365 = Time To Go

For those of you keeping track, this is post #365 since I started blogging again a couple of years ago. I have no clue how many pictures, videos, links, inappropriate remarks and innuendos I've posted but I'm sure it's a lot.

In any case, I've decided to move on from the Skeet Throwin' blog. Over the past 2 years, I've seen my audience grow, but I feel the medium here is holding me back. I'm only one man and as my life has gotten busier, my posting has become less frequent. As a result, I feel like I'm letting you down.

At this point, you've got to be saying 2 things to yourself: 1) stop talking - where's the videos, and 2) if you stop posting, isn't that worse than posting sporadically? The answer to the second question is yes, but more on that in a second - here's a video.



Let's be honest, because of videos like that I could never give up posting on the internets. I'm not leaving the webernets at all. Instead, I'm going to a new site at Immediate Regret. I'm going to be working with a team of people to create what we think will be a bad ass site to keep you entertained several times a day. And the best part is I am going to still be posting about internet videos and other random stuff so you can still get all the skeet throwing goodness you're used to from the Double M.

As for this blog, I'll keep my posts up here so you can go back and look through them (but mainly because I will probably still link to them), but I don't think there will be many updates here for a while. I'll keep the everything up, so if you swing by to keep up on my shared items or my Twitter you can still do that as well.

It's been a good ride here at I really do appreciate all of my readers (who, not coincidentally, send me a lot of the stuff I post) and I hope all of you will follow me as I move to Immediate Regret.

I'll conclude this post with a couple videos that you all should enjoy.

I'm not sure who the first is from, but it's making fun of the Shaq/Kobe feud.



The second is a funny unaired Will Ferrell SNL sketch - which had to be part of his inspiration for Anchorman or at least Frank from Old School. It's a Funny or Die video, so click through to see it.



Have a good week.

After Dark: Bad Pron Intro and a Handski

Sometimes I find a video like 2 weeks before it becomes popular on the intermist but I forget/am too lazy to post it and then it gains traction and I kick myself for not getting it out to you earlier. Fortunately, I'm not too prideful to just post it anyway. In case you haven't seen this, here's a chick that appears to be giving a handski at a Devil Rays/Red Sox baseball game. It's safe to watch (read: you don't see anything) but you'll prolly watch it a couple of times.



In any case, here's another video that you must watch if you haven't yet. I'm not saying porn intros should be good, but this one is ridiculous. It's also SFW and worth watching just for the acting.

No Time To Post

I haven't had time to post this week, but I couldn't let a Friday go without a post. So to start off your Friday, here's an awesome video about mustaches. (Video via Awful Announcing



And since you've got nothing to do on a Friday, here's a ridiculous tv movie from 1997 about the Justice League.

Italian Spiderman Parts VII & VIII

Two more installments of the genius Italian Spiderman. It no longer needs an intro.

Episode VII is basically a fight with rubber snakes and the Will Ferrell dart scene from Old School.



Episode VIII is boring until there is about a minute left.



Apparently there's only 2 left so enjoy them while they last!

America: F- Yeah

Happy 4th of July everybody!

Last year at this time, I was packing stuff up in my apartment getting ready to move from Austin, TX to Lincoln, NE. Turns out packing sucks, so this year's celebration is starting off a little better (except for the fact that I'm at work). In any case, let's celebrate by watching a ridiculous Captain America video featuring background music from Team America: World Police



Turns out those are all from the Captain America movie (who knew) from the 90's. That's real folks.

In any case, here's an awesome America Rules/England Sucks video from Jack English.



Have a great holiday and a good weekend.

Grumpy Old Men Are Always Funny

You may remember a couple of weeks ago when we saw a kid film himself purposely (?) failing a bunch of driving lessons. Well, here's a longer version with the dude who was swearing. If you laughed the first time, you'll laugh at this.



Swearing is one thing, but now I'm gonna step it up into fighting. Check out this clip - you'll laugh in under 20 seconds.

Bears: They Smell the Menstruation

As I've said many a time, Anchorman is one of my favorite movies. I love that whole movie, although, I felt like Ferrell didn't know how to end it so they did the whole bears thing. That said, it was awesome. Bears are, for some reason, a good source of humor. Take this pole dancing bear, for example (via Best Week Ever).



If nothing else, that's funny for its absurdity. That said, in the next video, the guys go over the top on absurdity with respect to bears (not to mention anything else). I don't know how to describe this video except that it contains some racy language and about 5 seconds of plumber's crack (via EDSBS).



Pretty sure those guys topped Bear Force One.

After Dark: Strippers and Dwayne Wade Sex

The after dark portion of this blog continues this week with a couple of ridiculous items. First, to the right, is a picture of Dwayne Wade on a box of Sueper Sex Pills. I have no clue where this box is from (obviously Asia somewhere) but I'm pretty sure no matter where you are, Sueper is not the right spelling. Furthermore, there's no way Dwayne Wade allowed himself to be on this box. This pic came from the outstanding basketball blog Basketbawful they said that this pic of Wade came from the front of NBA Live '06 so I guess it's spelling and legal fail on part of the Sueper Sex pills.

Next, is a video of a webcam stripper fail from the always good Fail Blog. It's moderately NSFW (no nudity, but she's scantly clad) but worth the watch. Trust me.

Italian Spiderman Parts V & VI

I love these crazy Italian Spiderman videos are some of my favorite things. They are ridiculous and over the top. It's gotta be fake though (I echoed this in my last Italian Spiderman post), but after seeing things like this I wasn't sure.

