and I have no clue whether I'll have the webermist. So, if I don't post...sorry. Here's a video of the NSFW-language video of the ghetto preacher to hold you over (make it through the first 1:45, trust me).

More Tracy Morgan Craziness

Let me give you a little insight into how I post. In Blogger, you can keep posts as drafts, so I create topics in post form. For instance, I have a ninjas topic, a Will Ferrell topic and a chicks topic. These topics are nice when I don't have much to write about or when I'm lazy because I can just pull a couple videos from them to fill things in. They are also useful in helping me fill posts when I find a crazy video, and today is one of those cases.

I saw this awesome Tracy Morgan video on a my favorite basketball blog, and I knew I had to post it right away. So today I'm giving you a Tracy Morgan video dump.



I'm not sure what producer decided they could let Tracy Morgan kick it improv style on their morning news show, but I have to imagine there were some pissed off viewers. Anyway, the next video is Tracy getting pissed in Blackass.



That's old but still makes me laugh. The best part about Tracy Jordan is that I feel he doesn't have to act to be his character on 30 Rock. After watching the clips above, tell me you think it was a hard transition for him to act in this clip.



Speaking of 30 Rock, here's another clip that made me laugh. Hard. It's 5 minutes long, but make sure you make it to the counseling session - it is worth it.

Ron Burgundy Reemerges

I've been saving this video for a while (a slow day or a day when I don't have time to post), but I figured with Will Ferrel's new movie coming out soon, you'll get enough of him so saving it doesn't matter.

Anyway, a couple weeks back, Ron Burgundy reemerged to interview Tom Izzo, the head coach of the Michigan State Spartans men's basketball team. It's Burgundy/Ferrell, so you already know whether you'll think it's funny or not. I laughed quite a bit, if for no other reason than it was some fresh Burgundy material.



Understanding completely that Blades of Glory and Talladega Night's weren't great, I don't understand how people can be negative about Will Ferrell. He was genius on SNL, his parts in The Ladies Man, Night at the Roxbury, Old School were magic, and Anchorman is a classic in my book. I get that he's just reprising the same roles, but if it makes you laugh, why not embrace it?

The Dunk Contest Is Back

You may or may not know, but this past weekend was the Black Super Bowl (also known as the NBA All-Star game). Last year, it was in Vegas, but this year it was in New Orleans and decidedly less crazy (how many times have I linked to that post?). While the all-star game itself happens on Sunday night, the other events happen on Friday and Saturday. Now,I know not all of you are NBA freaks, so most of you probably missed most of it, so in today's post I want to show you some of the cool stuff from this weekend.

Two of the coolest basketball memories I have are the first time watching the replays of Jordan's dunk contest battles and watching the 1996 dunk contest in person. Sadly, interest (and talent and watchability of) the dunk contest has wained lately. That all changed this year. There were some really, really good dunks in this contest - good enough that the people at the party I was at, stopped to watch the dunks, and I can't tell you the last time that happened.

Anyway, I've embedded some of the best dunks below. They are really good.

The first awesome dunk of the night was by Dwight Howard (there are a few of these coming). He throws an alley-oop off the back of the backboard, does a windmill while coming from behind the glass and dunks it.



Last year's champ Gerald Green blew out a candle on the back of the rim while dunking. He only got a 44 for this dunk, but he should have gotten a 50. This was probably the coolest dunk of the night but it was really hard to see how cool it was - the replays show it though.



To end the second round, Dwight Howard donned a Superman cape and literally threw the ball through the hoop. He didn't dunk it, but it was awesome anyway.



The first dunk of the finals was by Gerald Green who caught an alley-oop and went between his legs. This is a hard dunk when you have the ball the entire time, let alone off a pass.



Green followed that dunk up with the same dunk, only he did it barefoot. It didn't matter thought because on the second dunk of the finals was by Dwight Howard bounced the ball to himself, tapped it off the backboard with his left hand and dunked it with his right. Kenny Smith describes Howard as a video game, and after seeing this, I'm not sure how you could disagree.



It was over at that point.