So I decided to research it (and by research I mean type "Italian Spiderman" into Wikipedia). The all knowing encyclopedia says that it is a joke being made by an Australian production company. It also says that it started out as just a for a student film (which I also nailed). All-in-all, it's kinda disappointing, although it probably says better things about our world.

Anyway, without further ado, here's part V featuring a 2-minute a fat guy in yellow sweat suit, the mortal kombat head swivel guy (in the background), and a 2-minute psychadelic drug ending (seriously just quit watching after the mortal kombat dude appears).



Here is Part VI, which I call "LOST: Italian Spiderman" because it's the only way to describe it...



Have a good weekend.

Jason Bateman Hancock Attack

Will Smith's movie Hancock comes out sometime next weekend. I can't tell if it will be good or not, but it does feature Jason Bateman. He's been making the rounds on all of the night shows, but this interview with Kieth Olberman was probably the best. Trust me.



You may have to click through to the post if you are in a reader to see this video.

I think I just blue myself...

Crazy Chuck E. Cheese Action

I used to love Chuck E. Cheese and Showbiz Pizza because I loved all of the video games there. Of course, my family would always go order a large pizza and invariably sit in front of the electronic gorilla/mouse depending on the restaurant. I always hated the songs they sang, but this one would be awesome.



I don't even like that song - I think the lyrics are ridiculous. Here's an even more ridiculous one featuring Shakira. Side note: My brother came up with alternate lyrics to this song that you'll never forget: "Oh baby when you talk like that, you make my p*ssy all wet." A bit crude? Yes. Hilarious? Yes. Sing them to yourselves while watching this video.



I'm not sure what it is about those videos - I'm pretty sure it's the memories mixed with the outrageous intro discussion mixed with bad singing mixed with a few margaritas - but they make me laugh.

Shaq Rapping Madness

If you have checked out the Internets or ESPN over the last 24 hours, you have probably seen this video which showed up sometime Monday morning. TMZ released a video of Shaq freestyle rapping a diss about Kobe, and since I love hip-hop, freestyling, and the Association, I'm pretty sure I need to post it.



That is nasty. It's too bad he doesn't go after Kobe more on that one because I'm pretty sure that would have made it better. That had to be one the of happiest moments of big guy's life. Well done. Of course, this isn't the first time, Shaq has done a "freestyle" diss either. Here's one of him taking on Vlade "The Godfather of Flopping" Divac.



At this point, you may be asking yourself, how did Shaq get so good at freestyle rapping? The answer? Practice. And also lots of attempts. You see, much like his free throws, Shaq only connects on about 50% of his freestyles. For instance, here's another bus freestyle from the Diesel.



And if you thought that was bad, just watch this clip from the critically acclaimed movie* Kazaam.



We genies! Of course, that's not really a freestyle. But it's still awesome a rap. Side note, iIf you really liked that, you can even watch it in Spanish!

Anyway, back to the original video - Shaq was pretty good, although I wish he sh*t all over Kobe again (MADTV warning). In any case, that had to be fun to see live, and you know some promoter somewhere is trying to setup a freestyle rap battle between Kobe and Shaq right now.

* Kazaam was actually not critically acclaimed. But it did have it's own underoos!

After Dark: Talking to 2 Girls at One Time

Sometimes I find funny/ridiculous videos and I don't really like to post them during the week because they are NSFW. As such, I've decided to introduce a new segment called Skeet Thrower: After Dark. These intermittent posts will randomly occur on the weekend and contain videos that you probably shouldn't watch at work.

The first video is from a crappy chat line commercial.



1) Who thought those girls were hot?
2) What kind of bikinis are they wearing? That just looks like bad early 90's underwear.
3) What kind of phones are they talking on? They look like regular corded phones that have just been unplugged
4) Seriously?
5) And finally, no, I don't think I actually can handle talking to two girls at one time.

Friday Dance Craze

It's Friday and we should celebrate by seeing some ridiculous dancing.

First, here's Maury's you're not the father dance.



Then, here's Darth Vader breaking it down Thriller style.



If you enjoyed that, here's the full video.

Finally, here's Mario Lopez as a gay young pirate.



Have a good weekend.

Blogger/Office Attack

If you visit the site you're used to seeing a 3 columns thing. Well, something is wrong with Blogger and that's gone all to hell. Today the sh*t hit the fan and now my template is all jacked up. I'll fix it this weekend.

In any case, here's an office battle that you should see. The place I used to work rocked out rubberband fights and the place I currently work has nerf guns, but this is over the top and awesome.



Also, in case you didn't see, the Celtics won the NBA championship last night. It wasn't a very good game, but Garnett's speech afterwards was unreal.

Italian Spiderman Parts II - IV

There's more Italian Spiderman. I'm not sure why. Really. I have no clue. But I'm sure you'll laugh.

First is part 2. I'm pretty sure this is what the party in Anchorman was like. It's a boring episode (read: no fat Spiderman), but the tongue scene should make you laugh.



After watching Part 3, I have to assume this is all just some joke video made by some college kids that they've decided to carry on for a while. Or it's just some Nintendo Wario/Spiderman cross-over.



Part 4 should be called "Cloning, Respect, and the Luche Libre" If you don't laugh multiple times while watching this, then leave the site and never come back.*



I just want to know why that dude gets the Mortal Kombat head bobbing thing going on whenever he gets surprised. I have to assume that's inconvenient a lot of the time.

* You can still come back

Vern Fonk: Part II

One of my favorite posts in my 300+ posts was a post about Vern Fonk Insurance (I said in the post that I would start saying the word Shipopi more and I have).

Well, there's a ton of Vern Fonk videos on YouTube, and I finally watched a few more of them. And now, I'll pass that forward by showing you a couple of the best. Here's one that is called Fonk to the Future.



If you ever wanted to see the Vern Fonk guy cross dress, now is your chance.



Finally, here's a couple Napolean Dynamite ones that are kinda funny.

Lakers Crying: Always Funny

In 2003, my Spurs beat the Lakers. That was awesome for me as a Spurs fan. As a bonus, here this was what happened at the end of that game.



Crying! Good times. Well done. In any case, after last night's debacle in the Staples center, Sasha Vujacic decided to join in on the act about 5 years too late.



That was almost as good as the first time for me...I probably laughed harder at this one. Well done, Sasha.

Real Life vs. My Life

Well, as I said on Monday, I just returned from Vegas. I've said before, I think Vegas is like Disneyland for adults - life just doesn't seem real there. That said, I think I live a lot of my life on the webernets and it turns out that isn't real either. Fortunately, my boy Vasquez sent me this video to sort things out.



I never watch/read Red vs. Blue but that video might force me to do so. Anyway, now that I know what's real and what's not, it's time to put it to the test. Here's a video, you tell me if you think it's real.



OK, so not only is that not real (was anything on 90210 really plausible?) but its a modified clip from the show. Still funny and ridiculous. You know what else is ridiculous? The guy singing in that video, David Silver Brian Austin Green (featuring bonus white rap music video!), is railing Megan Fox.

In any case, here's one more video - I'm more inclined to believe this is real except for the multiple angle things. Either way, it's always funny to see people get pissed and start overreacting - and this video has that.

Time for some White Rap

I spent the last few days in Las Vegas. I'll spare you the details but I ended up +$235so it went pretty well. Unfortunately, I didn't get to play any Casino War. That said, not playing war may have contributed to me being plus $235.

In any case, I figured I'd come back with what I'm best at: white rap.

In honor of the NBA Finals going on right now (more on that later this week), here's an awesome Converse featuring Magic Johnson and Larry Bird. There are 2 white guys in this commercial and it should remind you that the 80's were awesome.



Speaking of awkward, here's Dr. Dre's "Bitches Ain't Shit" sung a cappella. If you have never heard this song/haven't heard it for a long time I think you'll be blown away by the amount of swear words present.

I Can Satisfy You

And not in some creepy R. Kelly/P. Diddy way, but rather with some awesome videos.

That said, here's a guy that will satisfy you in a different way.



The #1 butt satisfier? That sounds like a crazy porn title that you could win. I'm gonna be honest, if I'm ever voted the #1 satisfier of anything, I'll probably celebrate like this.

Mortal Kombat!

One of my favorite games growing up was Mortal Kombat. Just about every version of that was a lot of fun and I spent way to much time trying to get the fatalities to work. In any case, here's a video about fatalities that made me laugh. There may be some inappropriate things said in this video.



Speaking of fatalities, here's a video with a ton of the MK3 fatalities.



BTW: Make sure to tell Wheezy happy birthday today.

Friday: Cougars, Music Stars, and Aliens!

Well, I almost finished a BCS list for tomorrow, but mourning my team's dismissal from the playoffs and crazy storms really slowed my progress. So instead, here's a couple videos that you should laugh at.

The first is Mariah Carey trying to throw out the first pitch on her world-wide publicity tour. I'm not sure what she's publicizing - I think her new marriage to a way younger dude. Good news! That means she's a cougar!



Next, here's John Mayer's music making process. This is older, but if you haven't seen it yet, you're missing out. (Unfortunately, it's on funny or die, so you'll have to click through to watch this if you're on a reader). Speaking of older videos, if you haven't seen Weezer's Pork and Beans yet, you need to watch that also. Like now.



Finally, here's some ALF bloopers. If you liked Alf, you'll laugh at these.



Have a good weekend.

Fake Power Rangers Are Really Awesome

I haven't posted about ninjas in a while, and, while they are a dangerous species, I love ninjas. That's why I was immediately drawn to this show: Tattooed Teenage Alien Fighters From Beverly Hills. I don't remember this show at all, but the Samurai robot is ridiculous...ok the whole show is ridiculous. It's basically a Power Rangers rip-off (which was an atrocious show to begin with). In any case, here's the first part of the show, featuring a ludicrous ninja robot attack.



If that tantalized you, here's the second part which features a hideous hand giving tattoos to high schoolers...if you're gonna skip one video today, skip this one.



In the 3rd part they really get to work. The combination of graphics, fighting skills, and the soundtrack is unbeatable.



I just want to know where they got those laser powered ninja weapons. Also, I'm downloading that theme song and putting it on my iPod.

If you enjoyed those videos (?!?) then you can check out more here. Enjoy the LOST season finally tonight - I will.

F--- You NBA Funny Videos for your Wednesday

I was a very not happy person last night (I don't wanna talk about it). Fortunately, I finished running (I ran 7 more miles than planned, but whatever) and was able to come back and find a couple videos to cheer me up. So, I've passed them along to you.

The first is a red band trailer for the upcoming Will Ferrell movie, Step Brothers. It's definitely NSFW.



Does Will Ferrell change character? No. Will it make me laugh? Yes.

Here's another video ridiculous movie related video. Here's Arnold's commentary related to Conan: The Barbarian. It's worth a watch. Trust me.