In any case, that Superman dunk throw through the basket by Dwight Howard was one of the coolest things I've ever seen (even if it wasn't a dunk). I don't know if he'll come back next year to defend his title, but I'm not sure how he can top his performance. That was the hardest I've ever seen a ball dunked and every time he dunked our party stopped. The feeling I got watching him reminded me of the first time one of my friends dunked in a game - it was nutso. Honestly, when I have a place to hang posters, this pic will be a poster I own.

The dunk contest is back...

Have a good week.

Shakazoulou! Bring Yo A$$ to the Table!

A month ago (to the day actually) I showed you the David Wain series, Wainy Days. The video I posted was from YouTube, but the videos are actually from a site called My Damn Channel. I finally went back there to check out the site and was amazed by something I saw. To be honest, when I saw they had a "channel" just for Andy Milonakis, I almost left immediately, but then I saw a channel for Coolio. Its called Cookin' with Coolio and the first episode is Coolio Caprese Salad. I've embedded the video below but use some headphones for the swears.



Shakazoulou! I laughed multiple time during that video; although, I'm not sure whether it was just because Coolio was funny or whether I was remembering him from his Gangsta's Paradise and 1,2,3,4 (Sumpin' New) days. Its probably a mix of the two considering this is their ad for the channel.



That lobster dance was priceless. Have a good weekend.

Celebrate Valentine's Day with David Cross

It's Valentine's Day here at the Skeet Thrower, and so I'll assume that its also Valentine's Day for you. I hope you enjoy it/get some good candy or food. Last year, I had arguably the best Valentine's Day ever because my wife surprised me with a big screen TV. Of course, that was expensive, so this year Shorty and I are going low key and not doing anything large (that's what she said).

In any case, over the last few days I have been alternating between episodes of The Sopranos and Arrested Development at night on the previously mentioned TV. And because I think David Cross (he is Tobias Funke on AD) is funny, I figured we could enjoy a couple good David Cross videos.

First, here is the scene from Arrested Development that explains the picture above.



That line made me pee myself a little bit the first time I heard it.

I think the second video is very appropriate considering the holiday. Its a David Cross educational love song (its moderately NSFW - there is a girl in a bra).



I ain't no ho ho.

Best Ninja Kill Ever?

I spent a lot of time putting together that Berman post from yesterday (there was an update in case you didn't catch it) and now I don't have much time to write a post.

But fear not! I will not leave you without at least one video. Bonus: it features a ninja which is great because there hasn't been a post with a ninja in a while.

Your One Stop for All the Chris Berman Craziness

UPDATE 3: The videos have been pulled from YouTube, but I've got another site's videos embedded where I can now...
Sometimes I get so wrapped up into the intermets that I forget that even though I have seen a video roll through like 30 times, there are still a large number of people that haven't seen it. For instance, did you know that there are these funny videos of respected moderately annoying ESPN anchor Chris Berman showing up on the intermist? Well, I realized today that even though I have seen the videos a bunch of times, a bunch of you guys haven't. And even if you have, they are scattered all over the web - too many to even give a hat tip. So I'm gonna put them all in one place (there's a bunch of them and if you really don't care about Berman, you can always roll to the last video which has nothing to do with him).

The videos are apparently from some guy posting on YouTubes under the name Ampex2000 and he did an interview with Deadspin where he said he might post one more. You can even bookmark this page - I'll update it when it shows up (or you can just wait for the post to reappear your reader).

The first video that was posted (I think) is Berman just yelling at everyone in the studio. He references the Son of our Lord a lot in this one so exercise some caution and use some headphones. Pretty sure there's an f-bomb in there too.



Nothing like an explosive d-bag as your "lead" anchor/personality. That video pissed off the some religious group (again) and they protested at ESPN on Monday. The next video is Berman complaining again about the prompter. He comes off like a real jackass on this one. That said, this is the mildest of the videos.
** Don't have this one yet...


He doesn't seem like a fun guy to work with. My favorite video of the collection is the next one. In it, Berman just drops a bunch of f-bombs, which makes me laugh. They aren't censored, so exercise caution.