Finally, here's a Different Strokes episode featuring the A-Team (that means Mr. T is there folks). Oh yeah, it's also dubbed over in Japanese. If you ever wanted to hear what Mr. T sounds like in Japan, here's your chance.

Italian Spiderman Part I

I don't know if you remember, but a few months ago, I posted a video featuring the Italian Spiderman. It was ridiculous to say the least. Well, now I've seen a video from what is "The first part of the Italian Spiderman Movie will be brought to you in 10 weekly installments so keep posted each week for the next succulent slice of Spider action!!"

There's some ridiculousness in this video, but I'll let you see it.



Apparently this Spiderman rocks a shotgun, cigarette and may or may not be Ron Jeremy. I don't know whether I like it better or not, but it certainly will get its own post.

Commercial Attack

I know I was supposed to put up an NBA post today, but it didn't make it - I've got some good videos coming though. I put my picks up on Twitter yesterday, so they're written in stone (side note, Ross, I put a Twitter update up there just for you).

In the meantime, here's a compilation of fake commercials (you know I love them). The first one is all about Windex and has some NSFW text.



Here is another commercial from Eagle insurance that I've featured before. This one is ridiculous.



Finally, here's the first commercial for Family Guy spinoff "The Cleveland Show." I have no clue whether I'll like this, but it is about my heritage.

Turkish Rambo: All The Killing But With More Ludicrousousity

If you have been reading this site for any length of time (which is not many of you, I know) you will by now have seen some of my favorite movie clips all time, which of course come from atrocious movies. Some of these clips include Shark Attack 3: Megalodon, Italian Spiderman, and the Undefeatable. Today, I add another to the collection - Turkish Rambo. This is 6:20 of pure bad-guy killing enjoyment (not top be confused with 1:20 of pure double enjoyment).



I don't even know what to say to that. It is awesome. Well done, Turkey. You are now my 9th favorite nation.

SNL Recap: Steve Carrell

Steve Carrell hosted SNL this week and it had some funny moments. I've included a few below.

The first thing is the opening skit which had me rolling and is right on par with some of my Twitter updates from yesterday.



I wish I would have seen that clip before yesterday because I probably would have laughed out loud. The next skit is one about CPR that made me chuckle for some reason. Its got a little SNL gore, so exercise caution on that.



Here's the opening monologue. I laughed because it's classic Steve Carrell. Also, I drink far too many red bulls (they get me through my business trips) and the thought of having 6 makes me laugh/cringe/salivate.



Everything included, this was my favorite clip on SNL this week.



Like I said, I will be gone for most of the week, so I'm not sure how much I'll be posting - I'll do my best. Have a good week.

It's A Blog Roll

I'm am an embarrassingly big fan of the Internet. Like, if I could ever meet the intermist I might turn into a giggling school girl. And one of my favorite parts of the webernet are blogs. There are a lot of good blogs out there, and people (including me) don't give them enough credit for being good (to be honest, I'm pretty sure this post is probably doing them more hard than good, but, oh well). So, out of respect to these blizogs, I've added a massive blog rolls to the bottom left column of this blog (my friends - or really anyone that links to me - will stay in the top-right). If you subscribe to my shared feed (you can see it on the left too) or follow me on Twitter (here's that profile again) you probably have seen many of these sites before. Furthermore, this isn't all of the blogs I read, but these are definitely some of the blogs that shape my views on life. Look at the list and let me know if there's any blogs that I should be reading (or, if for some reason, you're mad that you're not on there, let me know).

I had this big long post written about blog accountability - but let's be honest - who really want to hear that from me. So instead, here's an awesome commercial that probably applies to several of my readers this fine Sunday.

Friday on the Road

Over the next 7 days I will be on the road for 6.5 of them. As such, I'm hoping to get some posts written, but you never know. In any case, to start off your Friday and finish off your week, here's a new music video from Flight of the Conchords - Ladies of the World. I enjoyed it.



Seems like 70's-ish roller skating videos are all the rage right now. You know what is also the rage? Being an idiot.



Have a good weekend.

Ron Burgundy vs. Tom Brokaw

I thought I've uploaded this before, but I'm not sure, so here you go. It's just like the title says (you know I'm a sucker for Ron).



I wish they wouldn't have cut the interview - I feel like I'm missing out on some good stuff.

Side note: it's a funny or die video, so if you're in a reader, you'll probably have to click through to watch it - sorry.

It's Local Commercial Madness

Sometimes when I open a video, I know right away that I'm gonna love it. It's awesome. Today I have one of those awesome videos.



I don't know what it is about crappy local commercials but I love them. Seriously, I want to meet the people who comes up with these ads. Here's an awesome pizza one.



I think I'm gonna start mixing that dance into my daily routine. Just because I can, here's an awesome flea market commercial that's been all over the intermist but is always worth a watch.

Samsung Shrinks Shia's SNL

I haven't written about this yet because I'm in denial, but about 3 months started to act a little schizo. It would take about 10 minutes to turn on (after flashing on and off the entire time). Turns out that's really f-ing annoying. So, I put it in a service request with Samsung thinking the issue would be resolved. Turns out it took 3 fucking months for Samsung to get the part for my less than 1-year-old TV (which they said they discontinued) to the repair people...which, of course, didn't fix the issue - so the service people took my TV back to their shop. I have no clue what they are doing there but I'm pretty sure there's a lot of masterbation/being douche-bags because there's not a lot of TV fixing happening.

Why am I telling you this now? I struggled through a week-and-a-half without a TV, hoping everyday that my TV would come back to me, but, sadly, it has not happened yet. Over the course of a week+, DVR'd TV really starts to back up. So tonight I caved and started watching TV - leading off with SNL.

It was new for the first time in forever and Shia LaBeouf was the host. One of the best recurring skits SNL has going right now is the MacGruber skits. Shia did a few of them and they were all pretty good.



I know I've already talked typed a lot but I want to give you a brief story before I show you another clip. Last summer Transformers came out and Megan Fox catapulted herself into the pop culture circle of my friends. Turns out she's hot. In any case, turns out my brother-in-law, AP, thought that the Megan's name was Shia LaBeouf, which my friend used to his advantage - culminating in a speaker phone call where AP told a car full of dude's that he thought Shia was unbelievably hot and he would do certain things that I cannot repeat here. With that in mind, here is another skit that's kinda funny (there were some funnier skits, but in context I don't think I laughed harder).



Here's the digital short from the week. It was ok - but I'm pretty sure it was just a shot at some country artists which makes it cool with me.



One side note on the episode - Keenan was prominently featured in about 4 skits. And 2 of them could have been funny, but he blew it (one was funny, despite him, and his news desk stuff isn't funny at all). Just about every time Keenan talked I wanted to kill myself. He is atrocious. Here is one skit featuring Keenan where I actually did laugh (not from him though).



Last note: it looks like SNL has finally figured out that putting all kinds of clips up on the Hulu makes sense. So, here's a link.

Have a good week.

NBA Round 2 Preview

Well, we are now 2-3 games deep in every 2nd round playoff series, but I promised an NBA 2nd round preview, so here it is.

But before I give you the preview, I'd like to take a moment to congratulate myself on a thrilling victory in last weeks Skeet Thrower Draft on Playground Games. It is very satisfying to win a draft and I celebrated by having a glass of OJ.

Onto the preview:

Eastern Conference

Boston (1) vs. Cleveland (4)

The NBA is rigged this year so picking against the Celtics would be dumb. Not to mention the fact that the Celtics have at least 3 players that can actually play basketball at a high level while the Cavs only have one (although he's a really good one). Celtics probably win in 5, but it might go 6 if the Celtics forget to play defense on the road again. Boston's already up 2-0

Celtics (the Van Gundy part of this commercial always makes me laugh):



Cavs (this is a funny video back from when The Rock was a bad guy):



Detroit (2) vs. Orlando (3)

Detroit should win this series, earning the right to get beaten by the Celtics. Detroit is good, but not that good and this will probably go 6 or 7 games. That said, Detroit's 2nd best player justpulled his groin/hamstring, so Orlando may have a chance. I'd still go with Detroit. Detroit is up 2-1

Detroit (here's a ridiculous Detroit Pistons cartoon from a few years ago):



Orlando (here's an awesome video that I've posted before with Shaw, LeBron, and Orlando's Dwight Howard dancing):



Western Conference

LA Lakers (1) vs. Utah (4)

The Lakers don't even need the leagues assistance to beat Utah. Utah's playoff MO for the last 2 years (when they lose) is to put up one bad quarter, get down by double-digits, rally late in the 4th only to fall a few points short. This has and will happen again in this series. Plus, Derek Fisher screwed them (to be fair, he left to be closer to his family and the Jazz helped him out, but his knowledge of Utah's system is really messing with their mojo). Lakers should win in 5. Lakers lead the series 2-0

Lakers (here's an old Lakers video I've posted before...):



Utah (I may change my opinion of Jazz fans after this):



New Orleans (2) vs. San Antonio (3)

The Hornets really surprised me with how easily they beat a self-destructing Dallas team and I think the Spurs blew their load beating Phoenix. The homer in me says Spurs in 7, but the basketball guy in me says this is the worst match-up the Spurs could have gotten and the Hornets win in 6. I guess the Spurs losing wouldn't be all bad since my work may have a connection there once the season ends. Hornets lead this one 2-1

Hornets (this is an old commercial from a player on the Hornets):



Spurs (this is just a WTF video):



Here's one final video from the NBA on TNT the other night. It's been all over the place in the sports world, but its pretty funny. Charles Barkley gets duped on a teleprompter trick.

The Immature Video Post

I have two videos today that you should enjoy. They are probably just a little immature, but that fits on this website anyway (and on the heels of a couple Twitter posts yesterday, you can tell I'm not too worried about maturity).

The first is an awesome clip from TMNT 2 that someone sent me the other day. I own the first TMNT movie, but I haven't seen the 2nd TMNT movie in a long time. I didn't realize it was a different April in that one - these are the kinda things I'm expected to know. Anyway, here's an awesome clip from that movie - just wait for Splinter's line.



Of course, a brief innuendo can only be topped by this awesome Shaq clip that I found while looking for that Will Ferrell clip from the other day.



Also, yes, I know I promised a NBA round 2 preview - and one will show up - but I just can't believe my Spurs are down 0-2...so I've been procrastinating.

Videos That You Should See

I was going to do an NBA second round preview today (yes, I know the 2nd round started Saturday, but I had to wait until all the second round match-ups were decided), but there's something more pressing - a bunch of funny videos. There are 3 videos to be exact that have been (or will be) popping up all over and are worth watching.

The first is from Conan - it's his version of GTA IV. If you've ever played (or seen) GTA, you'll like it.



The second part to that video can be viewed here.