If you've ever wanted to know what a "duh-duh-duh" or how to smuggle drugs in from Canada, Berman will tell you how (see, you can even learn something today).



If I had been working with Berman up to this point, I probably could have used some of those 222's. This next one is really boring and I wouldn't recommend watching it (but for the sake of completeness I've included it) - it is Berman trying to use his "celebrity" status to get a table setup for his friends. It is the longest of the videos, and, like I said, not worth it.



The next video is Berman being kinda creepy, talking to a chick that desperately wants out of the conversation. He tries to sound all fancy with his wine talk, but the best part of the video comes 31 seconds in.
**Don't have this one yet


UPDATE: There's been a new video posted today (Tuesday). In this one Berman is clearly not happy with one of the most respected announcers in football history, Al Michaels. Standard NSFW language in this one.



UPDATE 2: Turns out ESPN says they don't care

Honestly, I kinda feel bad for Berman. He annoys me now, but I used to think he was really funny. I just imagine Berman as a grown up, successful version of Seth from Superbad. Speaking of Superbad, the Line-O-Rama feature (where they just do several takes on funny lines throughout the movie) from the DVD's extra features finally made it to the intermets and I've included it below because I think its funny. You'll prolly need headphones on this one because of the language.

Crazy Kool-Aid Commercials

Let me list some of the things you may not know I like:

Vegas.
Basketball.
Hip-Hop.
Watermelon.
Popeye's chicken bottomless plate (they don't call it a buffet, I have no clue why).
Jello.
And Kool-Aid. I love Kool-Aid.

A couple years ago when I was in grad school, I got a gift certificate to the grocery store I shopped at because I spent so much money at the store over the course of six months. I, of course, failed to use the coupon and on the last day I sent my soon-to-be brother-in-law to the store. He asked me what I wanted and I told him just to buy me some stuff. He ended up spending the entire thing on Kool-aid because he knew I love it that much. Anyway, here's a ridiculous Kool-aid commercial. Oh, by the way - it is in Spanish.



Apparently, whoever made that commercial has it all figured out: Kool-Aid is as important as the sun. Here's another one for good measure (this one's in English though).



Who thought this was a great commercial? "Let's have a big walking pitcher of Kool-Aid bust through stuff, scare some old people and then randomly give kids drinks." Genius. I guess it worked though, because I remember them and it was a big enough deal to get into Family Guy's pilot...

Real Reason For Going To Vegas

Well, it turns out I don't leave until 11 so I got a post up.

Here's a clip from The Soup that I thought was funny. I actually just wanted the real clip (I don't think Joel McHale really adds anything), but I couldn't find it. Besides, I haven't had a clip from The Soup in a long time.



Anyway, I figured I'd let you in on a secret - its the real reason I'm going to Vegas. I told my wife that we're gonna do a lot of business, but really - we're just gonna make a ridiculously bad rap video.



At least they kinda had a beatdown shot...

See you next week.

Conan Vs. Colbert

In the interest of full disclosure, I should let you know that I will probably be MIA after today. I'll try to sneak a post in tomorrow, but I'm not sure if it will happen. My company (that's a new and improved website and its going to be improving even more in the near future!) just completed version 1.0 of our software and so all of the full time employees are going to Vegas as a bonus/planning/bonding activity. It should be a lot of fun. Unfortunately, I highly doubt I will have time to write a post (and I may not even have access to the intermets). So, I apologize - I will be back Monday.

Anyway, last week sometime I turned on the Colbert Report to see that he still had his feud going with Conan (and they had now involved Jon Stewart). A couple nights ago (Monday, I think), Conan summarized the whole thing. I wasn't sure where he was going with it, but I laughed pretty hard. The clip is up on YouTube and I've included it here.



If you don't want to watch an entire 8 minute clip, the fight scene between Conan, Colbert and Stewart can be seen at that link. It is well worth watching because it made me laugh pretty hard.

In case I don't get something posted, here's a link to the R-rated, definitely NSFW trailer for Forgetting Sarah Marshall (the new Judd Apatow movie). I wasn't sure how I felt about it at first, but I'm pretty sure it will be funny. Besides, if it has Kenneth, how can I not love it?