The next video is an "unaired" clip from SNL featuring Shaq and Will Ferrell. I put the quotes around unaired because I've seen this clip before and spent countless hours searching for it (for instance, I spent 30 minutes searching for it for my first NBA Playoff Preview Post). Anyway, now that I've found it, I couldn't resist posting it (it's from Funny or Die, so you'll probably have to click through to the post to see it if you're using a reader).



The last video is one of the new Marvel Vs. DC Mac/PC Parody videos. This ones pretty good and topical considering the release of Iron Man (side note, I'll have a summer movie post coming soon as well).



Have a good week.

Skeet Thrower Draft: Playground Games

It's the return of original Friday content. I've been pretty busy lazy the last few weeks and haven't gotten a post written. Anyway, about 3 weeks ago we finished up a draft and I finally had a chance to write it up.

Topic: Playground Games. Really, it's anything you played at recess or PE while in elementary or middle school.

Order: 1) Laura, 2) Adam, 3) Ross, 4) MM, 5) Wheezy

3 rounds, snaking order. Go.

First Round

1. Laura: SWINGS

MM: PLEASE GIVE A 1-2 SENTENCE DESCRIPTION IF POSSIBLE...WHY ARE WE YELLING?

Laura: I DON'T KNOW!
Swings are classic. And can be enjoyed at all ages (yeah, I've been on a swing in college). You can normal swing. You can swing in a superman pose. You can have someone turn you around and around and around until the chain is all twisted and then let go. You can swing as high as possible and then compete to jump the farthest. Swings are way more versatile than they receive credit for. Despite some other people's opinions, swings are not a peripheral! Swings are a staple of the playground that will be around forever.

Adam: I do the majority of my swinging at Kansas City area Comfort Inns, generally at the quarterly conference. I didn't know people swung at playgrounds, I'll have to look into that.

2. Adam: CRAPS
Looks like I need to have a big draft. My first round selection for best playground game / recess activity is CRAPS, or "shooting dice" as you might have called it. What a rush it always was betting my lunch ticket and praying that I'd be able to eat hot lunch for the rest of that week.

3. Ross: BOOMERANG
The coolest thing we ever did at recess was play with a BOOMERANG! That was the hot item at 4th grade recess. That is, until Ryan Hellander sliced his face open and the powers that be decided it probably wasn't a good idea to have 40 kids chasing around a flying weapon. ...I probably should have saved that one for a later round. Not likely to be stolen I imagine.

MM: I was not gonna steal Boomerang, but only because the word Boomerand reminds me of the first time I ever saw a cougar attack. (that's probably NSFW)

Draft Note: This has nothing to do with the playground, but this ridiculous video comes up on YouTube when you search Boomerang:


4. MM: 4-Square
Honestly, there was nothing better than four square - there was action, shady alliances between the top people and your friends, moves that were borderline cheating, the ability to tag someone with a playground ball, and, as a bonus, just about everyone could get involved.

Draft Note: This over-the-top video is not how I played it, but makes me want to play 4-square even more.



5. Wheezy:Tether Ball
One of the main reasons for this pick is because it was one of the few "sports" I could actually play with any chance of actually winning when I was in elementary school, but also because even if you weren't playing - the people who were looked so ridiculous that you could always enjoy the spectacle.

Second Round

6. Wheezy: Tire Swing
On my elementary school playground there was one of those wooden multi-use play areas with a cargo net you climbed to get to the monkey bars to get to the Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom style rope bridge to get to the twisty slide etc, and on one corner was a tire swing that, when pushed hard enough would get you pinballing back and forth on the support beam structure surrounding it. Plus it spun like crazy, so it was kind of a combined merry go round / swing twofer.

Draft Note: This should remind you of what it looks like to play tetherball.


7. MM: Dodgeball
What's better than winging a playground ball at some of your friends, or, even better, someone that pissed you off. Plus, dodgeball is the ultimate survival of the fittest game. If you're slow or fat or suck at life, you're gonna be out really early. Bonus: I could go play dodgeball right now and have an awesome time.

8. Ross: Kickball
You get to peg people with that red ball, just like in dodgeball, but you also get the satisfaction of booting the ball and hearing that twang. You know what I'm talking about. Kickball is a great playground game, much better than baseball as it required only the ball and moved along much faster, since you never need to pitch 12 times for a single at bat.

MM: I did love that twaaaanggg sound.

Laura: Oh yeah, this game was way high on my draftboard. That twang is particularly satisfying when every one moves into the infield just because you're a girl and then the ball goes over their heads

Draft Note: Here's an awesome kickball league I want to join


9. Adam: Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles
This was always a favorite of mine as everyone else always seemed to want to be Rafael because he was red, or Donatello for reasons I still don't understand. This opened up Michaelangelo for me which was perfect because despite his bullshit ninchucks, he was the most awesome. A true story is that in 2nd grade my teacher had an intervention with my parents because I was too obsessed with Turtles. Well, Ms. Latka, you know when we're discussing Michaelangelo the artist you're pretty much just asking for some Turtles quotes and references, and maybe you just weren't into them enough. Turtles - the game for kids who love Pizza, debate favorite colors and weapons, and are constantly facing sabotage threats from the Foot Clan.

Draft Note: I'm not sure how this slid through without so much as a comment. I loved playing TMNT on the playground. That said, I'm pretty sure we looked like a mix of these next 2 videos:





10. Laura: Capture the Flag
My entire school used to play this (or kickball) at recess. (Note: My entire school was 17 people, including the teacher that played with us.) One of the criterion for all my picks is that it can be played by all ages and in different circumstances. We played on a semi-open field with a few hills and trees. You could also play a game across an entire campus, or at camp we played in the forest. You can specialize too and it doesn't always require the most coordination (speed is helpful unless you're super sneaky).

Third Round

11. Laura: Tag
Tag can be played at all ages with varying levels of difficulty and any size group. There's normal tag, which I believe was designed solely to use up kids' excess energy since the game never really ends.There's freeze tag, which can actually allow someone to "win" the game by freezing everyone, but it still can go for a long time and you can work together. There's blob tag where people get linked together. Depending on space constraints tag can also turn into a type of hide-and-seek around the playground equipment. Tag is the simplest of games, but with a little bit of creativity it can be changed and elaborated in so many ways.

12. Adam: Tornado Slide
This was the biggest, twist on the way down slide on most school playgrounds. What's true is that I was so deathly afraid of heights through about 3rd grade that I didn't even make it down until 4th grade, and by then everyone was either playing football or climbing UP the slide anyways. Still, I remember the rush of not dying my first time climbing up those stairs and getting all of my undergarments bunched up in the static cling shock of the trip down. Of course, by the time I had enough balls to actually climb up to that slide - there were bad kids hanging out in the top, scratching curse words into the metal, and they never appreciated having to go down just so I could conquer my fears.

13. Ross: The Floor Is Lava
Maybe you called it something slightly different, but I'm willing to bet you had some sort of game where you couldn't touch the ground. This game is a classic, and every playground has it's own quirks and tricks to get from one side to the other without being engulfed in flames.

14. MM: Red Rover
I would like to meet the person that came up with Red Rover. I have a feeling it went like this: A teacher was pissed at his class for being douche bags, so when recess rolls around, he's like, "Hey. I have a game we're going to play today." Then he splits them into two teams and stand in a straight line. Then one-by-one, he has the class run full-steam from their team right into the other team. Furthermore, here's a checklist I used for good games: 1) Is there a chance for injury? Yes. 2) Is there a chance that you'll pick on a girl or a weak kid? Yes. Is there a chance that you could end up on the ground with 2 girls? Yes. Is there a chance that you'll be mad at someone after the game? Yes. Four yeses - how can you not love this game?

15. Wheezy: Butts Up
Get your heads out of the gutter man, this is an elementary school game!

Basically, if I remember correctly. The ball is thrown against a large wall, usually the side of the building, then as it returns the kids try to catch it. If you successfully catch it without dropping the ball, you get then throw it against the wall again. If you touch it WITHOUT catching it, (like drop it, get grazed by it, etc) - you must run to the wall and touch the wall before anybody can get the ball to the wall again.

If you don't make it to the wall first, then you get one "out", and must stand against the wall, facing towards it. The kid who gave you that out then tries to peg you as hard as he can with the ball (usually a tennis or racquetball). If you accumulate 3 outs, then you're done playing.

I really don't know why this game was all that appealing - I guess because of the painful nature of losing (see Bloody Knuckles and the quarter game where you try to keep it spinning for other examples of the pain based phenomenon).

So that's the draft. I'll declare the winner next Friday, so vote until then. Here's the poll.

Have a great weekend.

Random Phoenix Post

I'm sitting in Phoenix right now where the weather is beautiful and I'm trying not to celebrate too loudly because my Spurs just dominated the Suns. I'm just as excited as this weatherman about a specific number...



OK, I'm not that excited, but I'm still happy about the win. In a non-creepy kinda way. Anyway, to celebrate Phoenix's demise, here's a ridiculous video of Phoenix players intertwined with soap opera clips.

Bizarro World Day

A majority of you probably didn't read comics growing up, but I did. I always felt one of the worst story lines was the "Bizarro" world people just because they didn't make any sense (that said the Bizarro Seinfeld story line was awesome). In any case, here's a video about Bizarro superheros. I'm not sure what it was, but this video made me laugh.



Oh yeah, it was the line "I'd grab her" - that definitely made me laugh. Anyway, speaking of Bizarro worlds, here's Snoop performing with Willie Nelson.



That dance is ridiculous. If you wanna see a higher res version there's one here (warning - it has 28 secs of dark time up front).

Wednesday = FAIL Day

Quick Skeet Thrower update. If you come to the site, you may notice a little change in the top left corner of my blog. Well, I've finally decided to make the jump to Twitter. I didn't really have any great reason to do it - other than to bitch about random people when I'm not at a computer - but I've finally got a decent idea:

There are times when I add items to my shared feed that I really want to comment on something or point out something specific in the article. Well, Twitter will allow me to do that. So, if you want to get updates from me throughout the day, you can follow me on Twitter, or subscribe to my Twitter RSS feed. The nice thing about Twitter is that the messages are all less than 160 characters, so its not like there's a lot of extra stuff.

Anyway, today is FAIL day. First, we're going to see a failure at singing combined with a stalkerish video from some chick named Haven Nutt (who just happens to be the daughter of new Ole Miss coach, Houston Nutt) - you'd think with a last name like Nutt that you wouldn't be wanting to draw attention to yourself, but Nutt,Haven powers through and gives us this awesome/ridiculous video.


HT: EDSBS

Not to be outdone, Heidi Montag decided to try and rap the other day on TRL. It was a train wreck. Now I love bad rap videos, but this may take the cake. I have watched this like 30+ times.



Here's the lyrics in case you were too busy laughing:

Yo, yo
I got Heidiwood
I’m wearing it all day
I like it, so what do you got to say
You got apple bottoms, what
You know what’s going up
Um, keep going, I’ll keep flowing
You know what I like to say
Everyday, I’m in New York
It’s all good this way

God help us all if she's a future celebrity...