Drop A Duece On Them...

Sometimes, when I'm perusing items in Google Reader, I will star things that I don't have time to read or watch at the exact moment. You'll notice that things sometimes appear in my shared feed (that's the feed, you should subscribe to it...) a day or two after they were posted because I often forget to go back through my starred items. Anyway, this weekend I was going through my starred items and a post with this picture was there, which I thought was funny. It was immediately and completely randomly followed up by this video. Ironically, I thought the two related well.



I'm just impressed that chick holds it together. She's oh so close to losing it...I guess this could give you an idea as to the caliber of things I read on the Internets.

Mario Lopez Is A Bad Host

I don't know if you watch the Super Bowl for football or just commercials, but that was an amazing game. On top of a win-win situation for me as a fan, its too bad the commercials weren't outstanding or else we could have gotten the rare Super Bowl Entertainment Trifecta. Why was it a win-win you ask? Well, if the Patriots won, then dumbass Mercury Morris could shut the hell up and we would have seen history. But, since the Giants won, we get to celebrate in d-bags Belichick, Harrison and whoever else you don't like on the Patriots suffer in defeat - and that's awesome. Going back to the commercial thing, I'm pretty sure this was the best commercial from the NFL playoffs (sadly, it wasn't unveiled during the Super Bowl).



Anyway, you don't know this, but my wife loves those crazy dance shows (like So You Think You Can Dance and Dancing With The Stars. On Saturday, we watched a new one that MTV has created: Randy Jackson's America's Best Dance Crew. It is all hip-hop dancing, so that's better than any of the other dancing shows, but there are two really, really painful parts of the show: JC Chasez of N'Sync fame) and Mario Lopez. They are both really, really white dudes interacting with a more rugged crowd. Someone has chronicled all of JC Chasez's awkward interactions (if you watch that, count how many times he says um, uh, kind of, and I mean). I'm not sure how he got on the show, but I can let it slide because he was in N'Sync and they did quite a bit of dancing; however cheesy it was. The real question is how in the hell Mario Lopez got this gig. If you watch that Chasez clip, you only get brief moments of Senor Lopez, but that's all it takes to realize he's trying really hard to be ghetto, forgetting that he spent the last few years doing an Animal Planet show. He is awkward, clearly overreading his lines and just an overall bad host. Besides, if you remove DWTS from the equation, I'm pretty sure this is his only dance experience.



Maybe he's more hood than I thought. We should probably check another video just to make sure.



Ah, that's the Slater I knew. Although if Kelly Kapowski (NSFW) thinks that is hot then I guess you can't fault him.

Drunk History Part II

I'm kinda off my game tonight. I'm not sure if I haven't completely recovered from being sick last weekend things have just been weird today. First, I couldn't focus completely at work and needed to think from home to figure out my problem. Then, we lost to an awful team at basketball tonight - I have no clue what happened but they made some lucky shots. Personally, I played like shit and that makes it more frustrating. Now I'm watching my Spurs let f-ing Jacque Vaughn lead them in shots and scoring (If you know who Jacque Vaughn is, then you have to feel bad for me, no matter whether you like the Spurs or not. If you don't know who he is, then that should only reaffirm my feelings exasperation).

To top it off, I found Drunk History Part II earlier this week on Funny or Die (you may remember my post with Part I, but now a few other website have started picking it up. It's been a crazy week. Anyway, here's part II (its not on YouTube yet, and Funny or Die is dumb and refuses to show up in a lot of readers, so you may actually have to click to the actual blizog to see it). Is it as funny as the first? No. But it does feature Jack Black and Clark Duke (the latter or Clark and Michael fame).



Oh ya, there's puking in that one too. Sorry about that. I guess its not that big of a deal - you can't even really see it. Anyway, I'm assuming I'll be back on point after the weekend. I had better be - I'm going to Vegas on Thursday (and we all know how much I love Vegas).

So, on a completely unrelated note - here's a random video called Kill 'Em with Kindness. Enjoy and have a good weekend.