Attack of the Cougars

Remember a week ago when I said SNL didn't put up my favorite clips from an episode? Well, one of my favorite clips showed up on YouTube - its called the Cougar's Den. Enjoy it while it lasts.



While we're on the topic of older women, here's Hilary (she's an older woman...not a cougar though), Obama, and McCain doing promos for the WWE.



There is a reason candidates don't do this sort of thing usually - because they aren't actors. They come across flat. That said, its kinda funny to hear Obama drop The Rock's lines. Also, how much money would you pay to see McCain reread the transcript from this Hulkster rant.

Chinese MC Hammer

Quick business to get out of the way:

- I told you on Friday to watch the Suns-Spurs match up and it didn't disappoint. The first game had an NCAA tourney style feel with a bonus 3 pointer from Tim Duncan.



- Here is a simulation of a conversation I have had like 6 times this weekend:
"Random Person: Question - Is that Kobe commercial real?
Me: Answer - False."

That's real life ladies and gentlemen. Do you really think that Kobe or the Lakers or his agent or the shoe company or anyone who understands how much Kobe is worth right now (the NBA will make millions with him in the playoffs) would actually tell him to go jump a speeding car? I could write a whole post about this.

- There's only one pick I'd like to change after watching the first games: Utah wins in a sweep. Also, Jon, if it makes you feel any better, Utah threw that game in San Antonio last week because their playoff seeding was a lot better that way.

- Wheezy said in the comments that there were Hammer pants one of the videos (its the LeBron one) and that reminded of this video. So here's an awesome MC Hammer dance by some Asian kid in his living room (while his mom sows and doesn't flinch?!?)



Have a good week.

Skeet Thrower NBA Playoff Preview: First Round

Well, its my 3rd favorite time of the year: the NBA playoffs. 40+ nights of good basketball, the return of good weather, the usually awesome season finale period of TV shows, and what used to be the end of school (but is now just the end of school for Shorty which is still cool because she stays up later than 9:30 pm during the summer) all add up to be a pretty bad ass time.

Soooooo, I've decided to give you my NBA playoff preview. Its a round-by-round format, so there will hopefully be a few more of these later. Fortunately, I won't really talk to much about basketball - it will be all about internet videos with some basketball sprinkled in.

Eastern Conference

Boston (1) vs. Hotlanta (8)

This one's pretty easy, Boston should roll, probably in a sweep. Here's the evidence:

Boston:



Atlanta:



Given that, how could you not pick Boston? That's what I thought.

Detroit (2) vs. Illadelph (7)

You may or may not remember, but about 3 years ago we saw the exact same match up. The Pistons will win this in 5, maybe 6 if they get bored (but let's be honest, without Allen Iverson, the Sixers are F'd). Or if Andre Igoudala drops a chicken noodle soup dance on them.

Detroit:



Phili:



Orlando (3) vs. Toronto (6)

Orlando will win this, but only because they have Superman on their team. This one could be close though. If you want to see some monster dunks, watch Orlando; if you want to see an NBA team with 5 white guys on the floor at the same time, watch Toronto.

Orlando:



Toronto:



That Chris Bosh stuff does make me laugh, but I'd put my money on the guy who changed all-star weekend.

Cleveland (4) vs. Washington (5)

This will be the best series in the east for the first round. Its the best basketball player in the world, LeBron James, versus 3 really good players on Washington - one of whom is a former man crush of mine, Gilbert Arenas. No one else in this series matters. I would go ahead and pick the Cavs just because I can't pick LeBron to lose in the first round.

Cleveland:



Washington:



Western Conference

The west is gonna be good top to bottom. There are going to be some awesome serieseseses here, so if you're going to watch any of the NBA playoffs, I would recommend watching these.

LA Lakers (1) vs. Denver (8)

Kobe is on the Lakers, so I'm not picking against them in the first round. Plus Denver doesn't play defense. Plus Denver's best player (Carmelo Anthony) just got picked up for a DUI. Plus, if you believe the NBA is rigged at times, LA is the 2nd biggest TV market. Just saying.

Lakers (I'm including this video because it is all over the Internets right now):



Denver:



New Orleans (2) vs. Dallas (7)

I hate Dallas (the team not the city), so I'm going to go with New Orleans. If you want a real reason, its because Dallas always chokes. Always. Always. This series should be a lot of fun to watch though.

New Orleans:



Dallas (keep in mind this is their best player):



San Antonio (3) vs. Phoenix (6)

You know the story about an older brother who beats a younger brother at everything and even when the younger brother gets good at something, the older brother comes in and beats them at it, and so the younger brother ends up all pissed off but the older brother just laughs. So the younger brother goes and gets dad to team up on the younger brother to try and win it all. That's the Spurs (older brother) and the Suns (younger brother). There will not be a more competitive series this entire post season. Watch this.

San Antonio (with sweet crappy local commercial flair!):



Phoenix:



Utah(4) vs. Houston (5)

Thanks to the clusterfuck that is the NBA there is a team in Utah that is named the Jazz. Normally, his would be enough to make me pick against them - fortunately for them, they are playing the weakest team in the playoffs. Utah wins in 6, even though they should sweep (but they won't because they suck on the road).

Utah (here's the most awkward interview, all time):



Houston (this video is of the Rockets trying to imitate their teammate, Dikembe Mutumbo):



Have a good weekend.